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Is he just not into me?

I went on a date with a guy from here. We had a really great time and he seemed very eager to go on a second date. That second date never happened nor have I heard from him again. I keep going over and over in my head what went wrong but nothing went wrong. Is he just not into me? Does anyone else hate not knowing what happened?

SonderOpia 8 Mar 7
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47 comments (26 - 47)

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2

How's about you just call him.

For what, though?

To grovel? To try to convince him that he is passing up the best thing that could possibly ever have happened to him?

Seriously, call him for what?

@BlueWave Well, to know for certain. I think it is better than having constant thoughts wondering what if.

@kollector79 I believe she already knows. He has shown he has a character frailty in terms of effective and honest communication -- no matter what his reason is. He has shown that she is not important to him, right?

Kollector, if you were INTO somebody, would you make sure that second date happened? Regardless of when the date could take place, if you were INTO somebody, would you call, text or e-mail to let them know you are still looking forward to a second date?

2

Frustration I know. Obvious answer is he is not interested in taking things any further, for whatever reason.

2

How long since the first? It seems like he might have ghosted. I'm sorry that happened to you. He may have sensed no real chemistry, or had whatever other reason, but whatever the case, he should have been honest with you how he felt if he wasn't interested. You're better off with someone with a sincere heart.

2

It's ghosting and it happens more often than not. And judging just by my own experiences and never gets easier when people don't have the decency to at least tell you they're not interested. It hurts way more this way yet so many people say " Oh Ive done that a few times.."

Yup, those who have done the ghosting are lacking in the most fundamental of character attributes - kindness. In my opinion.

1

That just downright sucks. It seems clear that he isn't interested; however, any guy with an ounce of class would have the courtesy to tell you he didn't want to go out again. At the very least, out of respect for you. Sorry this happened.

1

Just be glad you only invested one date. Move on....

1

Forget him. Something just did not mesh.

1

That would bug me too. Happenned to me when I started dating again last year. Just returned from visit with member on west coast. Know we're friends. Still meeting new people.

1

There could be extinuating circumstance that you are unaware of but he should at least contact you for an explanation. If he doesn't contact you, you just write him off as a onetimer. You did say you had a good time so that is a plus for you.

1

Might be married or separated or thinking about it.....nothing whatsoever to do with you!

1

It sucks when someone leaves you hanging like that. Not only is it rude it is a cowardly thing to do. Just be honest with people.

1

What do you have to lose by sending a message and asking how he is, suggesting another date? What is the worst that could happen? He may have ghosted you, he may be shy. How much do you want to know?

I called him and he returned my call but that was 2 days after we were supposed to go on our second date. I told him how I felt, I told him I enjoyed the date and I told him I would like to see him again. He said he was busy with work for now and would get in touch with me. I can assure you he is no longer busy with work and hasn't even taken a second to text me anything and I did ask him to occasionally text something even if it's just hello to let me know he's still interested. I guess he's just not interested.

@SonderOpia His loss sweetie, I'm sorry he put you through this.

1

I had an LTR relationship that ghosted me. Telling me She broke it off when I asked Her what was going on. I would say you may have ducked a person and situation that would not have gone well. This after months of visits, love, sex and even future plans. It put me off dating for over a year. I would leave it be and decline if contacted again.

1

Who knows; may be he likes you but is not ready for a serious relationship.

1

Sounds like he either can't be honest with you or he has a shorter attention span and someone else grabbed his focus. Sorry hun. Just love yourself and move forward <3

1

Hard to tell. I just let then come to me, and if they don't I don't chase

0

Something catastrophic may have happened to him, preventing him from communicating with you, perhaps?

Nope. Turns out he's just a jerk.

0

I like to approach things with little judgement and let nature take it's course (the path of least resistance). With that in mind and to be fair to everyone (including yourself) maybe let go of this. Allow this to have happened with no judgement and no expectations. If you compare and categorize you might be disappointed, this is progress and paving the way for the future you and maybe the future him. Cell phones die, computers crash and life happens, fear gets in the way and judgement often can too, but not for you because you are in the white light of the future discovery of yourself and conscioussness.

He ends up calling me a month later and told me we were going out to lunch and what time and where. Turns out he's just a jerk. It had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I'm not going out with him again. It's a shame because I really liked him.

@SonderOpia Yeah, everything they do will always be about them. That's how others relate to us.

0

I'm sure if you think about it honestly you can figure out what went wrong and yes I'm pretty sure it was your fault.

How is it my fault?

0

Well, you know @SonderOpia ... you ARE a Texan. And you are Euless. Maybe he really needs Eu? I don't know why it might all be about Eu. but it's possible so stop being so selfish and start thinking about Eu. However, I wouldnt call him and ask "Is it me or is it ... Eu?" because that might get confusing. Of course your emotions are at stake but maybe it's just that he truly hates Eu and you're just too convenient for him given your proximity. Maybe he had a bad experience with Eu and his guilt is overwhelming. At this point I am pretty sure it has something to do with Eu.

0

If you're still interested contact him. It's always possible his cell phone died.

He has two cell phones. If both of them died I would be amazed.

0

I like the advice in the book, The Rules, given especially for women with strong male traits, who tend to chase after men, can act needy on dates, and who typically worry about what men think of them, etc.

Your job is let the men be the ones who worry. Let men be the predators; you only react to the ones chasing YOU.
Otherwise, it's "Next!"

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