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Friends trying to "save" me!!

So just wondering....Do any of you have friends or family who continuously try to "save" you by sending or giving you religious material, or sending highly religious cards with handwritten notes of God's message? Easter's a tough one!!! Ughhhhhhhh!! I have two very dear friends who do this to me all the time. They know my views very well. I find it to be rude and disrespectful of my belief system. Any advice on how to handle? It's beginning to make me angry ?

freetobeme9117 4 Mar 31
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29 comments

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2

I went back and pulled this from an old comment i had made on the topic of Mormons showing up at the door. Christianity is a fraud, and when someone tries to sucker you into a fraud, you should be offended... Here is what I proposed we should say when they come around pulling that nonsense (I have doctored it up some, too.)

"Listen to me very carefully. I believe in ethics, science, especially medical science, and I believe in reason and logic. These are the things that have provided real answers to our questions and have improved our lives and actually relieved the suffering of millions on the planet in the last 300 years. I do not believe in magic, superstition, witchcraft or the power of prayer - nor do I believe in bigotry or intolerance.

"At the same time, I conclude that all branches of Christianity, and particularly Evangelicals, are a particularly destructive force for humanity. The basic tenants of the religion are a fraud. And the fraud is used as a tool to capitalize on fear, and to profit from ignorance, primarily by dividing and exploiting people. I conclude that it causes real harm, while not significantly contributing to solving problems or making a better world.

"For these reasons, while I wish us to remain close friends, I prefer that you not come here and evangelize to me or my family. No one is welcome to do so, and I find it a type of assault on me. I Also do not want to have to repeat my position on this over and over. So, I ask you, are you able to leave your faith at home, or in your church, and can you stop preaching and evangelizing your religion to me? I hope your answer will be yes."

2

I'm sure they feel like they're justified because they want to save your soul or some such nonsense, but even if it's coming from a place of good intentions it's still something that needs to be addressed. Because they're close friends, I think I'd take them aside and just ask them whether they would think it to be appropriate or kind if the shoe were on the other foot. Ask whether they'd be accepting of similar proselytizing from you, trying to dissuade them from their religious convictions and get them to see the light of a nonreligous perspective. Even if they say yes, you can let them know that you feel it's rude and a personal affront whenever they do so, but if they're truly good friends to you they will understand your perspective without you having to spell it out for them.

2

It's a hard one for me because I know that some of the people genuinely are concerned. They are so engrained with the idea that they may truly believe your life is in danger. I've dropped the friends that I didn't need. The ones that is prefer not to lose, I pretty much give lip service too. I don't lie to them, I just do the yeah ok whatever thing. It's annoying but not worth losing a good friend or family member over.

1

Head to the closest trash can and pitch it. Preferably while in the same room as the offender. They'll get the point sooner or later.

1

Smile, say Thank you, and say please find someone else to save.

1

If they send you books:

Do a Youtube search for "Steve Shives an atheist reads" and look for the book.

If Steve hasn't yet reviewed it, mail the book to Steve.

You can thank your friends and give them the link to Steve review.

Even if Steve has reviewed it, you could watch Steve’s page-by-page reviews and send your friends the link. Steve does an excellent point by point job taking that stuff apart.

These are really worth watching. I have used his work to debate theists siting horribly long apologetics books.

Perhaps your friends could learn from the literature they send you?

1

I just automatically put all printed religiosu merials into the recycle bin. They may ant to save me, but I want to (help) save the planet.

1

Have you tried the " been there done that " response?

1

Do they know you find it rude and disrespectful? I think that you will have to be clear if they continue it will be the end of your friendship. There is no reason you should put up with this kind of abuse.

1

That is really tough, because if you really care about realitives and friends, you want to maintain peace and love! But, I found it got harder and harder! Some of them are keeping a distance and some finally dropped by the wayside! That hurt too! There may be no way around it...there is going to be some losses! These people are terrified of being different...at least that is my assessment! They are little ducks in a row! Follow your own heart, we all deserve to be ourselves and happy!

1

No they know better

1

??? Tell them to stop. Tell them you don't believe in it and you find it offensive.

Call the post office and block their mail. If your friends treat you so disrespectfully, then they're not really "friends." In fact, I'd find new ones.

1

Alas I have no advice to offer, just commiserations! My family are all pretty “churchy” and it’s tough to continue to decline the constant invitations to “fellowship”. Especially with the older aunts... no use trying to explain my reasons... I tend to just give in once a year or so and resign myself to a few hours of my life I’ll never get back??‍♀️

Essie Level 6 Apr 1, 2018

Love that attitude...but so true!

0

Tell them you're a hot weather girl and Hell will suit you just fine. Now, watch the "deer in the headlights" look in their eyes!

0

Personally, I would stay away from anger and consider that people of faith are generally directed by their belief to spread the good word. I would accept their good-hearted intention and let it go. After all they are your friends.

0

I'm an ordained minister in Universal Life Church . I am registered at the county so I can marry people who want a secular service. That being said I still believe inthe christian principle of the "lying of hands "My I practice on you ?

0

Their time and paper to write on, is theirs to waste. I would tell them that I will never believe what they believe and when I get that stuff from them, I just throw it away and don't even bother with it. We can be friends and leave religion out of it, or they can can continue their efforts, knowing the fate of their pamphlets will be landfill. Their choice.

0

I just ignore that propaganda. If they go overboard I remind them that I don't try to convert them to atheism, so they should treat me the same way. And I also remind them that is not Christian at all trying to change somebody vision of things. But it's hard sometimes. Then when I tell them to quit, I'm rude. Really?

0

Mostly I'm live and let live when it comes to the religious. But that depends on it being a reciprocal arrangement. It's not that I don't want to dicuss religion but I find that when people open up a dialogue about it, with me they soon regret it. Shame I would enjoy the oportuinty to respectfully discuss my opinions on religion more often. Some pity the Jehova's Witness who knocks when I have time on my hands, I consider it my public duty to occupy their attentions in fruitess banter.

0

Are they really "dear friends"....or even friends? Any person who doesn't respect your feelings and opinions is not a friend but a toxic element in your life.

My best friend, Lidia, is extremely religious; she attends mass three times a week, recites the rosary before each meal....but in 40 years of friendship she never have attempted to "change me". .

0

Oddly enough, I don't feel the need to convince them that they are the ones who are wrong.

0

How about writing how you feel in a way that isnt going to make them feel defensive and harrass you more. Even thought they are disrespectfull try to find the place in you that can express your hurt that they treat you in this way - If it doesnt work drop them - I have noticed that people I drop from my life 'if they want to' do come around eventually. Anger does change things but good to have in your back pocket as a last resort. (just my take)

0

They are trying to save you from your free mind

0

Unfortunately, due to having family members who are not understanding or accepting individuals, I am forced to keep my skepticism to myself for the time being. Regarding your friends who are trying to "save" you...politely say no thanks and walk away. Most likely, they perceive what they do as helpful to you, I doubt there is any malice in their intentions. Easter is the worst holiday for me, for sure.

I never understood why a person must keep his / her opinions to him/herself to avoid offending those who could care less about offending others.

@DUCHESSA My apologies there, I did not fully state why in my above comment. It is not a matter of offending others with my lack of beliefs, it is a precaution on my part due to the fact that I have people in my family who are/would be prone to violent acts, and some have already stated that a "jihad" should be committed against all atheists. I hope my position is more understandable now, as it is not a matter of sparing feelings, but an act of caution.

@SpikeTalon Have you reported to the authorities those relatives prone to violent acts? I would do so in a second.

@DUCHESSA Sure have, and some have spent quite a few years in prison because of it.

0

Ummm, no. I have never had that experience. Maybe make new friends who are not so obnoxious? And/or lay down the law with your two friends; read them the riot act and let them know straight how you feel. Bejaysus, I could not cope with that kind of moralising. You have held your patience long enough. Time to draw some boundaries, I think.

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