Tell him you already have one asshole in your pants, and you don't need another one. there is no comeback for that. If that doesn't work, HR.

You're asking the question, but you already know the answer. Trust your gut, Laura. Good luck, hon.

Only you can decide how assertive you are comfortable being. I work in a hospital and have had a lot of come ons from married men. In my hospital, when docs have affairs the partner gets fired and the doc gets a slap on the wrist. When a doc asked me if i liked being choked i asked him if his wife enjoys it. Another married doc kept asking me to go places, and every time i asked if his wife was coming. He said she didnt have to know so i said that if you're hiding it from someone you care about, it's wrong. I find that continually looping their inappropriate comments back to their spouse makes them get frustrated and move on. No rocking the boat. Its not like HR will do anyyhing at my hospital.

There’s plenty of advice already posted. It sounds like you’ve already told him you’re not interested in anything more than a professional relationship. The next inappropriate contact must be reported to HR, although I understand that women’s complaints about harassment often are discounted and you have to be prepared for an inadequate response. . He’s putting you in an uncomfortable position. Protect yourself in anyway you must.Find allies at work. Keep his texts as evidence.

You don't have to be willing to put up with his unwonted attentions just to work with him. Ask yourself which you would prefer: putting up with his advances for the year(s) to come; or feeling the residual tension if you tell him that you wouldn't go out with him even if he wasn't married. Sometimes a stiff distance is better than a touchy-feely closeness on the job.

let's keep this professional...........

Back in the day I handled this first by saying "I don't date co-workers". Period.

It later bit me in the ass with single co-workers. lol
But in today's work environment it's not a bad way to present it.

If it happens even once more? I'd say go to a superior. Frankly it's harassment. That's why companies have seminars.

Inform him that what he is doing is legally classified as sexual harrassment, and there are policies in place concerning that behavior in the workplace. Futhermore, you respect his ability as a fellow nurse, but do not appreciate his "compliments", and if they don't cease you will be forced to lodge a harrassment complaint with HR.

You don't need to overreact, and if you do he may well accuse you of misconstruing him being friendly. I think you know what you need to say - in a nice way tell him that there are professional boundaries you would like to stick to and some of his comments have caused you embarrassment. That should probably do it without too much awkwardness. If he ever says he would like to know you better than just as a work colleague, that's your chance to say "Great, how about introducing me to your wife and kids?".

Let this guy know emphatically that you do NOT seek relationships beyond professional interactions with married men. Especially at work. Inform him that all communication between you moving forward will be work related and professional or you will escalate the matter to your HR department.

He sounds horribly manipulative and dishonest. The fact that he's as willing to hurt his wife by cheating speaks to his gross lack of character. I wouldn't want to even be friends with this creep. I pity the poor woman he tricked into marrying him. I'd give him exactly one warning to back off before reporting his behavior.

My original comment was sent at 57 comments and counting... now it is 91. I don't know about this guy or how you will decide to manage going forward but boy, at least you should thank him for getting about a zillion points on this thread !!!

Tell him to stop and that you are friendly only in a work sort of way. Be firm but polite and then watch him like a hawk. Watch to see if he is going to lie on you or undermine you in any way. If he does, then you have to take this to a higher level and that is not always fun because it affects the work place situation. Some men take a hint. Others are total assholes.

Threaten to tell his wife publicly, if he doesn't stop, and if your employer doesn't
handle it to your satisfaction.
Print out all communications with him. Show him you have it (have copies in case he snatches what you show him--cover your ass).
Tell him if he doesn't leave you alone, and not interfere with the
work environment, you will give his wife everything.

Get a lawyer and prepare to sue him and your employer. You might need to.
Especially since his behavior is effecting your work environment.
Who knows? He may have done the same thing to some of your coworkers.

When people start shit with others (bullies), they don't expect their victims to fight back. I don't believe in simply fighting back. That usually doesn't put a stop to it.
You have to come back with scorched earth. Blow up their world. They don't expect that.

STOP being nice to assholes. Ruin THEIR lives. They don't care about what
they do to yours.

Just say whats on your mind strait forwardly. You have the impression that he is hitting on you even if it is not what h intends, that you do not want him in your space, not interested in sharing personal information or closeness and tell him to keep an appropriate topic as working associates.

Meet it head on.. tactfully let him know that his behavior makes you uncomfortable..you have every right a work environment of harassment... he is seeing how far he can go with you...let him know if he cannot control his behavior then you will have inform Human Resources of the situation... it’s always best if you have witnesses, but that is not always the case, nonetheless, don’t let this grow and really get out of hand... you know being in the medical profession “ the best cure is prevention “ ... best wishes.....

I would just be open n truthful and tell this person in no uncertain terms your beliefs preclude u from any relationship with a married person

***I am sorry that you are being sexually harassed at work...I talked my girls who have been in similar situations, and Wee think this character is taking advantage of your sensitive, kind nature...He has no concept of Love & Romance(he is sexual preditore ), and perhaps you ought to use social defense; and straight him ought since he is clearly violating your social boundaries.....Look him in the eye and say " you are not type - now back off, or I will take action "...Women who are shy and sensitive are often prayed upon by sexual aggressors who see your nature as a weakness... He has history with his sick, behavior problem.... .......I noticed you write and think well, and I would Love to, perhaps, have on going discussion with you because you are interesting....Have an awesome day/night.....Bye for now, Ron...

A really good burn. "Your pants are gonna look great when your wife throws them into your yard after I tell her what you just said to me, bitch!"

Yikes....worked in the OR for almost 20 years and I've seen plenty of bad behavior. Usually doctors and nurses. Skipped the Christmas parties because we couldn't bring a date and the open bar was a recipe for Monday stories. Harassment was everywhere. Not OK. Today is a different day. My advice...you already told him strait that you are not interested.....F' off....he didn't listen...go to HR. Maybe that we prevent him from harassing a new nurse or tech who is less savvy in negotiating the social minefield we both know the OR often is....

Be polite but you must set the boundaries. Tell him his behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable and it is totally inappropriate in the workplace. YOU Have done nothing wrong at all but I know this situation still makes us women feel guilty. We women all know how he will react " oh I was only joking. Can't you take a joke?'. Then you say "well lets ask your wife how hilarious she finds it".
Maintain your dignity. He knows he is out of line.

I'm not attacking you. But this culture of putting ourselves (women) last in these matters makes me sick. Please try not to worry about "creating tension"! You did not create it. He did. You are only responding to his actions. None of this is your fault. You may tell me you don't feel it's your fault, but by your very statements, you're automatically feeling responsibilities for HIS BEHAVIOR. Ugh!!!
It's not up to you to make this all nice.....

@Allikat tell your story, girl

I started working for a company that was contracted into another bigger company and we were maintenance as well as the company has their own maintenance group only men and my contracted in company was all women I started working and a man in maintenance saw me and liked what he saw he was singing Hot Pockets as he walked by me every time and I didn't think anything of it every day I worked with these woman I talked about my boyfriend this man continued to try to talk to me and the same as you I thought that he was trying to be friendly and I was trying to be friendly back he started to kind of hit on me and in front of my old co-workers He Slipped me a piece of paper with his Snapchat name on it I stupidly added him and he told me I had a nice phat ass. I told him thank you but I wasn't interested and I went to work the next day and told two of the girls about it and they told me he was married and had three children I didn't know any of that because he had taken his wedding ring off since I had shut him down he he gave me the cold shoulder and acted very butthurt so I thought I was going to be left alone little did I know that hit had very much hurt his ego he continued to sing Hot Pockets while he was around me and I was wearing a pair of workout leggings just like you and the man was walking behind me one day and the locker area and started making butt squishing noises at every step I took I was mortified and decided that myself I would confront him and I did I told him that it was rude and I was embarrassed by him making those comments at me and the I did not deserve to be treated that way he apologized and I walked away from him to my locker he followed me to my locker continuing to try and apologize as a compliance manager overheard all of this and stepped in between us and stopped everything that was happening I spoke to this manager in private and I told him everything that had happened and that I didn't want to create problems with either working environment and that I would not report this incident little did I know that he would be talked to and told to leave me alone a week after he continued making hot pocket comments and then the week after that as I was cleaning the floors he decided to stop the dirt off of his boots before he went into the locked off area of the building I had had enough and decided that I was going to make a report and I was going to tell them everything from the very beginning I was told by this company that there was nothing that they could do they would tell him to leave me alone again and that I could change my entire schedule so I would not be in as much of an area that he would be in but in the end there was nothing that the company could actually do about it please be very cautious of what you do outside of work things can go badly I put in my two weeks and they only let me work two days before they told me that they wouldn't need me anymore I made a mistake and I'm paying for it don't make the same mistakes

We're all human. We all make mistakes and sometimes take things too far. Sometimes, we're a little overly driven to compensate for things that are lacking in our lives and some may not have a good example to follow. Maybe we're just in a bad place and are making some bad choices because our judgment is impaired.

A couple of good suggestions in the comments. Especially BeccaVa. Some things to consider: How will management respond to a complaint? Who does management favor more: you or him? How have they handled other complaints? Have other complaints been filed for this guy? Also, what's his wife like? Is she a willing participant? Are they swingers? Or would there be hell to if she found out?

Whatever you do, how you respond makes all the difference. Be direct, blunt and assertive to the source of the problem. Not easy or fun, but necessary. If that doesn't work, find out what does and approach it in a strategic, thoughtful and measured manner to resolve the problem quickly and efficiently. I used to get angry when I had to deal with other peoples problems but then I learned I just had to get better at dealing with them because they never go away.

Hope this helps.