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Why do people hide their feeling/emotion? How do you let emotion out?

If I like someone I will let them know. If I have a problem with you I tell you in a nice peaceful way. I can control my emotion and my words to a certain extent. Never understood why people who sad on the inside pretend to happy on outside. That not me. What ever emotion I feeling that the emotion I will choose to let out. If you like someone allowed yourself to feel right kind of emotion before it's too late.

Peacefulperson 6 Mar 13
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In my case is cultural; to most Argentinians to show emotions is a sign of low upbringing

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Why?...fear, which can lead to guilt, shame and much more. Bipedal humanoids are bread to be a collective group, not living alone, we need each other. So people want to have people around them, they want to make those people happy and so maybe they hide their sadness to make sure others around them don't get sad. I can think of many reasons people might hide their true feelings, this is just one.

While I agree with the collective group statement, I also think humans are more pack animals than hive creatures, which is what our current social structures encourage. Maybe forcing ourselves into unnatural behaviors affects our ability to garner friends and develop healthy relationships? Just a thought provoked by your statement.

Agreed, we started out very nomadic and the have become more 'settled' as time went on. While I was in Mongolia in 2014, one of the last true 'nomadic nations' I spent time with some awesome people...the next day they were gone.....

@SACatWalker ...wasn't he the postal carrier on Cheers?

@Freespirit64 While many larger cities could be seen as a 'hive', due to economic reasons alone, i.e. all striving for the same goal, like bees, except their 'queen' is greed and security, mostly greed, which is fear based. But there are many cities around the world that are a collection a villages, smaller communities which are more 'pack like' one could say, smaller groups striving toward a similar goal. I fell we all fit best in a certain setting, some people take a long time to discover it, say if they prefer the city over the country. Also people change, their needs change.

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I was taught, at a very early age, to keep my feelings and emotions to myself. It is a lifelong habit.

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One can not control ones emotions. One can only choose to act upon them or not. It is the mature who do this. It is the undeveloped mind that has no self controlling mechanisms. No impulse control. I am vastly more mature than I once was. Challenging myself to grow by choosing what emotions I wish to act upon or not.

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When I was younger, during my first real experience of love - I didnt reveal my feelings to my partner - I thought my feelings were obvious -
my computer keeps crashing and I have to start again - frustrating
But she left me as she thought I didnt care - I didnt understand at the time - I thought my feelings were so obvious, but apparently not - so Id advise people not to keep their feelings to themselves to make their feelings known to others - as it can cost you if you don't share your feelings - I still regret my actions even though they were a long long time ago!

Dommy Level 3 Mar 18, 2018
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I hid my emotions because I was made fun of for having them by everyone. I laughed and cried "too much". So, that stopped.

velk Level 4 Mar 13, 2018
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I let my emotions out with words. Used to use actions, get angry. Don't do that any more. Wasted time and energy.

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I didn't hide them. I misplaced them, and just like my keys I'm not sure where to look.

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It's about trust for many, and often ties in with insecurities of one sort or another, such as fear of rejection or invalidation.

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I'm very open and always express my feelings. I don't believe this is always been a good thing. I think I could've developed some very special relationships if I just kept some of my thoughts to myself. I also think people don't express their emotions sometimes out of fear of rejection. I was that way when I was young. When I got older, I just don't care what people think. If I like you I'm going to tell you!

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It’s kinda hard for men of my generation to show their feelings. We were still taught that the only acceptable emotions to express is happy or angry. And don’t be to happy. I’m getting better at showing my emotions but it’s not easy. I’m trying not to teach my son to be like that.

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If you are dealing with a controlling and manipulative person, the more you eveal your emotions, the the more tools you give that person to play "mind'fuck" games with you.

tru dat, 'Energy Vampires', 'Sociopaths' and 'Psychopaths'...

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Certain emotions such as anger are difficult to control, and the loss of control may lead to behavior that is contray to our normal beliefs, compeling us to act irrationally, as in a fit of rage.

  1. What is the state of mind of an angry person
  2. Why are some people more prone to anger
  3. What grounds anger

Aristotle though these categories apply to all emotions and that self control is a virtue which can be taught

cava Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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Showing feelings and emotions to others is revealing weaknesses. I'm an emotional person because I'm an empath. It's hard for me to shut my emotions off. I can hide them if I'm dealing with a person I don't know very well or I despise.

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A person who is emotional is not rational. If a person is not rational, nothing they say or do has any validity. A person who must exprees their emotions is a weak person...anoying to be around.

@Dispirited In this rare case, serious. I am a high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome person. I cannot relate to emotion...only logic.

Emotions can be a good telltale sign that a situation is not right for you. That's not always a bad thing. People can be rude and downright criminal, it's the way you deal with that that counts. I think standing up for yourself in an appropriate way is good, on the whole.

@girlwithsmiles I don't stand-up for myself...I just kill and eat them evidently 🙂

@SACatWalker "My victim"?! I don't "victimize" them, I ostracize them from my life.

How rational of you! Oh the freedom to kill and eat people whose emotions annoyed me..but of course they would have to express them first. Those weak communicators...conversation lapses into silliness (rather than apparently the highly regarded logic) I feel. AT least Hannibal Lector enjoyed his prey, passion, emotion...rationality, it's all an objective game really.

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I hide my emotions only in so much as not wanting to piss you off and make you want to fight. No need for that. I can get my point across and if I do not agree with you I tell you so. I do not shoot guns for recreation to keep my anger inside or control it. I do not hold grudges (real or imagined) against anyone. (Well, wait. Maybe at Trump.) I do not wake up in the night hating Charlie or Susie.
I let my emotions out by just doing normal things that I like. No need to pull legs off insects or kill animals. Nothing hiding inside that wants to shoot adults or school children. I'm not worried that you are "against me" or "planning something" that might involve me. Maybe that's because I do not live in that kind of world.

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I am quite a bit older than you and have learned this over the years: live your life with your arms wide open. That is a metaphor for not hiding your feelings, not pretending and not playing a role to get an advantage. As a consequence of this, I am not powerful, not rich, not feared. I am beloved and admired and sleep well at night.

Wonderful...

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Because people fear being judged,institutionalized and ridiculed. So people will hold in their emotions as a defense mechanism. Best thing for people do is find a network of friends and family that can all come together and help one another with no strings attached.

MJP84 Level 3 Mar 13, 2018
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I have D.I.D I'm pretty immediate with my feelings, but have never grieved for people who died, I wondered if it was coming from an abusive family that made me not care about death -

How interesting that you don't grieve for people who die. I never thought of it before but I don't either.
But do people grieve for the loved one or the loss of that loved one in their life? Death is a process scientifically and the dying let go of their attachment to this world and their feelings. I grieve for life not death. I grieve for all the people in pain, who reject others that share their feelings, who do not treat others as they would want to be treated, who believe in a vengeful god and follow that vengeance like a path to purity.
I love this conversation, feelings. No one ever talks about their feelings in a healthy way and when they do so around inauthentic people it drives a cold icicle into the middle of the room. Like many of you, I can't hide a feeling on my face even after decades of therapy. I've gotten to the point that I isolate from people from so much rejection. I moved to a new area of the country, and as a lesbian I am bowled over at how little the community allows each other to be genuine or have beliefs other than theirs. I made one "friend" and was rejected due to my disbelief in god.
People don't want to be reminded that they have feelings. When you share yours, I think it is too overwhelming for others to look at them, to have compassion for your feelings, to actively listen because they hide so many of their own secrets and fears.

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I'm very emotional.

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Let out a good cry everyonce in awhile 😀. Pretending honestly always made me sadder.

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Insecurity. they feel insecure so they tend not to let others in for fear they will be harmed.

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From my POV have seen people who are repressed because they were forced to "squish" their feelings. Their feelings were invalidated or they were punished for them somehow.
It can start in early childhood. "Don't cry" after a kid bumping their head or getting scared , etc, instead of letting a kid have their feelings and talking them through with them some who aren't equipped or willing to bother would rather just shut the kid up and it carries into adulthood.

@Stacey48 Exactly. My niece's mother does this to her girl. It's awful. Yes the kid is a genius but she's still a little girl FFS.

Yes. This. Me. Sigh...

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