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How old were you when you got married for the first time?

"For many people, regardless of sexual orientation, a wedding is no longer the first step into adulthood that it once was, but, often, the last. It is a celebration of all that two people have already done, unlike a traditional wedding, which was a celebration of what a couple would do in the future.

Consistent with this shift in meaning, different-sex couples, like the many of the same-sex couples who have married recently, are starting their marriages later in their lives. According to the Census Bureau, the median age at first marriage—the age at which half of all marriages occur—was 27.4 for women and 29.5 for men in 2017. That’s higher than at any time since the Census began keeping records in 1890."

[theatlantic.com]

VictoriaNotes 9 Mar 24

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92 comments

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3

I was 28. Divorced 22 years later....

13

I don't know yet. Don't rush me!

skado Level 8 Mar 24, 2018

LOL

9

I'm currently 40, single, never been married, and haven't gone on a date since 2005.

The smartest amongst us indeed

@Hutch So, you regret getting married?

@VictoriaNotes no regrets. I liked marriage, well, what it brought. I would do it again...sans the ceremony

@VictoriaNotes would u do it again?

@Hutch Yes. There's no use in wasting the valuable life lessons I gained from the past experiences, not to mention that I am no longer a believer having to conform to roles and rules that hinder and strain relationships.

@VictoriaNotes so...will you marry me 2moro? LoL

@Hutch Awww ?☺️?

@Hutch I have no idea how smart it was to make it to my age without a significant other, but I can tell you it makes for some lonely evenings and weekends.

@icolan I feel you on that...

8

I was 29, he was 40. I guess I was late to the game, but I've often thought it was good that I had time to focus only on myself before committing to being a couple. I think the trend in the article is a positive one.

I've lived through many of the same-sex marriage reasons via my brother. We fought so long for same sex marriage but there was a point where his attitude was,"Fuck it. We don't need their damn license to make us a couple." However, he proposed at a family dinner, and they married on the 25th anniversary of their partnership (so both over 50). I suspect that the vast majority of couples at the wedding had not been together nearly that long.

Thank you for sharing the pictures. So heartwarming. 🙂 I agree, the trend is a positive one. Divorce has also declined according to the article.

@VictoriaNotes Imagine a world where everyone got married to the person they really wanted to be with, whenever they chose to commit, regardless of the strictures of race, religion, and age? Or whether or not they were pregnant? We could probably get the divorce rate down to 5% or so.

8

I was much older than average - 37!

Jnei Level 8 Mar 24, 2018

You're right in step with the Scandinavia/Nordic countries. In the article it states:

"In Norway and Sweden, a majority of the population marries, but weddings often take place long after a couple starts to have children, or even after all of their children are born. The median age at first marriage in Norway is an astounding 39 for men and 38 for women, according to a recent estimate—six to eight years higher than the median age at first childbirth."

The question is asked: "Why do they even bother to marry at such a late stage of their unions?"

"Norwegians told researchers that they view marriage as a way to demonstrate love and commitment and to celebrate with relatives and friends the family they have constructed. This is capstone marriage: The wedding is the last brick put in place to finally complete the building of the family."

@VictoriaNotes I like this way better!

@kensmile4u So do I. It's so much more romantic. LOL You know for sure that you are getting married for love, and not because you were duped by your neurochemicals.

@VictoriaNotes Another bonus is your kids get to be in the wedding. Imagine how much of an impression that will make on them about love and life. Wow....

@kensmile4u For sure.

7

43 and still single. Never gotten close to marriage. I used to think there was something wrong with me. I don’t think that...as often.

7

My first marriage happened way too young. I was 28 with a maturity level of an eight year old. I think I've finally caught up with my age.

7

I was 17, my ex was 21. We made it work for almost 20 years.

7

All of 22… With ‘single daughters’ both older than that, I’ve let them know how pleased I am.. Their mother had been 19 ..nearly children ~

Varn Level 8 Mar 24, 2018
7

20 years old... 1st last and only...

6

21 and 58 years later going strong even though both parents did not approve and they gave us 6 mos at most. We had $87 between us.

6

I don’t remember, maybe 24 or 25. Not doing that shit again.

6

I was 19, in the Army, got married in Leominster, Mass by a JP that was also an undertaker. He was 28, the marriage lasted less than 2 years. When I married the father of my children I was 25.

6

I was very very young, just turned 19, and pregnant. Lasted 2 yrs, doomed from the onset.

5

I'd been 16 a month and a half. My husband was 18 and turned 19 a month later. 6 1/2 of the longest years of my life. I was widowed at 22 with a 5 year old and a 4 year old.

Wow, I'm sorry for your loss. It had to be very difficult with having 2 small children. I was widowed at 27 with an infant. My grandmother was widowed in her 20's with two small children. She remarried several years later and had 3 more children only to be widowed again in her 40's. She never remarried after that.

@VictoriaNotes It's actually the nicest thing he ever did for me. He was abusive and couldn't keep a job either. After he died I had a steady income I could count on.

5

26
One of the many mistakes in my life.

5

I was 20 and we were married 33 years before we got divorced. It was too young IMO.

5

I was 24. I realize now I was too young. I would advise anyone to acomplish some goals and experience some failures first. Get to know who you are and what is best for you.

5

...and, how old were you?

Hutch Level 7 Mar 24, 2018

As I told Rugglesby below, I was 20+ but had been independent, self-sufficient and on my own for 2 years before I married.

4

I was first married at age 18. She was 19. It was 1981. We had been sexually active for about a year, and on my 18th birthday went camping. My father sternly warned us to be careful, assuming we would be engaging in sexual activity at the campsite. Doing it at home was one thing. Doing it in a public area was quite another. He was concerned because the news in Wisconsin included the story of an unmarried couple in the Sheboygan area who were caught having sex and arrested for it. It was technically illegal in Wisconsin at the time for an unwed couple to have sex, but the law was not generally enforced. I don't remember why they dropped the hammer on this couple.

Anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant with my daughter. Wanting to do the right thing, I married her that summer. We had a second child, my son, a couple of years later, but by that time the marriage was already in serious trouble. She would go back to Pennsylvania for months on end to be with her family, typically at the behest of her mother, who hated me and seemed to blame me for getting her daughter pregnant. Whenever she went to "visit" her family, I was never sure whether or not she would return. Married, to a woman who is half ghost, with two kids that I barely know because they're spending so much time in Pennsylvania.

I finally called bullshit on the whole thing and filed for divorce. 5 1/2 years after my first marriage, my first divorce was final. I figured divorce would at least result in a court order that would let me see my kids, but it didn't exactly work out that way. Although I always kept up with my court ordered child support, she never lived up to her end of the visitation order, so I still didn't get to see my kids very much.

I'm so sorry.

4

Not old enough.I was 24,but obviously lacked the maturity for such a decision.Even so,the marriage lasted 20 yrs.

4

25 in 1990... Divorced two months before my 30th birthday.

4

21...

Hutch Level 7 Mar 24, 2018
4

20 years and about 8 weeks in 1979.
Pretty young given 1970 was my last year of primary school.

I was 20, too, but had been independent, self-sufficient and on my own for 2 years before I married. That was also in the late 70's.

That’s the same thing I did in 79 ..with only a couple years on you..

@VictoriaNotes Wait.......You were 20 in the late 70s? You don't look more than 40 in your picture.

@paul1967 Well, I look more than 40, but I'm flattered. I'm 60, but no one has ever been able to guess my age IRL, lol. I do have centenarian genes from both sides. I did have my age listed on my profile up until about a month ago, but apparently (after admin made some changes) if one is listed as being here for community, the age listing was dropped.

4

I was 25 when I married for the first time, in 1962.

3

I was 31 but only got married so that we could legally live together. We were living in Dubai, U.A.E. at the time. Dubai can be quite strict when they can be bothered. We didn't want to get into any trouble with the police for being unmarried and living together. If we were living anywhere else where it wasn't such a big deal, I doubt we would've ever married. We are separated now...lol...

That's quite a unique story, and I think it was a wise move to get married considering your environmental circumstances.

There are quite a lot of couples in the gulf who have no choice but to get married if they want to live with each other. My brother and his wife got married more or less for the same reason however they are still together after 15 years. Though they too would not have got married in a rush if they had the choice.

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