i didn't fall in love the first dozen times i met my guy. he didn't fall in love with me even after i fell in love with him (well he eventually did!) we've been together 18 years. spark shmark. sparks are overrated. fall in friendship first.

g

You should know within the first 15 min of your first date if you should ask her out again or not. If you didn't feel a connection by the end of the entire date, I don't recommend asking her out again. Pay attention and listen to your intuition.

I think too many people too quickly toss others aside. If you had a nice time, go out again. Make it something less like a date and work on getting to know her. I hate that people think it has to be love at first sight or it's not worth the time. My first boyfriend I was not attracted to at all when we met, but we became good friends and eventually it became more. Don't give up too easily.

Oh, and I truly value the advice from this site. I mean, now if I make a stupid mistake in dating, now I have a whole community to blame for it!

It depends on what your options are rether possibilities. If you have prospects lined up like bowling pins, then move on. If (like me) someone fun to hang with would be welcome, tell her that.

Yes, you should ask her out again and see where it goes. If you had enough conversation and connection to have a relaxed first date, it's worth the effort for a second date.

Passion is over-rated. There really needs to be so much more to make a relationship work. If she isn't feeling it, she will probably say no - which won't be the end of the world for you. If you can have a relationship not based on physical chemistry- please become my dating coach and possibly my life coach. Thanks.

In my book, good company and good conversation are wonderful things, and you can’t have too many friends! I count myself lucky in that I have, and have had, a lot of great, non-romantic friendships with women. Often, their perspectives and advice have been most useful.

If you enjoyed her company, why not go out again. Whether or not there's chemistry, at least you've got a nice friend. Of course, if you can't see her in that capacity either, then maybe not.

Back in the olden days before the internet and couples met through friends, parties or at work, I recall this work colleague. Now he was plain as plain looking but he had a great sense of humour and a hint of wickedness (irrisitable to me). Anyway my attraction for him grew and grew as I got to know him. We flirted and you could light a match to the unresolved sexual tension. Finally we went out and the fireworks were electric. After a few months it fizzled, we weren't suited in other ways. So I don't put a lot of weight on the 'chemistry' bit when it was just a single meeting.

Thank you, everyone for your wisdom and valuable perspectives. As I feared, there are varying responses and different perspectives. But that's life..... I think I am going to ask her out again and see what happens. It's only a second date. What can possibly go wrong, right? No. Don't answer that. Please.

I have met several men via online dating. The one benefit of it is that you can weed out those who are obviously scammers, opportunists, looking for casual sex, or simply not compatible on an intellectual level. The best advice I can give is to simply drop the agenda. If you find through conversing that you have enough mutual interest to meet in person, simply enjoy the interaction with another human being. You will have the time to further explore common interests and maybe develop a friendship. Also, keep in mind that even though the person you meet may not be “the one”, you may meet someone through that person who captures your attention on a deeper level. Many people have met their partners through mutual acquaintances.

On the other hand, if you meet and find yourself wishing you were at home catching up on your laundry or binge watching your favorite show for the umpteenth time, run like hell.

i'm going to respond (even as late as this, when you've made your decision, which i think is a good one, by the way) to everyone who separates friends from lovers.

if you're not friends, why the hell do you want to be in a relationship? you want to date, maybe marry, someone who isn't a friend? how do you trust someone who isn't a friend? and by the way, women are not an alien race.

if you just want sex, there are people who are into that, and some don't even charge a fee, but then why bother dating, why bother chatting?

if you want a relationship, don't dismiss friendship. it's a good basis for WHATEVER else does or doesn't happen.

i could've sworn i had more to say but it's threeish in the morning. i'll stop here and wish you, ken, the best of luck!

g

However.. I think that you should give it another try..probably a few times..to see how you feel. .and how she feels..

After one date, your know virtually nothing about her. If you enjoyed her company and wish to find out who she really is, you have to invest more time and sharing of who you both are.

Rome was not built in a day.

As the bard says "Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" But perhaps love is not what you want, but companionship. Someone with similar taste in music, art, follows the same team?

You might end up with a new friend

Ask her out again, you can't be positive after only one. If you are still talking after one date couldnt be that bad.

I feel that I"m a lot like you.. I"m lost in the dating field.. I'm not sure how I feel and i have no clue how the "date" feels... I feel totally inadequate.. when it comes to dating... like sticking my head in a blender lol

Unless you just want a female friend..if there was no chemistry then , well as I said ..have a nice friend.The downside...if you go on more dates , that have the same outcome ...you could end up with a veritable harem of female friends .This has happened to me ..the reason you go out is to hopefully click ..not to accrue a ethora of pen pals .Hope this has helped ....

Sooo... How did the 2nd date go? No follow up? Are you married yet? Hehehe...

If you don't know then she's not the one for you.
That's if you're looking for passion and such person. If you're simply looking for good company or pleasure you have it.

If you're seeking more, you would know exactly what to do when the right person and moment comes.

Dude. Just talk to her about it. Be open and up front. See how she feels about it, and decide between the two of you whether to move forward or not (or how to move forward etc).

Which site did you use?