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Today is my good friends husband services. I don't feel I can go even if I am working. Is that bad of me? I thought bringing food on the weekend is a better option.

Rose2U 7 Dec 7
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9 comments

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1

I've buried so many people that I swore to myself I'm never going to another funeral. I don't care who it is.

GuyKeith Level 8 Dec 15, 2018
0

Do what makes you feel comfortable,just as long as you express your feelings to your friend?

1

It's not bad of you. Taking care of yourself is important too. Bringing food over after everyone else is gone would be a kind thing to do, and will probably be greatly appreciated.

2

We all know that before our loved one died, everyone was there for us. After the funeral, everyone seems to disappear and go on with their lives. the most painful part,for me, was being alone, afraid and grieving. Explain to your friend why you can't make it, but make it a point to check in with your friend frequently in the near future.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Dec 7, 2018
2

if it's too tough to go, tell your friend. a friend will understand

1

Tell your friend how you feel and sort it out from there. I was hurt when people did not show up without explaining. As you know this is so hard and she will probably understand or she might tell you she needs you. Just be open and honest as it is your friend.

Gypsy494 Level 7 Dec 7, 2018
2

How did you feel at your husband's memorial? Would you have been hurt if your friend did not attend? How do you think she will feel?
When my partner was dying she sent a message of no tears and no prayers but wanted the community (which is big here) to visit and they did, mostly. The one exception was a neighbor who was very close and used my partner for guidance when she was having a mental breakdown (which was fairly often). She did not visit nor go to the memorial. She confided to me that it was simply too emotional and she would have cried and upset my partner. I understood and, knowing my partner, i am positive she understood why her friend did not visit.

Actually my friend did not come. She brought me food after. Yes it did hurt but the entire thing hurt.

@Rose2U Good so she will understand.

2

yes, it's hard to go as you put yourself in her place and live your sorrow again, I do.

Susieq Level 7 Dec 7, 2018
3

Do whatever feels right for you. I think you should speak to your friend and explain that it would be an ordeal for you...but you will visit her at the weekend and your thoughts are with her today. Take food or flowers as a gift if you think it appropriate.

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