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What Real Intimacy means to me.

“Real Intimacy is a meeting between two souls, an invitation to meet each other exactly where they are, without expectation or agenda. It doesn’t demand gifts and benefits, sexual prowess, conditional offerings. It merely asks you to show up as you are, fully revealed and present. It invites you to shed your masks, disguises and adaptations, and to drop into whatever is real for you in that moment. Real intimacy meets you where you live, not where you or anyone else wants you to live. It’s the big sigh of relief that arises when you finally know that you don’t have to put on a show to feel accepted. Here we are, just as we are. Hello.” - Jeff Brown

Hazydays 7 July 13
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Is that even possible?

mikeXL Level 3 Aug 6, 2018

It has been my experience that this is very possible. Not everyone is going to believe its possible, especially if you've never felt anything close to this type of connection with another person, so it will be harder for some to find it when you don't know what to look for. Needs a lot of internal work to reach this level of openess, acceptance, vulnerability and knowing how to find the same authenticity in the perfect partner.


It always seems like the beginning.

If this 'always' happens for you, then I'd say you're VERY lucky. I've only ever experienced this once in 46 years, but I'll always keep my heart open to hopefully find it again one day.


Took the words right out of my mouth.. lol. Perfect description. I have had that and lost it. Sigh... What a dumbass I was.

GeekDad13 Level 4 July 14, 2018

Me too, only once. Unfortunately it was taken from me instead of losing it. Reflection is important in recognizing. I hope you find it again one day too.


That kind of vulnerability and trust takes years to build, I'd say I have this with two male friends and have seen couples who pull it off consistently. Lots of work, but totally worth it for the relationship and personal growth.

@Compassion8doubt I've known those 2 guy friends for 27 and 20 years.

The first guy helped me out of religion and I helped him lose 400lbs, I'm his daughter's godfather.

The 2nd guy and I worked 15 hour shifts together for a few years.

It would be awesome to be that vulnerable, open, trusting, loving...with a mate, I know long term couples who do that well. It's inspiring.

takes a long time and consistent work, not really "hard work" tho imo

In my experience it didn't take years to build. When two people meet and they are in the same place, with the same values and the same mindset...and are truthful, honest and willing to be vulnerable and take risks, it can take months over years. Never hard work and feels natural. Perhaps theres a difference when this is applied to a friendship versus a love partnership?

@Hazydays possibly, the only time I felt that connected to a romantic partner was my ex wife when dating.

I still think the more exposure you have with someone the deeper the relationship can be. You can hope and absolutely believe you know how they respond to stressors, but until you've lived through something together it's theoretical. Maybe I'm just biased by my own baggage tho

@educatedredneck so true. We are all biased by our own experiences, expectations and resulting emotional baggage

@Hazydays true, all the in lust hormones are still blasting our bodies after a few months too, personally I question how intimate I feel with someone if I've only known them for a few months.

@educatedredneck that’s always a good thing to question. ?

No. It doesn't always take years. Sometimes you meet some someone and magic happens. It's happened to me once and I can not express how good that feeling.


Still waiting.

Mooolah Level 8 July 13, 2018

keep looking 😉


Yet even the married seek it.

Only the unhappily married I would think 😐

@Hazydays every relationship is a work in progress lol...

@Bigwavedave it surely is 🙂

@Hazydays I can only do what I can do. ....I have no illusions.. I have so many friends on 3, 4 marriages. Not my can sustain intimacy....


The meeting of naked souls/psyches/hearts is far more intimate than just being naked.

so true 🙂

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