If you have your health and can pay your bills, you're kicking more ass than most people. If you need love, I suggest a dog. There are plenty that need to be rescued. You can be surrounded by people and feel alone. My uncle and his wife told us they were waiting for his mom to die so they could kick the other uncle out of his house to get their inheritance. You're not missing much with most people. The good ones will be hard to find -- and tough turning this covid apocalypse. Now is a good time for career, online degrees, pets, and hobbies. Maybe some porn sites.

You bring 100% value to your own life and you are the only one who can do it. You have fulfilled your responsibility as an adult to critically examine the things you were taught as a child and discovered the objective truth that others haven't been brave enough to admit.

It can be a lonely place, particularly if you are greatly dependent on others, but if you will do what's necessary to determine what is important in life to you irrespective of others, you can shift your priorities to things you can achieve without external support. You already have truth on your side.

That said, I think it's important to recognize that we all have positions that differ from everyone else on at least one subject. Many religious people are very fine people and differing on that issue alone may not be reason enough to ostracize all religious people.

Divorce, pandemic, politics, holidays.....these are all major stresses and depression builders. Stay safe. There are lots of great suggestions here, but remember whether religious or not, meaning in life is not an intrinsic thing, you create it as you go along....be well

Some tough moments for you. Many of the responses have good advice.. namely, now is the time for you to work on you Like you my 17 year LTR ended, no real friends to speak of.. and apart from my children being still under my roof for another year or so.. wondering the "value" question myself.

As we all know but often can't come to terms with, our lives are up to us as individuals. My life is not at the whim of anybody else. I allow myself to be happy, sad, forgiving, resolute., proud, humiliated.. etc.

Something I am using to propel myself into a new life as I approach 60 is my ability to learn. Acquiring skills for this modern age, especially in the area of communication and social media tech, is opening doors to meeting new people and challenges and keeping the world relevant to me and me to the world.

"The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being."
Carl Jung

Good luck with the seeming void in front of you. It's a blank page, Start filling it!!!

Sounds like you are carrying a lot to be sad about. Changes are sad and hard...at least for myself and all the people that I have known that go through big changes. Everything, that you know will be throw into question. Even the things that you have down pat! This is just small details in your ‘big picture’...they want your attention as some of them...no longer serve you! And if you like to have things laid out nice and neatly (at least in your own mind), having to worry about new ways of living and thinking is going to present some anxiety and even sadness. As you must give up some stuff that you are attached to! But, you will come out on the other side, with renewed hope...that is, if you plow through your hurting feelings. That is the only way you can get to the understanding...needed to be yourself again. I am sorry that you are feeling so lost and alone. I can assure you, that it will get better.

About your son...I can empathize, because one of my daughters has not spoken to me in 2 years. A son, is kinda of on the fence (not a word over the holidays). It hurts, but my thinking is, we must give them the space to do/be themselves. Because, the arguments and hurting words just leave scars...not to mention trying to pretend things are ok! Seems better to be at a ‘distance’ than to make ‘scars,’ that take time to heal! Please know that you are not alone...but you may be lonely for the people that matter to you the most. Apparently, it is one of those cruel jokes, we parents must endure! Take council, and leave the door to your heart open, we want to be ready when our children remember they can love and be loved. That out weighs religion and politics and even the fact that we were not the perfect parents some of our children felt they deserved! My best to you...keep your hope alive, it will get better!

Just keep on truckin' my friend, your operating about average as humans go.

The divorce, the son, the grandkids - all of this would not have occurred without you and you have no idea how much more you may yet bring into being through your existence. This is the value that you bring and it is important that you find new meaning and more value, it is possible but you have to allow it to happen.

The standard advice is to volunteer or find a hobby. I say, rescue a shelter dog or two....a reason to get up, get out, they supply constant love & needing you, plus silly & fun, and they are alive & loved. Many shelters have discounts depending on your age, and help with spay/neuter if it hasn't already been done. Petco & petsmart have low-cost vaccinations, Aldi's sells a Great premium dog food dirt cheap.
Reading what you wrote i find myself nodding my head, divorced 10 years, I haven't (nor do I want to!) spoken to my only child for over 10 years, have a few casual friends, now quite distanced, of course. But my 2 rescue dogs fill my days with laughter and sometimes concern. NEVER a dull moment with dogs!

Though my life is different than yours I do at times feel similar to you. If I had any answers I'd gladly share them with you but I don't. Mostly what keeps me going are the small things and a lack of willingness to completely give up.

I certainly won't give you some meaningless platitudes. Personally, that just irritates me when people do that to me. There are no simple answers that will magically bring meaning or purpose to your life (or anyone else's) so I doubt anything I say will really make much difference.

Maybe sit down and think about what you want out of life for this next chapter. What in your life does bring you some bit of happiness/peace/contentment? Reading? Cooking? Music? A hobby? It may not be much but maybe its a place to start.

Congratulations and welcome to the club . As one lady wrote , she raised them and they're still alive , so she did a hard job . You've spent the preceeding years of your life being responsible for others . And now they've been launched . Hooray ! This is your time . These are your golden years . This is that period when you get to treat yourself , instead of spending all your efforts and funds on others . If you decide you want to continue supporting others , after you've gotten your vaccine shot , you can volunteer at a hospital , school , fire company , or emergency services . If you want to travel , make plans for after the vaccines have been injected , to go to some of those exotic places you've never had the freedom to tour . Join groups of shared interests , learn to play an instrument , take up a hobby , build a suit of armor , try being the part of you , that you had to put off till now .

Just be you, find things that interest you and delve into them. If you want outside contact find a way to volunteer for something you enjoy. I teach when there is no pandemic around. But there are parks and museums that take volunteers or a myriad of other options. You sound like the majority of us that are getting older.

It is all too easy to be too hard on yourself, particularly when things are tough. Please free to adopt or reject any or all of the following as you see fit.

Consider that you might of value to yourself.

Consider that you may also be of value to other people. Look at the supportive comments here so far. It might also surprise you to learn, as I did, that "mere" acquaintances also see value in you.

Consider that people's opinions can and often do differ. Such differences are indeed divisions, but such divisions are not necessarily a cause for strife. I cite two theists of my acquaintance in this regard.

If somebody else takes exception to your own values, beliefs and opinions, that is their problem, not yours.

And as @jlynn37 says, just keep truckin'.

I don't know anything about your life and apologize for overstepping or misunderstanding. And it may not apply at all. However I have felt like that in the past multiple times. Ultimately I have come to realize that a lot of how one sees his life is determined by the perception he has. For example, I grew up very poor and always thought that having enough money would eliminate all my worries. Now I am successful and life is much easier, but I find I have to remind myself of how much I have compared to what I used to have. I am not generally any happier unless I focus on the successes I have had and the happy times I have with my family. I also have a child on the autism spectrum and at times that can be overwhelming and fill me with worry. But then I take control and intentionally try to notice the positive and realize that he will be ok. But I have to be intentional about my outlook and the things I notice. Because otherwise it's just not productive and leads to letting my children down. And when I do I often realize that there were many good things, laughs, smiles, little achievements, etc that I just didn't focus on at the time.

Anyway, good luck.

I'm not sure where you live but there is a Freethought group in Kansas City Midtown. Meet other friendly, like minded people who practice critical thinking and explore science. You're not alone. Be well.
[meetup.com]

I have very young children, so I can't relate on the same level, but I'm a non believer and my entire family are believers, and the holidays are always stressful for this reason. This isn't a popular opinion, but I have learned to just keep my thoughts to myself (except when my family is trying to shove jesus down my children's throats) and direct the conversation elsewhere. I hate feeling silenced but it's a sacrifice I make, and I'm sure someone will comment on here giving me flack for it but it's okay.
But please, don't question your value. I don't know you, but I know you have plenty of it.

Can't add much more than what all the others have said and I find it all good advice. I would talk to a pro, just to bounce things off of. Do find a secular one, just saying. I too am alone and while I'm not always happy with that I am very glad to be alone with me than alone with someone, BTDT and it sucks.
I never reproduced but like any rift between someone you love (yes I know a child is a bit different, still . .)
it hurts. You can choose how long or how much you want to feel that way but live life for yourself you are the only one you can make truly happy.
At least you have the community of people here at agnostic.com

Sorry to hear all that, but I am not surprised. I find that most men do not have friends, they do know other men but not in a way that we women do. Is your son not talking to you because you are not a believer? If yes then it make him a very bad christian. We all bring value to life, we just don't see it, especially when we feel down then it is extra hard. Every day think of things that you can be grateful for, no matter how small and take good care of yourself. Family does not have to be blood.

I’m a Pagan married to a Presbyterian. My daughter has more problems with my beliefs than my wife. But, I stick to my guns! I suggest if u divorce, look for an atheist girl next. My wife understands my beliefs and respect s them. Actually, the Presbyterians know I’m Pagan, but they accept me and don’t try to convert me.

“I am having a hard time understanding any value I bring to life”

What do you value in life? It sounds like family matters are important to you, but you're feeling distance in that regard. Is there any way you can narrow that gap? Your eldest son doesn't speak to you, but you have other children and grandchildren. What ways can you be involved in their lives? Have you considered being a mentor? E.g., involved in Big Brothers? Are there other community service programs that might benefit from your knowledge, skills, and/or time? What other interests do you have?

As a loner this kinda sounds perfect to me.

Not uncommon to feel this way during the holidays, I try and distract myself and in a week or so I feel better.

A common problem shared when I first gave up on religion....Finally came to realize I had also given up on people, including family, that seemed to have given up on me....wrong thing to do.....because I also had given up on me...I had forgotten to allow me to be wrong..and when I allowed me to be wrong, then I also had to allow others to be wrong....I have found common interest with, and in, others, and now allow them to be wrong, without having to point it out. Especially family.

My advice in a similar situation:

Let them go. Practice meditation.

Unfortunately my Friend, you can pick your friends but can never pick your family, a sad but ever so true fact of life.
Often the very best friend anyone can really have is themselves but can also, at times, be their own worst enemy as well, learning to come to grips with yourself goes a very long way towards being at peace with yourself and that peace, when it is all boiled down, is the peace that truly matters.
Measure not what value you bring to life, instead measure what value you bring to your OWN life, that is the important part of living.
Try to remember that Good friends are like Diamonds, rich, rare and to cherished, occasional friends are like the fallen leaves, they are found everywhere, hence, it is better to but a few Good friends than a host of 'occasional ones'.
Always the opinions of one will often cause either division or strife with others but that is normal for IF we ALL were to think alike life would be boring to the extreme would it not?
Friend, you ARE an Individual,there is NONE other like you anywhere else, be glad to be who are you are, let yourself NOT be judged by others, judge yourself as yourself but do NOT judge yourself harshly as others will always do for ONLY you can truly know yourself.
You ARE a child of the Universe, you, like the trees and the Stars, have a RIGHT to be here so enjoy that right and the life no matter what troubles and tribulations, every Dawning is a New Day, a doorway to an undiscovered future, stand not a the window looking in, step boldly across the threshold instead and march forward into tomorrow embracing it with open arms.