I'm curious about polyamory. Has anyone in the group experienced a polyamorous relationship? Did it work for you?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I am bisexual and had a boyfriend for 30 years, who drank himself to death rather than admit he was gay.
Now, I had know my wife to be, for some four years prior to marriage. During that time I had female, male partners quite openly. She came from a large family, and was sexually active from early teens...moving to marriage, we had a long, l o n g, talk..put both our feelings on the table as to what our lives could, or would be. AND frankly I cannot understand any couple getting married without discussing sex...anyway, the compromise was that I would be allowed to have my boyfriend, and maybe others, and she was equally as open to have boyfriend(s). We married for over 50 years, her last boyfriend was in our circle of friends and they dated exclusively for the final 10 years of her life, with his passing 6 months before she. it allowed us to have emotions to expand to the limits of our availability and we flourished...neither was allowed to defame the other, nor humiliate or embarrass. When there were times, no money for a motel, I would find an excuse to be away from home so they could have their time together, and for some reason, make it a touch kinkier in our bed....life was good, sex was great, BUT the absolute best part was not having any restrictions on loving...it was allowed to flourish to the maximum...is polyamory for everyone ? I doubt it, won't say no, but doubt it...is monogamy for everyone ? Won't say no, but doubt it...
NormCastle
Level 7
Apr 28, 2018
1
By the way, I really like that you posted a question about polyamory in the group designed to talk about intimacy. Poly has been a leveling up experience for us in the areas of intimacy with other people.
Telegramsam70
Level 5
Apr 10, 2018
1
Intimacy is about being real, genuine and accepting of another. It's not just about sex.
My wife and I operate as a partnered polyamorous couple. What would you like to know? I only have my experience, and the anecdotal experiences of others to draw from. Ask me anything!
Telegramsam70
Level 5
Apr 10, 2018
2
Thanks! I've not been in a polyamorous relationship but think I would like to be. I don't believe that one person can fulfill all the needs of another. And I do believe that one person can love more than one. I've just found that men I've encountered want to be exclusive. Is the poly person rare?
@Wildflower Are you prepared to reciprocate? In other words accept that you never will be able to satisfy another's needs?
Take one extreme. Let's say that you wish to enjoy sex with both men and women individually not in a swinging orgy situation. Your partner, male, says ok off you go. How do you feel if he then declares his homosexual needs and desires a man?
In the non sexual arena what if your partner takes up/ expresses a need for Islam and the brotherhood of fellow Muslims? What will be your reaction as you cannot supply it?
@FrayedBear I am totally willing to reciprocate. I know I cannot meet all the needs of one person. And sexual or spiritual preference is not necessarily a dealbreaker. All depends on mutual respect and communication. And of course love. Before entering into a committed relationship it's about knowing the other person(s) and trusting them. I'm very open-minded and accepting.
@Wildflower I have for a long time agreed with your consideration and have long been amazed at marriages that exist for 30, 40, 50 and one recent report in the local paper 70 years duration wondering is this true or simply a complacency and failure to review and satisfy all possibilities. It seems however that the majority of people want continuity, conformity, possession and exclusiveness in their relationships. How do they prevent boredom, infidelity, dishonesty, progression, independence, freedom and free will? Certainly adherence to Christian concepts of marriage does not allow for them.
@Wildflower less rare than you’d think. Most folks are fairly private about it. In the Midwest, swinging is more common, but people are evolving...
@Telegramsam70 I know there is swinging everywhere. Is there no difference between swinging and polyamory? I'm talking more about a committed relationship with more than one person. All aware and consenting of course.
FrayedBear
Level 9
Apr 10, 2018
1
Oh, please. If people aren't into polyamory, they have ego problems and lack self awareness? Rubbish.
@irascible You can lead along the path of enlightenment but you cannot open eyes and minds to see and comprehend...particularly those fishing or cherry picking for replies to justify their own beliefs. @Lysistrata I suggest that @irascible is also saying that not all people free of ego problems who also are self aware want polyamorous relationships.
I am yet again reminded of the man and a woman censoring a taped talk to be listened to by Parent Without Partners members trying to understand why their relationships had failed so as to not repeat the mistake. The censored part they didn't want others to hear was the consulting doctor talking of the importance of sex in relationships.
@irascible Prior conditioning on her part leading to obscurantism perhaps?
Message sent on another matter.
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