I have come to the conclusion that there is no god and I'm not sure how to tell my mom that. Does anyone have advice on how to 'come out' to her?
A few qestions first, and I ask this because I am a mom and likely old enough to be your grandmother. Tell us about your mom? Is she super faithful or a CE christian (CE=Christmas/Easter, goes to church only on "holy days' And if a christian what denomination? Is she pretty laid back or is she a helicopter? Are you financially dependent upon her? How has she reacted to other challenges in the past? Is their a friend or relative you can bounce this off of before you talk to mom, get their perspective on how mom will react? What is the very worst case scenario that can happen? Are you close to your mom? Does it NEED to be now, or can it wait until you're out of HS and college and on your own? I was close to my kids and they told me lots, but I'm a laid back kind of mom anyway. Their dad they didn't tell so much cuz he's pretty tightly wound. If you think this is going to rock the boat in any way, approach with caution. And good luck.
If religion is super important to her, there is no reason to tell her if you don't want to. If you do want to tell her and think she might kick you out, then wait until you're independent and moved out. No point in creating unnecessary drama.
Too many parents harm their kids, either emotionally or physically, when they find out those kids aren't carbon copies of themselves. A friend of mine was kicked out of his house in his teens for being gay, by his pastor father and mother. Unsurprisingly, his father was gay.
You haven't provided enough information. A lot would depend upon what your relationship with your mom is like. How "devout" a believer is she? How old are you? You mentioned waiting until being financially independent in your poll, do you think she'd throw you out, or stop helping to support you? You need to give more information before anyone can really give you any kind of advice.
At your age, you should not risk you well being, home or education for your religious identity. It is hard to hold your tongue but that is what you might just have to do for now.
Check out recoveringfromreligion.org. They have a phone line and an online chat service with agents who will listen and can provide some resources. The site also have trained counselors who are secular called (of all things) the Secular Therapy Project if you need to get real advice.
There are YouTube videos about coming out atheist, blogs, books, etc. The above reference is safe and anonymous, talk to someone.
For a very long time I held my tongue when it came to my atheism. Mostly because I don't like it when born agains try to push their religion on me, also it's no ones buisness what my beliefs are. Finally, it's your Mom (hopefully) she will love you no matter what.
It doesn't make you any less her daughter if you think free.
If you're ever going to love me love me now, while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings which from real affection flow.
Love me now, while I am living; do not wait till I am gone
And then chisel it in marble — warm love words on ice-cold stone.
If you've dear, sweet thoughts about me, why not whisper them to me?
Don't you know 'twould make me happy and as glad as glad could be?
If you wait till I am sleeping, ne'er to waken here again,
There'll be walls of earth between us and I couldn't hear you then.
If you knew someone was thirsting for a drop of water sweet
Would you be so slow to bring it? Would you step with laggard feet?
There are tender hearts all round us who are thirsting for our love;
Why withhold from them what nature makes them crave all else above?
I won't need your kind caresses when the grass grows o'er my face;
I won't crave your love or kisses in my last low resting place.
So, then, if you love me any, if it's but a little bit,
Let me know it now while living; I can own and treasure it.
If you are under their roof, might be best to hold off, but if you are already on your own it is entirely up to you if you want to tell her. Are you especially close with your mom? Is she super religious, where it's part of everything she does, or is she more like most, just a person that happens to believe in god, otherwise going on with her life?
If you are on your own, and they pester you about church or whatever else, that could be an opening to explain that you don't believe anymore.
I'd definitely wait until you're financially independent unless you're certain your mother won't flip out, disown you, and kick you out of the house (or cut off funding for school, or whatever your financial situation is). But I'd eventually be open about it, because expectations that you'll participate in religious activities when you visit can put a lot of stress on your relationship and she wouldn't even know why there's tension. Of course your situation might be different from anything in my experience, so only you can decide whether it's best to come out about your irreligion and what her reaction likely would be (e.g., if she's a member of a church that shuns apostates or she's otherwise critical of people who left the church). Good luck to you.
At 18yrs old you need to figure out if you can afford to move out-are you sureit will come to that?
I left home in HS at 18 but moved back before Graduation which enabled me to let my parents send me to college.Do you need her approval? Can you talk to her? My parents and I had an unhealthy relationship. Need to think things out.
There doesn't have to be a big drum roll and a ta-da! moment. Just let it ride and if your mum is a devout something or other and asks you about your faith (or apparent lack of it) just say you have questions that you're trying/struggling to find the answers to. It doesn't have to be a confrontational moment, it can be a gradual process.
My mom and I have never had that conversation. She however knows that I am entirely to logical to be swayed by some inane ideologies. Would almost bet your mom knows and refuses to accept or she thinks she can partially sway your opinion to her way of thinking. Moms seem to have a broken record in that department.
I am bisexual and have some extremely religious people in my family... The best thing to do first, is to probe them with questions. For instance... bring up an lgbt related issue from a news article in a conversation about current events. Carefully observe how they respond. Depending on the individual you might need to do this a few times to get a good sense of where they stand on the issue. Once you know the layout of the land, it will be much easier to determine who is safest to come out to first. Unless of course you get an extremely negative reaction, in which case you should definitely not, and seriously consider having a back up plan.
Its a hard question ot answer because we don't really know what you r mum is like and how she might act. My mother and father were not religious at all so there were not any expectations on me - Given that I don't know her, I'd go with move away and then tell her in a really nice letter including how much you love and respect her but need to live your own life adn live with your own choices.
Don't do it! I randomly "came out" when I was about 15 or 16. My mom suspected but we never talked about it. I think I spilled something or broke something, and my mom was like "see, god doesn't like ugly" and I responded with "well, I don't believe in that", then I called myself an atheist (the first time I had ever said it aloud). It did not go over well. Next thing I knew I was forced to go to church every Sunday, read the bible, she made me tithe and threatened to make me join the choir. Luckily, college got me out of that house and away from her born-again hypocrisy. If you're not financially independent, she could always force you to do the same. Her house, her rules.
You are 18 years old and living in your mother's home, ask yourself what would be the consequences of coming out at this time? You know your mother better than any of us here, how will she react? Will she be sad or disappointed or will she understand that you have the right to be your own person or will she completely lose it? At this time you likely have plans for your future that include the need for parental support, waiting awhile isn't going to cause you to change your mind but you may not want to change your path to your future.