It's not the when, it's the why. There was a recent discussion about if sex on the first date could lead to a good relationship.(hell yes!) With both my wives, we were both all in from the start. This is our romantic adventure, we were fucking like crazy and sharing our deepest thoughts and dreams. Fortune favors the bold, but I don't mind waiting for a woman who needs some time to decide or process her feelings. What has bothered me is someone who withholds sex or approval to gain the upper hand in the relationship, it's objectifying and when it has happened I was just done.
I have posted this before but will do it again for the newcomers. I saw a pair of his and hers T-shirts. His said: "Just because I had sex with you doesn't mean I love you" and hers said: Just because I love you doesn't mean I will have sex with you". When it comes to sex women and men are normally different in what they are looking for.
Do you understand the toxicity of the phrase - "withholding sex"?
It's deeply offensive because it infers a woman is being dishonest and playing games.
It overrides a woman's agency.
It assumes ownership over a woman's body.
It dismisses the fundamental concept of consent.
And I put this to you - if you feel unwell. If you've got the flu, if you feel tired. If you've had a bad day at work and you have a pounding headache or there are stressful events going on in your life that are getting you down.. or if you are simply not in the mood and your female partner requests sex but you decline are you 'withholding' sex?
When I first met my wife she was so drunk she could barely stand, having been separated from the friend she was out with then ejected from the nightclub she was in. She then latched onto me and was keen to take me home but I declined as she was way too drunk. She had lost her housekeys (we later discovered her friend had her handbag) so I got a taxi and delivered her to the home of another of her friends. She was crashed out within minutes (booze does that apparently) so I said goodnight to her friend and left. Just as I was leaving, her friend thanked me for not "taking advantage" then asked for my number so she could call me to thank me for getting her home safe when/if she sobered up. She called me the following day and I gave her a bit of a telling off for allowing some stranger to load her into a taxi and urging her to be more careful in future. 20 years later we're still here driving each other nuts but I seriously love and adore her.