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how do you define success?
is it all about money or peace of mind.
my brother is really rich he has 10 rental properties, at 60 years old he's working full-time as an engineer.
and everytime I see him he's so stressed out that I can barely stand to visit with him.
it's like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
I on the other hand,I retired at 55 I live in a 2000 square foot house which is paid for.
I still work for 4 hours a day driving left. other than that I don't work at all.
all my needs are pretty much taken care of have I been successful?

m16566 7 May 15
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0

To me, success means making a positive difference in the world.

When I moved to Wenatchee, WA in 1984, I was appalled that Wenatchee had no homeless shelter for women, the highest school dropout rate, and one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the state. So, as a volunteer, I got to work.

Shelter for Homeless Women and Children

Co-founded the Women's Resource Center, providing shelter and services for homeless women and children. Now a United Way agency, the Women's Resource Center provides housing and services for over 1,600 low income people.

Education for School Dropouts

To reduce the high dropout rate, co-founded an alternative school with childcare. Westside High School graduated over 1,000 seniors in the past 10 years. It is now part of Wenatchee School District.

Reducing Teen Pregnancy

Directed a state-funded program that reduced the teen pregnancy rate from 21% in 1984 to 6% in 2000 in Chelan and Douglas counties. The best thing I did was recruit and train 45 volunteer mother.

Paired one-on-one with teens, the mothers took them to doctor appointments, kept an eye on the baby, taught parenting skills, and encouraged them to return to college.

Sending low income, first generation kids to college

Since 2006, as a volunteer college mentor, I have helped low income, first generation students write essays for college and scholarship applications.

One of my best success stories is Brenda, who won $265,455 in 2016. A junior at Wesleyan University, Brenda is becoming a medical doctor and pathologist.

In June 2018, I took three young women I previously mentored on a hike around Icicle Gorge.

wow that's impressive
there joy in being an empty vessel
I respect your accomplishments

@m16566

Thank you!

I'm not an "empty vessel." Instead, I am an intelligent, organized, high energy person who gets things done.

@m16566 i do not see an empty vessel there! @LiterateHiker is kind not to take offense despite her correcting you (politely); i would consider it an insult and say so. i don't know hiker personally but i know her from her posts here and i can guarantee she is not an empty vessel, or an empty anything! furthermore, that would not be a joyful thing to be at all.

g

@genessa

Thank you, dear.

If I am ever in your presence, I will kiss your feet! You are a bona fide hero! I think the "S" on your undershirt is showing! DAMN! What a woman!

@LiterateHiker Is there something more though, beyond your personal traits? Also financially stable enough and healthy enough (including mentally) to accomplish all those respectable achievements/contributions to society?

@demifeministgal

Have always had high energy and inner drive. Greatest influences:

At age 10, I watched President John F. Kennedy's Inaugural Address. When he said "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country," this hit me in the center of my chest.

Seeing Crushing Poverty

My parents moved us to a lakeside home in Michigan when I was 7. They grew up on nearby lakes. Dad knew Long Lake was slated to be dredged. Barges with giant pipes dredged the lake, depositing muck behind the lake. Riding a bicycle at 12, I stumbled onto a dirt road where the muck was deposited. To my shock, poor people lived there in shacks with dirt floors. Men, women and children stared at me vacantly. It looked like Appalachia a mile from expensive, lakeside homes.

Reading About Different People and Cultures

Growing up, I was a voracious reader. Reading teaches me about different people, cultures, races, countries and points of view. I read extensively: Black literature, South American authors, Gay authors, Russian literature, etc.

Father was a Humanist

Dad was a humanist with black musicians in his band. He was a professional jazz trumpeter from age 14 until he died of cancer at 51. At the Univ. of Mich., I played jazz in the Afro-American Studies Dept. Jazz Workshop. I had the only white face.

Lifelong Athlete

Moved to Washington at age 21 to climb mountains. Have hiked over 200 miles/ year since age 21. An athlete like my mother, I lifted weights, swam laps, ran, hiked and downhill skied.

Got Master of Public Administration degree because I get the greatest reward from doing work that helps other people. While working full time as a YMCA program director for eight years.

YMCA Career Development Program

The YMCA sent me to their national Career Development Program. We learned: 1. Researching community needs. 2. Program development; and 3. Administration and budgeting.

Volunteer Recruitment

At the Tacoma YMCA, I recruited 300 volunteers for the Adapted Aquatic program that I directed. Wrote news releases and appeared on TV and radio. Gave speeches. Made posters with high school art students. Arranged college credit for physical therapy students to get college credit, giving therapy to MS and arthritis patients, with their professor supervising. Arranged free physical therapists from the Arthritis Foundation and Multiple Sclerosis Society to supervise students.

At 23, I got a national award from the YMCA for volunteer recruitment and program development. After graduating, I moved to Wenatchee to marry Terry, a YMCA program director in Wenatchee.

In Wenatchee, I used my YMCA training to identify community needs, recruit volunteer boards of directors and steering committees, and develop programs. It was a group effort.

@LiterateHiker well that was really fortunate that your dad was a humanist. 🙂 I guess I both admire and respect others' achievements but also get jealous and my brain goes see?! they did all that! why haven't you accomplished anything as great?! And my question was trying to shut up my inner critic. 😳 SORRY about that but thanks for your detailed response. 🙂

4

You are successful as long as you have shelter on your head and food on your table, being super wealthy does not make you happy and a successful individual, if your brother have had done his responsibly of human being he would not have 10 rental properties, the real successful human being is the one who share his apple with the one who does not have an apple. it is life and no one take his wealth with him when he die, we as human should share what we have and resources with one and other so that the world will be a better place for everyone to live.

NR92 Level 6 May 16, 2019
4

Love, happiness, and peace of mind -- that's what I want. I'm not rich but I have money. It's a useful tool but that's it.

4

Money is only a means. For me, real happiness is my creative life. I worked at jobs I hated for years because my father convinced me I couldn't make it as an artist. When he died, I realized life is too short to work at a job I hated so I could create. I figured out how to make money doing what I love. I don't make as much money but I'm much happier.

3

If what you are doing works for you, then you have been successful. I actually feel sorry for your brother because life is too short to be stressed at that level...all the time.

3

Dude, you're still comparing yourself to your brother. Sounds to me like you have a ways to go. It'd be nice if you could take pride in your brother's accomplishments without feeling that his successes lessen your own accomplishments.

3

I say we need to stop measuring success in the ways capitalism would have us measure it-- based purely on money and assets. Is that all there is to life? For me personally success is related to my education, my employment and if I have helped others and helped make society a better place. Not related to assets or finances at all, even though I have savings and a great credit score. meh

3

My opinion, success is less about financial successes and elevated state of living. More about general satisfaction in life experiences to date and that we are comfortable in our life today.
In this context, I feel much more "successful" than many with much more material possessions than me.

3

are those the only two choices: money or peace of mind? how about accomplishment other than wealth, such as inventing something useful for the world, or fighting for justice, either of which necessarily provides peace of mind? there are a gazilllion ways to define success that do not involve money or peace of mind.

g

ego ambition and pride are all sources of suffering
certainly there are other kinds of success

@m16566 oh, so martin luther king was acting only out of ego or pride? all ambition, regardless of what kind or for what purpose, causes suffering? i do not buy that. you state that as a fact. it isn't a fact.

g

3

It is totally subjective. If you feel you are successful, that is all that matters.

3

Success is a wholly subjective concept.
You're successful if you believe you are.
What anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

Success isn't anything I've ever been concerned with.
Not even a little bit.

2

Success is being happy with your life even if it is working 100 hour weeks at something you love doing. If you hate your life or hate what you do with it you are unsuccessful... You will live a longer and happier life than your brother barring accidents or illness like cancer so who is in fact more successful in your eyes? In his eyes he probably is but he can't take all that to the grave with him can he?....

2

Don’t know that I would recognize success if I achieved it. It’s mostly relative I guess. I would like to die with the least regrets as possible though.

That's as good a measure of success as any I have heard. I always thought of it as, dying knowing that you have done your best to make the world a better place, but it works even better the other way round in the negative, as you put it.

2

Success is being happy.

2

I would say you both have...... We all are wired differently. It's just as simple as you both have different goals. There's no right or wrong here, as I see it

2

Civilization is when we stop asking "When will be the next meal?" and start to ask "Where will we dinner tonight?".

By analogy, success is when you make this transition to most parts of your life, house, sex, love, family, food, entertainment, health etc according to what is important to you.

2

Dude, you win, hands down! I'm in a similar situation with my brother. I don't remember the last time we just sat and shot the shit! He's the most busy person in the world in his own mind. He's had rectal cancer already, probably due to stress and smokes. The last time I went to his house by invitation to have dinner, he worked through the whole time I was there for about 2 hours. We never had any meaningful conversation. He's also a trumpite so that's a source of friction between us as well. I'm ok in my little house.

2

I define success as happiness. Like your brother, I work my butt off and am quite often stressed out. However, I love what I do and have what I need to live.

2

Success is living Happy and Healthy.

2

Sounds like your brother is an eldest sibling. The poor things can’t help themselves. Maybe when he’s older he’ll learn to relax but don’t hold your breath.

Goofing off is a valuable life skill IMO.

2

One of my oft-times quote that I feel sums up success.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― douglas adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

1

To quote Bob Dylan from an interview somewhere, and here I paraphrase, “Success is waking up in the morning, doing what you want do and then going to sleep when you are ready.”

1

I have less than you do but my "success" is similar to yours. It took lifetime events to put me in this frame I'm in today but I have less stress and that is important. I do not live paycheck to paycheck so I have little worries. In my daily limited job I am around others constantly and deliver auto parts. Privately I avoid most people because being around them and seeing their stress levels makes me want to run away. Life is full of decisions. It does not have to be full of stress.

1

Success = Being happy & contented with what you've got

1

Definitely not your brother. Me thinks he is working himself towards being the richest person in the graveyard.

1

Success is fulfilling a purpose or goal that leads to a feeling of accomplishment or happiness. I guess there are different levels of success though. To some, success is being able to get out of bed every morning. To some it can be a small goal such as taking care of the days chores at home. To some, running their own business that makes a profit is a success. To some, helping others with hunger or their health etc. is a success. Then you have the people who can achieve everything they set out to do and they are not successful or happy because they are chasing something that doesn't make them feel fulfilled. It's like the person who is never happy with the money they make because there is more money to make, or the person who leaves every relationship because they feel they are settling and there is always something better out there for them.

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