I have a master's degree
I was born to my parents, in an apartment, in Tacoma, WA. The same apartment I'd spend the rest of my childhood living in. I moved out shortly after 19. The apartment was run down, and the walls were covered in mold, and the wallpaper peeled on every exterior wall. The carpets were filthy. The linoleum floor peeled, and cracked. We had mice, a lot, when I was growing up. I'd find their shit in my dresser drawer, mixed with my clothes. Once I woke up to a rat, not a mouse, on the end of my bed.
We were poor, just like most families in my neighborhood. The city I was raised in is the most dangerous city in Washington State. We lovingly refer to it as, "Tacompton." Drive by shootings. Hookers down on South Tacoma Way, 2 blocks from my parents apartment. Drug house directly across the street, and on the next block.
We didn't own a car for much of my childhood. It was either broken, or we couldn't afford to fix it; later sending it to the junkyard around the time I was in the 6th grade. We never owned a car, again. We began using the bus to grocery shop, and take our laundry to the laundromat.
My father has a gambling addiction, and my mother has schizophrenia. It was a hell of a thing, growing up with the type of neglect I endured. I nearly died as an infant from something called Failure to Thrive. I'm sure any of my fellow medical colleagues will understand just how serious that is, and just how overt the neglect was at that time. My father would leave me alone with my schizophrenic mother, as an infant, while he went to work all day. She provided zero care. If you've never seen videos of what happens to a baby when they are denied human interaction, you're welcome to check it out, but it's not for the faint of heart. He would tell me about coming home from work and finding me in my crib. Bottle empty, or soured, covered in my own excrement after working to get my feces away from my already severely blistered skin. You're probably wondering, "why would he even admit to that?" Because he has narcissistic personality disorder also, and he loves to feel he's a saint. Blaming my mother for the neglect after my grandmother told me about my nearly dying.... well that just makes sense, when it comes to him.
So, infancy was pretty rough. But it didn't end there. My parents were poor, and couldn't afford childcare...... got it. But, what about my hair growing up? It's simple enough to brush a child's hair. Once again, overt neglect.
Once a year I would be taken to a salon to have them comb the birds nests from my hair. Sometimes the naps would get as large as a softball. Giant balls of tangled hair. And my father would complain about the cost of the salon, but he sure did have the money for those pull tabs.
I suffered much more abuse and neglect than what I've listed and described here. I could write a book on my life that would shock people. And probably break many a heart.
I say all of this, to say.....
Poverty. That's my greatest fear. I'm overcoming it step by step.
Today, in spite of all the things I endured growing up, I graduated with my master's degree in nutrition and dietetics, and completed my dietetic internship.
God did NOT help me. I did. I worked so very hard to achieve this. This was all me. Because growing up in a religious household, I was told to pray. And I did, like a good little girl. And it didn't stop any of the abuse. I always knew it wasn't real, deep down.
I did this. I overcame. I persisted.
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130 comments (26 - 50)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.You are a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit. You overcame a wretched start and are finishing well. I wish you continued sucesss.
HippieChick58
Level 9
Aug 11, 2018
2
You might not have anyone in your life to tell you how proud they are of you (and I hope that you do). So in case you don't, even though I just found out about you today through this post, I am very very proud of you. I wish all the best things for you from now on, and I know you will continue to work for everything you want.
zeuser
Level 9
Aug 11, 2018
2
The world may never know, and often, not care. Thank you for sharing this, it helps put humanity in perspective. And yes, where was ..god? Same place it’s always been, in the imagination of inept humans.
You will appreciate the seemingly simplest of things as few in our culture do, perhaps the only upside.. You will relate to those many can’t. You will be a resource among appreciative friends. You’ve proven yourself a survivor, and someone worthy will earn your love.
Varn
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
3
Varn:
@nutrition_nerd As with most of us on this site.. we’ve definitely got to look harder than most. Or, let them find you, and continue to progress in life. ...and, get out of the PNW (pending subduction zone quake).. Get with a government program promoting nutrition in Appalachia, for example. With your life experience and skills, seems a perfect fit. And, any government program surviving this presidential administration is likely to last beyond it..
@nutrition_nerd The really good ones are few and far between . Don't wait to see if Prince Charming is going to show up . Be who you are and know that you don't need them . They're just icing on the cake . or from another perspective , Men are just deserts .
I sincerely hope that someday , you'll find all the love you missed out on , while growing up . The real thing , not just words . You deserve it .
Cast1es
Level 9
Aug 11, 2018
2
@nutrition_nerd So very true !
This is an amazing story, even more amazing that you made it despite the surroundings. You have to be an incredibly strong person and to do it without someone "watching over you" or seeing only "one set of footprints" must make it very satisfying. It also put's into perspective the whole shitty childhood some of us only think we had.
BobbyJaan
Level 7
Aug 11, 2018
1
What a strong woman to overcome your background to reach a goal! You somehow got your mind to look past your life and set your own path...what a moving and inspiring story! Congrats and may your life take a different turn ...one that you want...now and always...thanks for sharing...you have already given back what you did not get...hope and kindness...I see a bright future for you!
thinktwice
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
2
Wow. Congratulations. The world needs more people like you. You make it better.
Mitch07102
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
1
I hear you and understand where you're coming from. It is a great accomplishment and I hope you do/will understand this is not a finish line but the beginning of what YOU can make a good race. Keep working hard. Lots of success going forward and enjoy the journey !!!
IamNobody
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
1
Congratulations. You've earned it!
Neglect doesn't even require poverty. My wife's father was and is wealthy, and left her home alone with a severely bipolar, intermittently psychotic mother who abused and neglected her. Eventually two younger siblings came along, and my wife raised them, starting at about age 5. There was no one else to do it. No one prepared meals, there was domestic violence at times, and all this despite that her father had become a prominent doctor with a thriving practice.
Of course, money helped, even when indifferently used. After her mother died of cancer, nannies were hired and the physical care got a lot better. Dad remained emotionally unavailable and remarried twice, to women with no maternal bone in their bodies, the last of which basically ejected his biological children from the family in favor of her own.
So while poverty was a hideous overlay in your case, I think the biggest harm done to you was emotional neglect. I would not overlook that. Learn to love yourself so that you can properly love (and trust!) others who are worthy of your love.
Good luck with your wonderful new career, and I hope your life provides you in spades with everything you lacked as a child. You're right -- YOU did this, not some sky fairy who wasn't there to look out for you all through your childhood.
mordant
Level 8
Feb 16, 2019
2
And you deserve all the credit! I could never understand why people want to credit everything good that they work hard for to some invisible force god. And everything bad that happens in their life they blame themselves or circumstances, but never their god. Congratulations on rising above your difficulties and I hope your journey of positive growth continues. Lots of happiness!
Barnie2years
Level 8
Aug 29, 2018
0
That's incredible. You are an inspiration to many.
Naills1675
Level 6
Aug 12, 2018
1
Congratulations. You have overcome so much to become who you are today. I deserve all that's good in this life. The sky's the limit!! ?
AdorkableMe
Level 7
Aug 12, 2018
1
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