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When do you think its time to let go of an Internet relationship/ friendship that you know is never going to lead to anything.

Kojaksmom 8 Oct 20
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29 comments

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9

When that relationship is a drag on you, then it is time to let it go. If you no longer get pleasure from it, then it is a burden. Set that burden down and lighten your load. Move on.

7

I listen to my big heart on this one. Even when all the outside circumstances are yelling at me to quit, I still value the person I am involved with more; plus I respect the friendship we are growing. I want my friendships to last till death. My heart says it's not over till both of us agree together to end it. If I enjoy the contact, and he does too, why end it?

My thinking is this. Love, relationships, and friendships don't come into my life often enough. When I find it, I cherish it.

5

Maybe it's time to have a heart-to-heart with this person. Maybe it won't end up being the relationship you thought it would, but it still may be a valuable connection to you in some other way.

CarolLynne Level 6 Oct 21, 2018
4

What does it need to lead to?

4

I don't expect friendships to lead to anything. I'd let go of an internet relationship as soon as I lost interest.

Paracosm Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
3

What CarolLynne said. Communicating is almost 90% of communication 😉

BurtsTime Level 6 Oct 21, 2018
3

Does it bring you joy or sadness? Is it only serving to keep you from feeling completely alone? Maybe it’s time to move along if it’s not serving your needs.

UUNJ Level 8 Oct 21, 2018
3

I think it all depends on the friendship/relationship and what you expect... If it's someone you're looking at as a romantic prospect and nothing's moving forward with that, you may want to talk to the person about it and/or let them go; if a nice friendship has developed from it, by all means concentrate on that aspect of the connection instead... If it's a friend, well, I've only dropped people if they've crossed a line, done something hurtful or offensive and didn't own it or apologize, or if their attitude/behavior became difficult towards me, and again they wouldn't own it or just took offense... More often than not, sometimes one or both of us needs some distance, but that doesn't mean disconnecting from them... I also think it's a matter of what you expect from them.

bleurowz Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
2

Even before. When one realizes that communication is like beating one's head against a wall. Communication is not an exact science but with some people it becomes pretty certain everything you say becomes a grounds for battle. I don't block others but will ignore them when things become dramatic.

JackPedigo Level 9 Oct 21, 2018
2

Depends on how fast you want it to progress and how patient you are. I Recently had to let one go on here

2

when you're comfortable telling the person

TheDoubter Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
1

Sooner rather than later. Time spent hoping is time that you will never get back.

1

Never let go, if you truly care. I have been hanging on for three years, can't let go even though I know nothing will ever change. I try to forget and move on but, haven't found anyone who wants to give it a try.

1ROBROY2 Level 7 Nov 8, 2018
1

Never. It's only an opportunity to make new acquaintances as a starting point. Whater may happen or not after that is up to the parties involved

IamNobody Level 8 Nov 3, 2018
1

When it starts to affect your life, job, relationship...

1

If you find yourself questioning (which you are) - it’s time.

1

When you realize it’s never going to lead to anything and ‘trying’ just doesn’t feel worth it.

Hazydays Level 7 Oct 22, 2018
1

Ditch your phone go outside go clubbing go dancing meet people outside and have real intimacy.

Never doubt that deep intimacy is as possible 1,000 miles apart. It can be as real, maybe “realer” than an in-person relationship.

@brainyactress If it's that easy go 1000 miles if you have the resources.

@PinkyandtheBrain It isn’t always so easy but it has been real.

@brainyactress I agree that real intimacy is possible from a distance, but how is that "realer" than an in-person relationship?

@ailurophile My experience says that I can share more of my true self with someone 500 miles away if we’re both open and honest than I can with the person who sleeps next to me if we’ve built a bunch of walls.

@brainyactress I don't know I rather kiss real lips not a screen. That is just my humble opinion. Good luck on the relationship get together or make it a vacation to meet.

@brainyactress I can agree with "possible" but must add "most improbable". For me, at least, it takes time and familiarity to get to that level of "deepness". Both are also required for me to Trust...

@Santanaman9 Two years ago I’d have said the same thing, but depth and familiarity and trust are all possible even if it’s all through an electronic medium. I’d say, in fact, that contemporary inventions like real-time chat functions put only the thinnest veneer between people. I’m not saying I prefer it or that it’s the ideal, just that it’s possible and can be very real. My relationship took time to develop. As would any in person relationship. But I can tell you we had fallen in love and I knew him deeply. The sound of his voice, his family, his fears, nearly every inch of his body and he mine.

@brainyactress Thanks for weighing in. Perhaps... in two years...?

1

When you realize that you KNOW it is never going to lead to anything worthwhile.

Good answer

1

about 10 years ago I was playing an online game on facebook.. at one part of the game to "level up" you had to add/connect with friends .. (looking back now I would never do this today).. ended up adding some completely random people from the USA .. 10 years later two of those people are still on my friends list.. I sometimes talk to them more then I do my local "fb friends"..
so..
if you can still be friends with the person, why do you feel you need to let it go at all..?

I guess if you were 'intimate' with this person in any way , and if you ever got yourself a boyfriend maybe he might have an issue ? (of course if he did I would also suggest to drop his ass as he sounds controlling lol )
...
of course I readily admit im NOT the most normal person.. I still have three female Friends (because there just wasnt enough chemistry to keep dating) who I am also online friends with..

hippydog Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
1

When you start thinking it might be time...maybe? It's really not that simple. If you're wanting romance and they're never going to budge, it is probably time.

Cabsmom Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
1

gotta agree w/Taladad......decision reached,time to book

lookinhard Level 7 Oct 20, 2018
1

Did you have a specific outcome in mind? Does it have to lead to somethingor can it just be what it is? I am curious because I have had the same thought.

GreatNani Level 8 Oct 20, 2018

Looks like it is what it is. Im not sure thats enough to keep me interested. I'm also pretty sure this person is married, but He denies it.

@Kojaksmom ok, so drop him now. If you have those kind of doubts then it is time to get out. Sorry! That just stinks.

@Kojaksmom Trust issue. Time to go.

@brainyactress it's a little bit more than Trust. Communication does not occur spontaneously only at set times. The opportunity to possibly meet did present itself once, but was never even slightly attempted by this person. Wife's profile on Instagram does show pics . Of him and their two kids.

@Kojaksmom I’m sorry. Sounds like he doesn’t deserve your trust.

1

Right away, like as soon as it comes to you that it’s not a good thing.Time is not on your side. Don’t waste a millisecond.

1

It's already led to something. I think you mean it will not have the resolution you wish. So, you can have an on-line friend forgo your Internet relationship; it seems likely your relationship will change if you keep it, because you will change your expectations for it.

EdEarl Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
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