Can we at least mention the elephant in the room? That being how religion has instructed the cultural values so that women withhold sexual availability. Now we have men becoming mass murderers in response to their frustration.

As long as the underlying issues are self-censored, we shouldn't expect any improvement, and indeed, a worsening.

The corollary is that women also suffer as a result of their fear and inhibitions.

Interestingly enough I just finished reading "The Power" by Naomi Alderman. It's a futuristic novel about just this kind of role reversal.

Front cover blurbs include Margaret Atwood and Barack Obama.

That must be a powerful learning experience for the men. Thanks!

I would certainly say that some men only learn when it happens to the women they love. Then it all clicks. It clicked for me the minute I found out my former spouse was carrying my daughter. I'm kind of ashamed about that. But, we're getting better as a society. More progressive and diverse. Much in the way that religion is becoming more and more unpopular. Not that religion is the only thing to blame. This is just as much on our fathers, but not as much as it is on us indidually. Men need to teach their sons to respect women. They deserve it.

I used to take the same bus home at the same time every day. It stopped right in front of my building. I was stalked by someone who had gotten to know my schedule, where I lived, and the building I worked in. I started varying which buses I took and taking the train sometimes instead.

My daughter grew up with two brothers. She has a mean streak from being teased by her Bros and their friends. She took 4 years of Ninjutsu with her Military Intelligence father. He thought she would benefit by not being afraid of hitting or being hit. She added Crossfit when she started College. She went to Europe alone for 7 weeks when she was 19 and had a great time with a Europass and a youth hostel itinerary she set up on line. Most American girls don't go to the ladies' room alone at that age. I overheard her talking with a girlfriend as they got ready to go out to YBOR City in Tampa. They close the streets at night and all the older kids and young adults party. My daughter's friend asked her if she wasn't afraid to wear such a blatently sexy outfit to YBOR. My daughter answered that dressing that way was considered aggressive. She pointed out that predators were after prey, not confident strong girls. It's not just the boys that need to be raised differently. Girls need to learn how to fight. I don't mean catfighting. I mean the kind that puts a potential rapist in the hospital.

Thank you, I never heard that before.

The thing about this issue that sickens me is that I'm automatically labeled as a potential threat, by virtue of my gender. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone... but how do I show that? Wear an "Absolutely Harmless, Trust Me" t-shirt?

I think Dr. Katz would have more integrity if he had asked the initial question as "What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being assaulted?" Adding the term sexually into the question slants the results towards his desired outcome. Imagine if someone asked the question to woman how many of them worry about being kicked in the balls and used that as the premise to some point they were trying to make about how life is unfair towards men. That is not to minimize the actual increased danger towards smaller people less capable of defending themselves while at the same time being more of a target. Just a comment on the leading low integrity way in which points are typically made today. I think they should make all doctorate candidates performing and publishing research to take courses in ethics and acknowledge the damage of leading people to their perspective through planned deceit.

That's painful to read. Reminds me of the years I was bullied.
I always had a knife, watching for trouble constantly when I went outside. Wore clothes it would be easy to sprint in, left the school at lunch so I could eat in peace and barely make it back in time to avoid people. Getting home afterwards involved leaving from different doors, taking long trips around town to throw them off.

It was awful, but it ended and the worst that could happen was they'd use me for target practice with rocks. I can't imagine what I'd be like to live with that sense of pursuit my entire life.

Not that it's entirely safe now.
Once or twice a year I get chased by a pack of shouting, barking young men when I jog. Strangers, probably harmless, not that I'll ever let them catch me to find out.

Wow! I just read the comments. Back in 2008 I went to China for a month. I was in Chengdu (where the pandas are) At 10:30PM I did what any Australian man would do and walked a lady to the bus stop. We went through a park. The lighting in Chinese parks is solar and so not very bright. But enough to see the path and recognise people. To my surprise there were young women walking through the park by themselves. Why am I reading all these comments from women in the "land of the free"? Perhaps you should live in a uncivilised country with no "freedoms".

I've read, I think, the majority of posts here (62).
The ladies' posts are a majority of descriptions of traumatic experiences happening to themselves, a daughter, or a friend. So, is this a true sample of the day-to-day reality for most women? Or, is this a place that attracts victims. I'm asking this in a non-judgemental mindset. Please don't be offended.

Thank you for the reminder.. I do try and have empathy for this, but its good to see things from another's point of view every so often.

A few days after i was assaulted when i was 12 by a family friend who lived with us, i had to go to an official police interview. When getting ready, my mother told me not to wear bright lipstick. "We don't want them [the police] thinking you were asking for it."

I quit wearing feminin or revealing clothes at that point.

This makes me smad (sad and mad.)

Every morning I get dressed and ask my partner, "Is this ok? Not too revealing, not too short?" For exactly that reason.

To the extent even 15 year old kings vested by god will go to make sure there will be no queen ruling the land. He, he, ha, he. And he Died!!!! Granted the grown men educating him and managing the country for him had a lot to do with his behavior.

Leave it to you Hippiechick58. Props.
I bought 2 properties with acreage so I don't have to deal with humanity. One is located in a sparsely populated area. I have self defence training so I worry little for myself. My advise to "him"? DON"T!

For the benefit of the men reading this thread, I feel like I should add: I don't generally smile at men I don't know. It's not because I "hate" men in general, or even that I don't trust men in general--it's that I care so much about potentially catching the eye of the one person that maybe wants to hurt me that I don't have anything left to invest in caring about the hundreds of people whose feelings are maybe hurt because I didn't smile back at them.

Honestly, IDNGAF if you think I'm a stuck-up bitch. I care about staying alive, and unraped, unbeaten, unstalked, unharassed. It's worth it. Anyone who wants to guilt me over this is not someone I want to be around.

We know what kind of scum Brett Kavanaugh and Donald Trump are, we know exactly what their kind are like and we shun them for the twisted and perverted weaklings that they are. Please don't make the mistake of lumping us in with the misogynists because we aren't, we're feminists just like you. Don't accept all women as feminists by default either, we know that isn't the case, many are more sexist against their sisters than Brett Kavanaugh ever could be and they do this consciously.

Bullshit ! That's how we all stay safe from any crime. Your paranoid! You need to back away from the #MeToo for a short.

This is excellent. Thanks for sharing

I am boggled and not surprised at the same time. Honestly, just because you reached a certain age doesn't mean that you stop learning.

The right post at the right time. I am a man who actually tries to imagine all the safety measures a woman has to think about and I could only come up with maybe a quarter of the precautions listed here. Frightening and frustrating AF!

It’s really very easy to see things from your own perspective. I can honestly say that I’ve never thought about protecting myself from any kind of sexual attack, but I’m very conscious of what could happen to my daughter. I’m aware of the possibilities, but this is an eye opener. Thanx.