For years, I have been trying to clean up my potty mouth. I blame my old boyfriend, Willy, who swore like a sailor. Bad influence.
Note I have not used swear words in my posts and comments. So far.
At my friend Cheryl's house (a Baptist minister and counselor), I used the bathroom. No toilet paper. "Some jackass left an empty roll," I thought, "probably Dave." (her husband)
Sitting on the can, I stretched to get toilet paper out of the cupboard way in the back, of course.
"The toilet paper holder spring went 'Sprong!' and it exploded apart all over the room," I told Cheryl. "What did you say?" she asked.
"Motherfucker!" I replied. She laughed.
I used to have/wear a shirt that said "how dare I wear this God damned shirt infront of your F'***ing kids". Swearing makes you sound like an idiot but then again where is the harm? Its just words
I heard a Carlin interview (so long ago that I don't remember the specific words) where he described why he used colorful language in his routines.
He said he did it carefully for emphasis. His wording was chosen purposely -- to communicate.
Obscene language doesn't bother me at all. Ignorant language annoys me.
People who swear constantly -- fucking this, fucking that -- because that's the best they can do to express themselves disappoint me and I have to admit they lose standing in my eyes.
An exclamation reaction to a surprising or ironic event isn't necessarily improper. It depends on what you're trying to communicate and to whom.
Language is for communication. Conveying the message to the intended audience is what's important -- not the exact words.
I visited Boeing for a fairly high level presentation years ago. There were several million dollars salary around the room.
The speaker happened to use the word 'irregardless' and somebody stood up to interrupt and say that wasn't a word. The speaker handled it perfectly.
They asked for a show of hands in the room if there was anyone who thought they didn't understand what he said. Of course no one raised their hand. 'Apparently it is too a word. Sit down.'
WTF are you talking about?
There's an option not to swear? Now I fucking find out.
I could never do that, nor would I want to. I know how to pick my crowd, but I would never stop. I am very suspicious of people who never swear.
I've never tried except at work. No cursing around the patients and kept to a whisper so not to be picked up by the microphones when we're alone.
It’s a pediatric clinic for speech, OT and PT. The entire place, except the bathroom, has video cameras.
I've learned to give a little discretion around some people.
But for the most part, I really have no desire to stop.
I believe I get that from my grandmother oddly enough. As a kid she used to teach me bad words in Italian.
However, that was also met with 'do not tell any one where you heard this'.from her as well.
When we used to have any family gatherings. and things got heated, which was usually the case after eating, and the drinking began. When voices got raised, the language would shift to Italian. That's how I knew they were swearing.
Some of my fondest memories.
Swearing is no big deal to my generation... keep it out of the workplace or professional settings of course. But other than that, let er rip. We even have abbreviations for our swearing like OMFG (oh my fckng god) or WTF (what the fck).
Not going to stop!
Oh, for Darwin's sake, don't stop altogether.
I believe it is polite to gear the outrageousness of your speech to no more than slightly more vile than the perceived sensibilities of your audience. Of course, this is a matter of opinion about manners.
However, I believe it's generally accepted by psychologists and linguists that swearing relieves stress. For instance, I'm an old man who lives alone. As a result, most of my swearing is not heard by other people. My swearing is generally aimed at the little accidents in life and releases my frustration. Dropping an egg on the floor during breakfast preparation really deserves a comment. The stress relief is not at a level that quite makes me whole again (and it certainly does not make the egg whole again), but it does release some of my frustration. Often, I continue swearing during the cleanup. It’s fucking comforting.
I teach my kids all the words in the english language. when the oldest swore in front of me, it was inappropriately done and we discovered a teaching moment. So I told my son that swearing was ok but only if he understood when and when not. We then discussed these times and how strong of a word he could use. Actually, he led the discussion mostly. After that, he swore appropriately. Maybe you should do the same with a trusted friend...
@Purplefool I did much the same with my daughter. They start doing it out of our hearing at a very young age, and I hated the hypocrisy of restricting it, so I implemented the context rule. As soon as she swore in school or in front of my parents, restrictions would be implemented. We've never had a problem with it. I had a similar rule for the kids who hung out/lived at my house: I wouldn't police them and they knew their parent's rules, so I left it to their discretion. I think it was one of the ways that open communication was maintained between us.
Mmm what purpose does stopping serve, where do those judgements come from. As a rare swearer I’m intrigued about why you feel uncomfortable?
My first thought was, why would you want to?
@LiterateHiker Both of my daughter's made the same comment to me, however I was not mortified.
@LiterateHiker you feel that your daughter’s comment was a negative comment about your parenting?
There are no perfect parents, but there are, ‘good enough’, parents.
The fact that you care so much about your daughter’s opinion would indicate to me that you’d probably meet Winnicott’s definition of a good enough mother
@LiterateHiker You are an amazing, involved, and conscientious parent, with a life-long intimate relationship with your daughter. Who other than you to expose her to familiarity with swearing?
Thank you, Lauren. Claire has been extremely articulate since an early age.
Her dad swears at other drivers. I don't do that.
I have enjoyed all your thoughtful and sometimes humoures answers ,,No reason not to stop swearing,like anything else used in moderation and select surroundings go for,I believe there is a few study's out that say it is actually good for you to do now and again, Not so much in which words you actually use but the overall results it releases a lot of internal stress and frustration and lets people know how you are really feeling ,hopefully they get the hint
This is a great story, not the predicament that you were in but the last line literally made me laugh uncontrollably. I have read a lot of your posts and find them entertaining but when I read the last line in this one I just lost it. Thank you for making me laugh.
Yesterday my lovely son-in-law Matt accidentally sent me an insulting text intended for his brother. I knew it wasn't for me. "Matt dear, this is Kathleen Miller, Claire's mother," I replied, amused. "Why did you call me 'one of the most ignorant people ever'?"
"Omg!!!!!!!!!!!! That was to my brother, " Matt texted. "My brother was using my credit card to buy tickets, and he bought really expensive ones."
"At least Matt didn't swear," I texted Claire. "Haha yes! He was mortified!" she replied.
To help them feel better, I told her this funny story.
I swear like a sailor most of the time.
People who have gotten to now me know that as long as I am talking to myself and swearing everything is O,K, As soon as this stops I usually need to go to the hospital.
I wish to strongly thank everyone who responded to this conversation . Since I chose not to be around those who , as noted here , have a potty mouth , and this is a dating site , I can easily block , all those who love their potty mouth , and we will both be well served . Thanks again !
I think it should all be with your taste. Obviously you know where you don't want to make people uncomfortable. If you want to completely stop, just assume EVERYONE gets uncomfortable with it. See if it sticks...
Personally, I think everything has a time in place and language is how we describe it. Some people describe it with a lot of words, some describe it with a few, and some of us use colorful words. I tell my kids there are no bad words, but certainly bad intentions. Although my kids hear me swear from time to time, it doesn't garner a large reaction. Ironically, it does stand out to them because the one will turn certain songs with swearing off, if they know I'm around (I've never reprimanded music like that), so it still seems odd to me.
What's the motivation to stop expletives?
My guess would be to be more "lady-like" especially around her religious friends where being lady like is expected if not demanded.
Sometimes there are no other words to describe something.
It offends me when ignorant, loudmouth guys blare the "F" word in public. It shows their stupidity and rudeness.
At the local college, loud young males gathered between classes at the central fountain. Posturing, they bellowed the "F" word constantly.
I asked one young man to stop swearing loudly; it offended me. He respectfully apologized.