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For the last time, don't ask a stranger "What are you?"

"As a biracial person...I have fielded this inquisition — “So what are you?” — several hundred times," Jordan Carter wrote. "It’s not as though the topic wasn’t already on my mind. I’ve been acutely aware of my own racial identity every single day of my life, as I imagine is the case for many minorities.

"I have most certainly felt the otherness that comes from feeling too white for some spaces, too black for others. People have felt free to comment on my otherness, too. “Oreo” was a nickname used so frequently in my youth that it became, in a warped way, a term of endearment."

[huffpost.com]

My daughter Claire is half-Latina and half-white. Claire is tired of being pestered with the question, "What are you?" Claire was also called an "Oreo" in school. It is hurtful to be treated as an "other," that you don't belong.

Photos:

  1. Claire, 6-1/2, was a gypsy for Halloween. Sick of taking pictures.

  2. Claire, 29, married Matt, 34, at Lake Chelan in Sept. 2018.

LiterateHiker 9 July 23
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30 comments

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6

Homo Sapien. Our species comes in all colors, shapes, sizes, intelligence, beliefs, hopes and dreams, and countless other flavors and attributes.

5

On a Viking trip through Europe I asked a couple if we could join them for lunch. It was a mixed couple, white husband and Asian wife. I thought she might be Vietnamese and when we introduced ourselves I recognized her given name as Vietnamese and when I mentioned "so you're Vietnamese". That lead to much we had in common as I travel often through and have spent some time in VN and SE Asia. We became good friends with many stories and good times. Sometimes it's a good thing.

I agree with you, my wife is Asian and we get that too, in a friendly way!

5

I am an ethnic Cracker.

4

I only ask that when stalking through the fog and something appears through an alternate universe portal. "What are you?" <flicks selector switch on rifle to full auto>..... 👽

4

I am half Polish, 1/4 Norman English, 1/8 Danish, and 1/8 Swedish. Inasmuch as I am a mongrel and interested in my ethnic origins, I have never felt it an insult to be asked and am often interested in other people's origins. It seems that the people who may be offended are those whose ethnicity are those who have been subjected to prejudice. Heard any good Polock jokes lately? 🙂

4

Beautiful daughter!

3

Well, yeah, that question. Too many times I get treated to the guessing game as to what I am. If someone asks me what I am, I just say Canadian? Then they ask, "I mean, where are you from?". I say, "I'm from here". Then they ask, "No, I mean, before that". I say, "Vancouver/Burnaby, BC". I really hate people calling me "exotic". When in Mexico, the locals think I'm Mexican. Someone called me a "Mayan Princess" once. I was at a pottery gallery at a pueblo in New Mexico and the gallery owner asked if I were a potter also and what tribe I was from. If people don't keep reminding me I'm "different" and a "minority", I would see myself as no more than just an ordinary Canadian.

You’re not different...just not the same as everyone else.

@bubaj50 I look different enough to some people obviously to compel them to tell me I’m different in one way or another. People either assume I’m so different I’m not one of them or I look like one of them therefore I must be one of them.

3

I can tell you what your daughter is. She's bloody gorgeous.

3

Our son was asked that once and he replied, "What do you mean?"
The girl pointed as his arm and said, "You're skin's kinda brown."
He shrugged and said, "And my shirt's purple." And went back to playing.
He's sensitive about a lot of things, but never been about that. He's a mix of a lot of things and we've always told him it was the best of each.

3

This is actually a question I've really never thought of asking.I guess my parents did a better job than I actually thought for a lot of years.

@Fred_Snerd yeah my parents basically told us everybody's people I have a sister-in-law that is from Taiwan, planet Earth she was welcomed into the family with open arms.

3

Millennials (Claire's generation) are the most racially diverse generation in U.S. history.

They are the children of liberal Baby Boomers.

[nbcnews.com]

3

Hateful

bobwjr Level 10 July 23, 2019
2

Here's some. "Go back to where you came from". Answer: I came from over there. That was just before I got here.
"What are you"? Answer: Human, what are you? "You should stay with your own kind". Answer; Yeah, I prefer Earthlings. "I don't go out with minorities". Then would you at least then get out?

2

A guy a work one asked me "do you have some foreign blood?"
WTF? Why would someone need foreign blood? Are you a foreign vampire?

2

I think think we are all a mix of many Dan's. In other words not many are 100% of anything, except human. We are all of the human species. Society has decided to separate us on our outward colors.
I for one identify as human on all applications that ask for my ethnicity. I am Human.
And if someone dares or cares to ask I say I'm a human. They can put me in a category but I put myself in the human category.

2

We'll have truly overcome racism when it doesn't even cross our minds anymore.

2

Very handsome couple . It's such a shame , truly interested people are also crititized , for being interested.

@Cast1les

Try walking in their shoes. What you call "interested" is tiresome and tone deaf.

Claire's father Terry is a retired art teacher and tennis coach. Terry was upset when the vice-principal called him a "wetback." Terry is an American citizen.

Since 2006, as a volunteer college mentor, I have helped low income, first generation students write essays for college and scholarship applications. Their stories of countless racist slurs by classmates are horrific.

"You smell like tortillas," a boy said to Teresa in the hallway in middle school. "Is that all you Mexicans eat?" All the kids laughed.

"My face was on fire and my heart burst into flames," Teresa said. "I ran to the bathroom to cry. They were my classmates. I thought they were my friends."

"You don't belong in AP classes," a boy told Teresa in high school. "You dad is a gardener. Mexicans are dumb and lazy."

"We won't play with you because your skin in brown," girls told Brenda in kindergarten.

I asked Wenatchee School District board members to address racist bullying in the schools. They refused, saying teachers are overloaded and cannot patrol hallways between classes.

Photos:

Working with Teresa, 2014

In June 2018, I took thee young women I previously mentored on a short hike around beautiful Icicle Gorge, WA.

I would ask how interested you are in white people's background and how interested others are in yours? White people aren't generally asked casually about their family heritage even though they are often mixed between many different nationalities as well. Inquiring about other people's heritage sends the subtle message that they are different and aren't part of the group. If it was widespread for everyone, it would be a different matter but since it is people with non-white skin tones only, it sends messages of exclusion.

2

What an awful way to ask a stupid question. "What are you" almost sounds as if you are doubting the person is a human being. My grandson is adopted from Guatemala, people were unbelievably stupid with their questions. First of all, what does it matter what heritage you are.

2

"Human. What are YOU?
Were you not taught manners as a child?"

I've said it more than once, in response to being asked, and in response to having heard it asked of another.
My ethnicity, nor anyone else's, is none of anyone's business. It rude to even ask.

2

Racial, Religious, Ethnic, and Sexual identities are exploited to manipulate people to favor the manipulators. Just be a human being.

@nicknotes

I don't understand your reply. What do you mean?

The manipulators are constantly dividing people into groups...white, black...Jew, Christian...Irish, Italian ...straight , gay... and then turn these groups against others who are not members of the group. By exploiting differences the manipulators keep the common people from uniting against their real enemy...the 0ne percenters who have all the nation's wealth while the rest of us fight over the crumbs.... @LiterateHiker

1

Very beautiful

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 14, 2019
1

Your daughter is beautiful!

I've experienced this to an extent. I was born in another country, and get questions/comments semi-often regarding where I was born because I apparently "look exotic."

Sometimes they'll ask where I'm from, and when I tell them I spent most of my life in NY, they kind of pause. Sometimes they'll say, "oh, really?" And sometimes they'll outright ask if that's where I was born. Very few outright ask me what my actual ethnic background is, even though I know that's what they wanna ask.

How about background absolutely beautiful and fuck off

I am 1/4 Cherokee so who cares

1

I remember as a kid watching a film called "The Half Breed" and thinking that was me! It was the first time I felt cool about being mixed race. Now 4 decades later I still feel cool haha 🙂

Nardi Level 7 July 26, 2019
1

See Claire grabbing my garnet necklaces? She broke them! Her daddy found the scattered beads and had them restrung. That's the last time I let her wear my jewelry for Halloween.

1

What a beautiful little girl..

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