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Are you happy?

No one really asks anyone this. Are you truly happy?

BohoHeathen 8 Apr 15
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39 comments

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0

Close enough, but then I have low expectations! 😁

10

I am very happy with me..after 26 years of lying to myself and the world, the last 14 have been awesome!

@BohoHeathen thank you!.. I do try to spread my happiness😁😁

8

I don't think being happy is something that is with us all the time. I'm happier today than I have ever been in my life, but it has been a gradual process. Happy is an emotion, like anger, sadness, fear, etc. and where at one time sadness and anger held a stronger position in my life... now I don't experience them as much. It takes work to keep happiness at the forefront. Some days it's easier than others. I've heard some say that it's not happiness but rather contentment and that may very well be true. For me, it helps that, knock on wood, I'm in good health, I'm an optimistic person, I have little to no stress in my life, I'm grateful for the little that I have, I have a loving and supportive family. So what's not to be happy about? 😁

6

I think happiness.... like any other emotion is a temporary feeling. Everyone experiences happiness and sadness for a period of time, never permanently. I think the question should be is one content or feeling neutral about oneself.

Vico Level 5 Apr 16, 2019
6

I am happy on those nights I am playing music. We are a very consistent band, so I never come off the stage feeling bad about our playing. If not actually happy every time I play, I do get lost in the music, and that is a great place to get lost.

6

I don't ask this question . The people who are in peace w self / life , I can tell , I can tell when they smile and it's real , I can just tell .
The ones in trouble sea / waters , my question won't add a thing other than make things worse . There are other ways to offer support that puting someone on the spot w this question . Exactly Bcz society tells us to feel guilty if we are not happy .
Exception : my very few very close to me friends . Hell yeah I am asking daily ! " we good ? Who do I need to beat up ?, how is money? , getting laid? , are u alive ?" = are u happy my friend ?😂😍🙌, and what can I do .

6

No. But I'm content.

5

Yes. I was born an ebullient optimist.

"How are you?" people ask. "Happy," I reply. This gets a smile.

5

No, I'm not. I'm actually worse than when I was watching my late wife suffer and die because back then I at least had some hope that I would meet someone else later and had more support in my life than now from friends. Now that I've been widowed two years and been alone for that long, my friends are now seeming burnt out on supporting me. Also, when my wife was suffering and dying, I knew that an end would eventually come to that process of her disease, but as far as this being alone for the rest of my life, there's no end in sight. So it's worse than being the caretaker spouse of someone with a terminal illness.

It's possible you are still grieving your loss. I would think it would be very difficult to bring someone new into your life if that is the case. You may not even realize it but those meeting you for the first time would be able tell that something wasn't quite right. Being or getting happy is work, it requires self examination and change. New people will be much more receptive to interaction with you when you are in a good place.

@BeeHappy With all due respect, I am not still grieving the loss. My wife lost her personality and most of her cognitive functioning about three years before she died. I began my grieving back then as well as also beginning to emotionally withdraw from her for my own protection. I was doing much better two years ago and had already finished most of my grieving when she died. My depression is about all the rejection in the dating scene and my loss of hope about ever having a partner again. Unless you have lost a spouse to dementia, which is a very different process than other terminal diseases, you don't understand my experience.

I have been ready to date for some time. The problem is few will give me a chance and I don't have enough support and socialization in my life. So the rejection in the dating scene is overwhelming. It has nothing to do with unfinished grieving. BTW, my therapist agrees with this and has been working with me since 2015. She also lost an older sister to dementia and has been in practice 30 years, so I think she knows a bit more.

So yes, Bonnie, I may be too depressed by now to not turn off women in person, but I was not that way before I started getting rejected so much over the last 18 months and it is not related to grief. It is related to rejection, isolation, and lack of hope. Or maybe not. Two weeks ago I met a woman at a stage play and chatted with her afterwards about the play. I looked her up on FB and sent her a message thanking her for the chat and that I was glad to meet her. She sent me a friend request and we chatted some more, discovering that she was a little too young for me and that she wasn't open to dating anybody at this time, but wanted to be friends. So maybe you are just assuming too much about me.

@TomMcGiverin Sorry, didn't mean to step on any toes. Just offering suggestions I thought might help. I'm sure your therapist is much better equipped to address your situation than me. Good luck.

@BeeHappy Thank you Bonnie. You can always message me if you like. I guess that's why, personally, I refrain from offering advice to others on Agnostic about mental health issues that I am not experienced in or that are very complicated. I am afraid of speaking in ignorance to others, even with the best intentions, because I know how that feels on the receiving end.

5

Things could always be worse

5

No. I'm not happy. I'm happier than I had been, I've definitely come farther than I ever expected. But I'm getting there.

4

Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

  • Oliver Goldsmith
4

I'd be happier if some 42 yr olds were 62 🙂 But generally, the answer is no but hope to get that way someday soon

lerlo Level 8 Apr 16, 2019

@lerlo Oh, really?😊

@lerlo I'm in no hurry to be 62. What's wrong with being 42 and you just stay you? Nothing wrong with that. Jus' say'n..

@SleeplessInTexas you know not everyone shares your view on age 🙂

4

I do, I ask.

4

I am unduly happy, can't seem to stay down. Almost wonder if something is broken inside. I'm very content, even when I see so many people around me struggling. Critical thinking has truly set me free. I think about this alot and wonder, shouldn't I be depressed or stressed out once in awhile? I used to take on other people's problems & now I don't.

I'm happy too. Don't feel guilty!. 😁

4

I am happy. That doesn't mean I never had ups and downs, life is like an electrocardiogram, but my average is happy. Mind you, I don't own a house and need to work still at seventy...

4

I am. It’s a choice. Pretty simple, really. Thank you for asking and I hope you are too.

3

Happiness is a choice. A hard fought never won choice. One of tne greatest lies of the modern era tells us is that happiness at its core is out there. Among the careers and relationships, among the things and trinquets it tells us we need. The other lie is that happiness is given by others and taken away by the same. But I know differently. Happiness starts and ends with one person alone inside their mind. Outside of that are plenty of things to help, to feed that core. But at the end of the day we are all alone. Too me we waste so much energy ignoring or denying that truth. That silence. Beating our head against a wall and complaining about the blood.

I am happy because when I was very young the world of petty humans tried to destroy me and I found the best way to survive was to walk away from them with a hearty FUCK OFF. To embrace the silence of a singular mind. But also to understand why they did what they did. Why so many petty cruelties and pointless rules and illusions were so important to them. I am happy because it defies them and all they stand for.

Quarm Level 6 Apr 16, 2019
3

Uhhh....I actually have asked this on multiple occasions.

3

Hell no. If I was happy I would not be as motivated. Happy is something pretentious christians often claim to be, but it is usually a stage appearance at best. I have moments when I am happy, but over-all, hell no. I can't be happy when I see what is happening to the earth in general, and look at the direction humanity has taken, the wars for profit, the murdering military industrial complex that continues with impunity, ignorant politicians who pretend to represent us, but are really in it for the corporations and their own greed, and the whole fucking thing looking like a train with no brakes headed for a broken bridge over a canyon . . . . Our government is turning the world into a shithole, and anyone who is "happy" is not seeing the whole picture, or simply prefers to stick their head in the sand. It is the discontent that I have with the world that motivates me to do what I can to change it, even if my efforts are futile . . . . defy the gods, and by the way, fuck the gods too.

THHA Level 7 Apr 15, 2019
3

That is a highly subjective and personal question. If anyone were to ask me this, I'd ask, "About what?"

3

At moments of escapism, yeah. Overall with my situation, almost never.

2

Yeah, I know. Listen, my advice to you: you take that money you've been collecting for your parish and go get yourself a nice dress. You know? Fix yourself up. Find some man, find some woman, that you can connect with, even for a moment. 'Cause that's really all that life is, Sister. A series of moments. Why don't you seize yours?
~ Loki (From the movie Dogma)

2

I'm happy 80% of the time but not delirious.

2

Occasionally...and working on it 😎

2

You think people really care?

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