I've always had the view that 'here for community' just means not actively looking for "love" or whatever, but that doesn't exclude making friends or connections with others. I think it would be mistake to assume that here for community-ers are secretly looking for a relationship or some affair of some kind. If they are looking for that why not just say so. As a here for community-er, if I were really looking for that I wouldn't conceal it.

♥ I have a rant post similar to yours. Lol! A lot of guys don't care what you want or what's in your profile. I sometimes block someone every time I log in. Believers are the worst and you should report them. What makes it worthwhile is once you get the losers blocked and out of the way. You get to interact with all the really cool people on the site. Xoxo .

You make some really great points. Food for thought. I think it’s important to make friends and then build relationships.

I'm here because I enjoy the people here. If the other thing happens, great. If not, no worries. It's all good.

Don’t get any messages as I don’t have time for bullshit. I find dating utter bullshit.

Most cis, hetero men just go for the profile photo of the cutest, youngest female they can find, and often begin trying to seduce them asap by any means possible.

If they do read a profile..wait. I've never encountered a male who ever read mine first before messaging me.

Yeah, that's annoying I'm sure. It's a complex problem, too. Guys are supposed to be the ones to put their necks out there when meeting. Because of that, we are supposed to be brave and handle the constant rejection inherent in that kind of set up. Some people build odd algorithms to deal with the problem - just carpet bomb the profiles and see who responds, find attractive people and try to say something that fits the texture of romance seen in pop culture, go online and vent hopping someone is feeling maternal... most of the approaches are inefficient and hint at social maladjustment. I'm sure it's no party for women either.

As long as we default to these cultural norms, this is the result. I could think of some better ways for us to do this stuff, but few want to change. So, here we are stuck on the proverbial hamster wheel.

Maybe tell people in your profile to connect with you in posts prior to hitting on you. You can then shut them down in posts. If they don't connect with you there first, then they didn't read your profile and just delete straight away. That could minimize you having to review the contacts and keep things social. It wouldn't fix anything, but it might help.

Best of luck to you!

I have had the same experience. They even tell me they liked my profile which states I am not interested in any type of commitment and still they try. They do not seem to care who I am or what matters to me either, unbelievable and reeks of desperation!

I immediately block people who message me and have on their profile that they are "believers".
It weeds out the scammers who are just looking for vulnerable people to exploit.
If they can't get the believer/non-believer part right in their profile on an Agnostic website, they aren't worth my time.

My status has always been "Here For Community".
I have only been approached with overt solicitations, for anything other than friendship, twice.
Most of the long-time members here are extremely respectful of the status of others. The two times I was "hit-up", were both by members who were brand new.

One person was polite and backed off immediately when I explained that I was not here for dating, and I was flattered, but uninterested, in his intentions.
The other, not so much, and had to be blocked.

I don't know if it's because I don't have an actual picture of myself posted, or if it's because I'm older, or because my status actually registers, or they've read some of posts and decided "fuck no!", it doesn't matter. The fact remains that I'm only here for community, and if someone chooses to ignore that, they get what they get. I don't have to be nice. Neither do you.
Some folks don't handle rejection well. Too bad, they should have respected that you aren't interested.

There are people who don’t understand what this site is for.... just block or ignore. I have found a lot of people who just want community... keep looking. I am open to both so, it is a bit different for me.

Ha. I guess I obviously can't speak for everyone but yes.
Of course I actually don't really view this as a dating site either.

Sorry about your unfortunate need to block people but do what you must to make it enjoyable for you. That should be all that counts

You are right to be disturbed. Still, there are a lot of people who are on this site for sharing thoughts , intellectual stimulation, and interesting conversation. When I look at a person's profile, I am looking for more information as to whether or not this is a person I would be interested in conserving with over time.

Playing hard to get eh?
Just kidding, that must cheapen an otherwise great site

It's interesting. I am looking for all of the above. I am on dating sites too, which can be a hot mess. So finding this site can be encouraging to people who are looking to date people with deeper like-minded connections, as opposed to just shallow photo swiping. That said, I think it can be an interesting little hybrid opportunity between online and traditional ways of meeting people. If you just look for friends who share similar thinking and ideologies, it could create more relationships and groups in the real world and then if any romantic relationships get found out of that, it could be nice, a little more like the old school real world of dating.

If you want guys to stop hitting on you, change your profile pic to something hideous - like Church Lady. I'm surprised anyone is talking to me at this point.

I think its simply - they just don't read the profile, don't understand it, don't think you are serious, or want to try anyway. No big mystery here.

Post a pretty thumbnail & that will happen.

If I see someone has indicated that they're here for community, I take it to mean exactly that. I'm certainly not going to second guess them nor disrespect their reasons for socializing as they wish. I have vacillated a wee bit between "looking" and "community," myself, as I adjust to being single after the traumatic break up of a 17 year marriage. The last thing I want to do is bring old baggage on a new journey.

I laughed when I read this. I just visited a page where a woman said she was only here for community then said she liked to be spanked and has always wanted to have sex in a beetle. Some pretty mixed signals. I think your dilemma is not unique to this site. As a man it is always a little confusing to approach a woman or not and what is a brush off/how to read body language. A never ending battle/game for sure.

I my self am here for both community and the possibility of meeting a like minded, non-delusional individual. Sorry that you have to suffer with individuals who are to lazy to take the time to read your profile. The first thing I do when I see someone I am possibly interested in is read their profile.....duh!!!!!

although I put down here for Community only,if I should so happen to meet someone that would be fine. I am single. I just don't put myself too far out there. To be honest, I've given up on any and all dating sites.

What ... stop say what. He prayed for you? Well thats a funny turn.

What do you expect when posting on a dating site? People here are interested in finding a real person. To act so haughty is simply bullying men.

I think it is how this site is advertised. It said that it was a "dating" site, and when I got here it seemed that is a bit inaccurate. This looks more like a forum, which is fine, and if forum members start dating, that's bonus, right.