I have had the same experience. They even tell me they liked my profile which states I am not interested in any type of commitment and still they try. They do not seem to care who I am or what matters to me either, unbelievable and reeks of desperation!

Yeah, that's annoying I'm sure. It's a complex problem, too. Guys are supposed to be the ones to put their necks out there when meeting. Because of that, we are supposed to be brave and handle the constant rejection inherent in that kind of set up. Some people build odd algorithms to deal with the problem - just carpet bomb the profiles and see who responds, find attractive people and try to say something that fits the texture of romance seen in pop culture, go online and vent hopping someone is feeling maternal... most of the approaches are inefficient and hint at social maladjustment. I'm sure it's no party for women either.

As long as we default to these cultural norms, this is the result. I could think of some better ways for us to do this stuff, but few want to change. So, here we are stuck on the proverbial hamster wheel.

Maybe tell people in your profile to connect with you in posts prior to hitting on you. You can then shut them down in posts. If they don't connect with you there first, then they didn't read your profile and just delete straight away. That could minimize you having to review the contacts and keep things social. It wouldn't fix anything, but it might help.

Best of luck to you!

Most cis, hetero men just go for the profile photo of the cutest, youngest female they can find, and often begin trying to seduce them asap by any means possible.

If they do read a profile..wait. I've never encountered a male who ever read mine first before messaging me.

Don’t get any messages as I don’t have time for bullshit. I find dating utter bullshit.

I'm here because I enjoy the people here. If the other thing happens, great. If not, no worries. It's all good.

You make some really great points. Food for thought. I think it’s important to make friends and then build relationships.

♥ I have a rant post similar to yours. Lol! A lot of guys don't care what you want or what's in your profile. I sometimes block someone every time I log in. Believers are the worst and you should report them. What makes it worthwhile is once you get the losers blocked and out of the way. You get to interact with all the really cool people on the site. Xoxo .

I've always had the view that 'here for community' just means not actively looking for "love" or whatever, but that doesn't exclude making friends or connections with others. I think it would be mistake to assume that here for community-ers are secretly looking for a relationship or some affair of some kind. If they are looking for that why not just say so. As a here for community-er, if I were really looking for that I wouldn't conceal it.

I am about to change to "here for community" myself, as i seem to have fallen in love with a friend right here under my feet. Others put that because they are married or otherwise involved....

I will visit profiles generally as a result of a like or a comment. People visit mine as well. I have sent some messages to a couple of people and have had some wonderful conversations. If I am going to be out and about I have announced that usually If anybody wants to hang out for a bit. I may ask someone if they would like to have lunch. Don’t read more into that than it is. It’s just lunch and conversation. If anybody is visiting my area and they want to go out I will do my best best to make that happen. Again please don’t read more into it that it is. Now if you were to message me and want to go fishing in the ocean, then I will get excited and try to arrange a nice charter. If anyone just wants organize a meet up. I say the more the better. That being said I am a bit on the shy side and mean no I’ll intentions for my visits or messages. If I were to misbehave I expect to be called out for bad behavior. But I don’t think that is likely. So if your in the area and want to bend a rod I say I’m in. ?

Do whatcha gotta, block who you have to. And have fun YOUR way !

Matter of perspective.

As a guy living in the middle of nowhere, this website is primarily a tool to enjoy the input from rational (not theists) people and troll the occasional theist that leaves his slime trail on these pages.

Sounds to me like you have a good attitude about everything. Keep it up!

Life is an adventure, it's not a guided tour. Maybe start a dedicated chat room? There's no way to filter the world that I know of. It is what it is. You put up with people and people put up with you. That's how it works.

What about one night stands or flings? Lol

There was a post earlier today that I am guessing was talking about the same person. Apparently, he has said that exact thing to several women on this site. I doubt he will be here much longer. He definitely wouldn’t be here if people reported and/or blocked.

My profile is pretty clear about my intentions. I have been here since January. I have had only a couple of people be flirtatious at all in private message and none that were obnoxious.

You have every right to be flirtatious yourself... And there will always be people who misinterpret playful flirting as intention or interest.

As for me, I am unashamed of how quickly I will block idiots like that. As soon as two or three women say that someone is behaving like a troll, I prophylactically block them. Like @AMGT mentioned, and as I wholeheartedly agree, it can greatly improve one’s experience here.

Sometimes we forget how hard it can be when one is attractive when there are so few of you remaining. That is a problem that I would like to experience. I hope your post gives you some relief. Peace.

I assume most people take them seriously... Or I hope they do at least... One bad apple and all that... And ironically. The original phrase was that one bad apple DOES spoil the bunch, despite what the popular song may claim. Lol

I do read the profiles but wait for a woman to contact me and not vice versa. I like my partners or playmates be open to me and not pressured by me.

I honestly had no idea this was a dating site when I signed up. I heard about it on our local atheist FB page and I thought I would check it out. I don’t think about it that much as a dating site but have enjoyed the community. Of course, if I happened to meet a great guy.. that would be fine too.

I think I'm the majority here who do take someones community status seriously, it's a shame about the few. It's easier for a man without the harassment the women seem to have to endure. I don't really believe there's much potential in dating sites anyway, the anonymity gives the crazies a chance to shine. I've said I'm open to meeting women as you just never know but I'm not too serious about that side of things, especially with most of you hotties being half a planet away!! Community only is probably more accurate, but it feels like an uneccessary restriction. If I was a woman in the same circumstances I imagine I'd quite quickly be ditching the dating option too! But yeah anyone I get to know and meet while I'm visiting the provinces (sorry, couldn't resist ? ), let's just be friends and have a scream with no amorous undertones. If real chemistry took over I'd have some expensive life changing decisions to just do but thats no way to plan a holiday! I guess I should be updating my placeholder profile info rather than typing here I've got a bit carried away and hijacked your topic sorry!

It should not be a big deal at all. I think we are here to talk, otherwise I don't see any other. Dating? Even when living in the same city is hard with busy life and hectic schedule. My point is, you talk to whoever for as long as it suits you. The minute the conversation goes off the road then you are in control and its your choice to stop talking. We all are adults but I understand there will be always the troll or weirdo pushing the envelope. Those you block and there is no need to feel bad about it. Again, I think its important for you and everyone who see not so pleasant reactions from conversations that you are the one in control. Of course there are basic common sense rules that go without saying like never never never release personal details or information like phone number and address if that person has not fully earned trust. Long story short, keep talking and don't penalize everyone because of few bad apples. Take care ?

The whole God thing makes me wonder if such things don't come from bots. While it has never happened on here, I do sometimes get contacts from "women" saying that I am just the man they are looking for but it is clear that they never read my profile and am very much NOT their ideal match. Catfishing, phishing, Nigerian Prince and IRS scams... these are annoyances of the internet age.

It is also true that there are quite a lot of really attractive women on here, made more attractive by being intelligent, thoughtful and not full of strange ideas that were never even theirs to begin with. Although I am in a happy relationship and am not looking to date, sometimes I secretly wish that I were free to date, or wish that I had found this place when I was dating.

I dunno. Some dudes like to cast a wide net. If he can't take no for an answer, that's on him.

Will you marry me? <JK> LOL!