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So...the title of the group is real intimacy but I see questions a lot about sex here. Do you think there is a difference between sex and intimacy, especially real intimacy? I know I do..

thinkwithme 7 Apr 29
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0

There a neat model of sexuality that puts sexual intercourse in a different realm than intimacy because the former is physical and has health ramifications while the latter is emotional and relational. We may choose to only share our bodies with intimates, or not. Intimacy involves vulnerability, trust, caring, sharing, liking, loving, risk taking and reciprocity. Big stuff. Without intimacy, sex can be recreational, and some people prefer that. Others need intimacy before sex or hope sex will increase intimacy. The NYTimes ran a long article about men using Tinder to find non-intimate sex partners and women using it to find relationships. It was sad to observe the disconnect.

UUNJ Level 8 May 16, 2018
0

I'm glad you see it that way. People have strayed away from other levels of intimacy outside of sex. I somewhat loathe conversations about sex. To me, most people have never built the intimacy to warrant such intimate conversations. Let alone the activity itself. To me, it's a loss when it's that way.

1

It doesn't have to be that way. You could respond to any sex question in a deeper way.

Kojaksmom Level 8 May 6, 2018
1

Sex is just a fraction of intimacy - casual sex w/o intimacy is just a bit better than masturbation -- always thought the casual touch, hug, cuddle, warm kiss - was as fulfilling as the sex - just a different itch that needs scratchin'.

pops410 Level 5 May 3, 2018
3

For me there can be no sex without some form of intimacy. It is very rare to find someone with whom you can experience ‘real’ intimacy with.

Hazydays Level 7 May 2, 2018
5

Absolutely!
Sexual inter course is a slight part of intimacy.
The authentic connection from vulnerability to existential inquiries - shared, trusted.

LouRaven Level 5 May 2, 2018
5

Intimacy, the ability to fart in front of your partner.

that could be intimacy or just hostile lol

8

I definitely do. You can have sex without being intimate. And you can be intimate without sex.

I guess it partly depends upon your definition of intimacy.

Marcie1974 Level 8 Apr 30, 2018
2

Well, sex is an intimate act by definition. Outside of sex, I have never had a friendship I would consider intimate, so cannot speak to that. Other family member relationships have been very close to intimate but still "guarded". I have been intimate with my lovers beyond sex. I don't know if this answers your question. I think men are more likely to see sex and intimacy as one and the same.

2TuffTony Level 5 Apr 29, 2018
3

Sex is a part of intimacy.

Shawno1972 Level 7 Apr 29, 2018
12

Intimacy is beyond just taking your clothes off, it is when you take your barriers down and let someone in to see the real you; your fears, your demons, your ugly parts and your true heart. True intimacy is hard and scary as hell, and I would go to the ends of the earth for it.

probably the best definition of intimacy I've seen -- thank you

1

Really depends on the human. I love my bestie but I don't want have sex with him. On the other hand, I can see a cute guy and i'm like, "how do I get his pants off?" just depends on stuff.

MissaDixon Level 7 Apr 29, 2018
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