Hmmm, I'd go to the service.

I know, just hear me out. There's a tricky line to walk now. You want to be embarrassing, but not humiliating to your family. Just enough to send a message. But it's your brother's big day, so play it carefully. And you have to appear a willing, nay, slightly over-enthusiastic participant.

So, slightly over-dress. Put on after-shave liberally. Stand up and sit down just a bit too late. Smile at everyone. When people kneel for prayer, use this as an opportunity to check out the fellow parishioners like an alert meerkat. You don't need to participate in the prayers, but appear respectful. Sing the hymns enthusiastically, and if you don't have the greatest voice, double your volume. When the collection plate comes, noisily empty a large container of change into it.

At the end of the service, be super-fiendly, and super-truthful. You're here to support your brother and because your family insisted, but no, you don't attend church because you don't believe in God. If anyone presses you about your non-belief, just tell them sorry, but you're here for your brother and you don't want to be a distraction or an embarrassment on his big day, but your family kinda insisted on your presence. If that's a problem, perhaps they'd like to take it up with your family.

Good luck.

I've been declared Satan himself when I declined to go to a church gathering with some of my family when they asked why I wouldn't go with them I told them Because I am Atheist and that I would be a hypocrite if I did then they your Satan I said alrighty then and since that time I am no longer ask to any thing involving that part of the family and wax asked to please leave because the one in questioned was going where I was and that if they seen me their they wouldn't come The Anti waltons

You should have told them you would google the website...all churches post their times on the web...or not go...they are quite passive-aggressive...beat them at their game

So, did you go to the church?

Well that was a dick move. Blow it off for your brother's sake, and text them to text you back when they get there. If they don't do it, go to a bar.

Crimeny, sad to hear. Hopefully you let them know that they have betrayed you, and that they are becoming one of those horrible families whose love has conditions on it. Tell them they seem to value a religion, an idea, a thought, more than their own family. That's not right. Thats is not how it's supposed to be!

"Valuing an idea more than a human being." Let that sink in. When people value an idea more than a human being that gives them permission to hurt that human being to protect that idea. That is logically, morally, and ethically wrong! This is what leads to the ripping apart of families, the hurting and killing of people by religion, and ultimately every act of terrorism. Every act of terrorism has at its core the idea that religion and God is more valuable than someone's life. That. Is. WRONG. They are doing and supporting something wrong!

Tell them your love for them is always unconditional, and not even their mistreatment of you caused by their deranged beliefs in their harmful religion has the power to destroy it. You would never choose religion over them, over family. In fact, you value them more than any idea of god. You would never betray them as they have betrayed you. You value Family more than Religion...but they apparently do not. And they should be ashamed.

Oof, well isn’t that some childish bullshit.
I’d call them out on that.

I’d be livid

Seems rather nasty of your family members. I guess you could have called the church yourself to ask.

That’s lame !, was that everyone that was participating in the celebration, or just one or two?

Ignore them

Are you saying that nobody at all will spill the beans?

In future, most churches have websites that tell the times of their services. Otherwise just sleep in late and skip the meal with the family. Sounds like there are probably a lot of passive aggressive landmines in any conversation with them. See your brother separately and buy him a drink, or a bottle (unless he's not legally 'of age'.)

Can’t say that I know what you’re going through (I’ve only told one family member, who probably shares the same beliefs that I do), but I will say that you’re not alone. If it’s any consolation, many of us here are here for you, and would go have lunch with you.

Arrive at the church when the services are over and follow them.

In my experience, when it comes to xtian family members the unconditional love they talk about comes with conditions.

If they don't want you to know, why would you want to sit through a meal with them giving you that attitude? Sounds like they only go to put up an appearance if that's how they act towards their own family, typical of fake christians. Id try to make separate plans with my brother to celebrate with him, if that can't happen just tell him you're sorry they had to treat you that way.

Funny how a religion that teaches love always acts so hateful if your not in their “tribe”

That SUCKS 110% in my opinion.
They seem to have conveniently forgotten about the " Do unto others as you have them do unto you" bit as well as the " Judge not lest you too be judged," don't you think?
With family/friends like that you definitely DO NOT need ENEMIES and that is ONE of the reasons why I turned my back on my 3 remaining siblings.

You've been a "member" of your family for your entire life. Is this "treatment" any different than it's been for the entire time - or have they, you, or both of you, changed M.O.s lately? The reaction I would choose depends on what your present relationship is with your brother, and what you want it to be in the hoped-for future. Except for being "forced" to church - and if you want to maintain a "good" relationship with him - find out what his wishes may be - then you'll have to decide whether you want to comply or not.

Just nasty. I hope that was the only incident. Now they will wondering, "why does Greg hardly ever come to visit?"

Well I don't know who the "they" is who wouldn't tell you the time. But if it were me, I would simply not go. But that is just me. If they refuse to accept my beliefs I refuse to respect theirs.

So?

That should tell you must be doing something right.

But please forgive them for they do not what they are doing.

I would have replied "You don't know either?"

Fuck 'em! Find a way to stay in contact with your brother without the rest of them