Agnostic.com

30 18

Response to "I'm praying for you"

The other day, my 13 y/o daughter asked me how I react or respond to someone who tells me they are praying for me. In my younger years (teens/20's) I was filled with anger and ego. I would blatantly tell people I did not need or want their prayers. More specifically, I would tell my brother (who became an extremist christian in his 20s) as he would be praying for my sins and for me to accept jesus that his prayers were fruitless/meaningless as I didn't follow in his belief system. Thinking back on it, I felt like I was standing for something by being able to disregard anyones prayer to an imaginary deity.

Fast forward to my mid-30's, I've definitely calmed down. After many years of working on self and healing, I am no longer filled with anger or ego. I feel that I am graceful and more tactful in how I respond. Also trying to raise a rational non religious future functional human in society - I want her to also be able to thoughtfully respond and still hold her grounds on her beliefs. I let her know that I see prayers as someone having a positive and caring thoughtful desire. That generally speaking most of the prayers that come my way are out of kindness and concern. With that, if someone wants to prayer for me in a positive way, I will now say thank you and usually leave it at that. I see it as their own personal meditation and if they want to add me into it in a positive way, who cares?

What are your thoughts on this? What do you say when someone offers prayer or says they are praying for you?

Sarabobeara138 5 Dec 1
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

30 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

To me, IF it seems to be said in nice manner/tone of voice then my response/reply is usually, " Oh, that's nice, mind if I do your thinking for you."
Otherwise, if it is their usually in their degrading/demeaning manner/tone of voice then my response/reply is usually, "Please feel most welcome to insert that where the Sun never shines."

6

I would kindly say, "I hope it helps YOU"

6

Depends on the context. If they are praying to save my soul I will respond with "I will write a letter to Santa for you". If they are just wishing me well I will say "thank you".

Thank you, I believe I just may adopt that Santa approach in some circumstances just to see the reactions!

The only person that would pray for my soul was my brother; which I basically cut him out of my life due to his extremist Christian behavior. I definitely will discuss deeper context with my daughter, for when/if she gets someone speaking in that context to her.

5

I guess it all depends who is saying it.
If it is someone I know personally, and they are really offering best wishes in their way, I am gracious and thankful, I know the prayers are worthless, but the sentiment is invaluable.

If it is a politician or pastor or someone seeking to grandstand, pontificate, or otherwise profit from it, then fuck them.

5

It's their way to wish you well. I would thank them.

I thank them too. And I agree it's for the one that's offering the prayer. Folks are surly so much these days (me included), if it makes them happy, I'm cool with it.

4

I believe the proper response is: “and I’ll think for you”. But if it’s just a polite nice intention on their behalf, I’d just say “thank you” lol

Mvtt Level 7 Dec 1, 2020
4

I just try to avoid saying anything.

4

I am glad you grew up and out of that very debilitating anger. I totally agree with you about people praying out of kindness, the others who pray out of fanaticism, well they will get their own karma, like very sore knees.

4

I have christian siblings(we are all over 60) who often say they will pray for me. If they say it as if they want their diety to change my mind, I say "okay." If they say it to bring me comfort for something they think I need to be comforted for, I say "Thanks" and let it go. It is Their prayer and is nothing to do with me, so if it makes them feel better, I don't begrudge them that.

3

Not the same but I hear "God loves you" sometimes, to which I reply, "She loves you too."

I just reply to them "Oh that is wonderful, which one so I can love them back..." When they get upset and try to claim there is only one god I let them know that there are over 40,000 gods and goddesses being worshipped in the world today...

3

It depends. Are they sincere? Are they praying for me in genuine caring for me to come through a difficult time or situation? If so, then the response is, "thank you". But are they praying for me because I have the impertinence to not believe the same as they do? Because my soul is doomed because I don't buy in to their republican bullshit? Then my answer is, "you do that".

my answer would be very similar!

2

'Well it's the thought that counts'
Often they say it in a way that means that they are praying that their devil comes and drags me to hell for an eternal BBQ but I just smile at the sincere ones, like you would towards a mentally retarded person with a good heart.

2

I always say, great, and I will use my brain and think for you.

2

I tell them I’m not a believer, and that I’m not interested in discussing it.

2

When you pray for another be sure to ask in the prayer if it is god's will. This part is very important because we just do not know the will of god. He works in hysterical ways.

2

I have mixed feeling about this. I don't like to be "prayed at or for" without my consent and I never give consent. I make this clear to new friends. If they can't respect that we cannot be friends. I find this assumption that I am a believer annoying and arrogant. But I rarely respond with anything other than "No thanks.".

Where I was raised people just didn't speak about religion to non family or friends. It just wasn't done, so when I moved to OK (Evangelicaland) I was shocked at how damn near everyone got in your religious business. It's so personally invasive and rude. Here, complete strangers will ask you to church or ask if you have Jesus in your heart. I would flatly tell them, "mind your own business". Also, cashiers and people in shops and stores will "bless you" or "pray for you" when you come or go. It's all too much. Seriously, it becomes harassment after awhile.

So, while they may think they mean well, I find it annoying because here, it's day in and day out wherever you go. Again, mostly I reply, "no thanks". I see nothing wrong with "no thanks" because they are offering you something and you have the right to decline.

Leelu Level 7 Dec 1, 2020

I don't think I could handle living in an area that everyone wants to know your religious view point.

@Sarabobeara138 It isn't easy, that's for sure.

2

I personally don't believe, but if someone says that phrase I just respond with, if you think it'll help, personally I think it's a waste of time. 🙄

2

"I will pray for you.", can be uttered with two different intentions. The first is an implied insult as you are to be pitied and they will not really "pray" for you. The second, as an honest, but meaningless gesture, to which I tell them that prayers are meaningless to me inasmuch as I am not a believer and it costs them nothing to pray. Therefore, I would rather they give me a $20 bill inasmuch as I would then know that they are sincere.

1

I am not on a crusade to convert anyone else to my way of thinking. We all come to where we are based on our personal beliefs and experiences. If someone says he or she will pray for me, I understand that the expression comes from a good place and that is usually my litmus test for my inward response to the sentiment. I still consider myself to be Jewish, and was gratified to hear from a rabbi that I don't have to believe in an anthropomorphic God to be a "good" Jew. I frankly see nothing wrong with what is often referred to as the "Golden Rule."

1

It is difficult to not be impolite and at the same time assert your position and not accept an imposed religion.
My mom says something like that and I just let it sink into an awkward silence as she waits for to say something like Amem. But I do it because I know her and she knows me.
But in general I say something in the lines of "good for you, if you need something I will try to help"

1

The only time this has happened to me I was in the hospital trying hard not to die. A man came into the room and asked my name, I told him, he said he was going to add me to his daily prayer list. I thanked him for his time and effort. I do not know if he was the hospital Chaplain, it was a Catholic Hospital.

1

Depends on the situation. If they're saying that because Im an atheist my response is "yeah go f*** yourself"

1

I prefer genuine help. The prayer is really for the person doing it to think they did something when they did zero. Come and actually help me is what I say.

1

Well, that and 5 bucks will get me a coffee.

1

"Thanks" is fine, or if they aren't a friend "Please do, if it helps you".

1

To me it depends : if I realy have a problem and need real help, I would say : " Thank you, but I don't think that will help me " Lets face it, people shift the responsibility of helping with offering prayers. When somebody is hungry you need to give them food instead of praying for them. If somebody has cancer, and you offer prayers , thats ok, but you could still ask , if there is any way to help , or ?
If my complain is just vague and not specific I don't care if the answer = prayers , is vague and not specific.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:557290
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.