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I've shared before that my ex and I broke up because after 14 years of marriage I decided that I didn't believe in God and he couldn't handle it. More specifically, I couldn't handle the anger he had toward me after I told him. I was willing to keep letting him teach the kids creation, I was willing to keep attending church, and I was willing to never study evolution in his presence. I'd say I made quite the effort. Yet after a year of separation he still blames me for the breakup because I wouldn't just tell him that I changed my mind about God and pretend to be a Christian so that we could keep our family together. That I sacrificed my marriage to be an atheist. Is it just me or is that really fucked up logic?

LisaL81 7 May 16
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52 comments (26 - 50)

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2

Fucked up logic indeed. But then again, that's usually the only kind of logic Christians have. It's too be expected. They are never wrong and it's always some else's fault, no matter how clear the evidence to the contrary.

2

You were honest with him. As much as he might not like the new spiritual difference between you, you were honest. That should be honored.
Sounds like you did everything you did to accomodate him... and yet he did nothing. You can thank Religious indoctrination for his fixed ways of being.

Keep on keeping on. You have been honest to yourself - and therefore to the world. A most impressive credential...

2

Unfortunately, life is full of messages like this. How we learn is often accompanied by pain. I have been there many times but there were others issues (like alcohol and emotional instability) rather than religion.

2

You changed your views about religion and attempted to not allow it to influence your relationship, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried, he didn’t. Case closed. It’s all part of a problem stemming from religion…a closed mind.

2

This is probably less about theism as it is about two people changing in ways that are incompatible. If it wasn't working for both of you and no path to get it that way it's time to go and live your best life.

2

It sounds like you bent over backwards to accommodate him. Now that it's over, I hope you will try to deprogram your kids. Now that you're "free" you can help them.

2

Seems to me you did the only logical thing you could do. As far as your last sentence, I would change that to, is it just me or is that just really f***** up. and drop the word logic. And I wish you all the best on your journey.

2

It sounds to me like he has been cheating on you with an imaginary friend for a very long time. You didn't sacrifice anything, he was the cheater. Glad you got free of that insanity.

2

Your marriage was a little broken already. He did not want you to be you . Not a basis for a long term relationship. You sacrificed 14 years of your life and happiness to his illusions.

2

You sacrificed nothing, he threw your marriage away because you insulted his imaginary friend.
If his religion was more important to him than his wife, he was not worth having and certainly not worth keeping, your ex is in short a prize dickhead, with no sense of priorities, no honour and a failure as a human being.
You are well shot of him.

2

You are expecting logic out of religion. That never works. Sounds like you made the move that was right for you. May harmony find you, and good luck.

2

You have to be true to who you are, it is unfortunate that you were ostracized. Similar thing happened to me, I am not included in family events because I chose not to be a Christian.

djs64 Level 7 May 16, 2019
2

I'd say it's really screwed up. If he truly loved you, he would support you. It's not like you are doing something wrong or illegal.

1

Christians never use logic they use fairy tales and belief (AKA the "F" word faith). I have been approached by several women who wanted a relationship for the express purpose of converting me to their brand of insanity. My ex-wife told me when I asked her why she even married me "I thought you would change". Very few Christians can accept atheists even as friends percentage wise and many parents would disown a child who married one or came out of the closet.

1

I do not believe in the gods either, my wife is a Christian. I have never told her that I stopped believing in religion years ago. Luckily there is no church in the area she would like to attend, because I just could not take going. I do not bring up religion or politics either since she voted for Trump and I was angry at her for doing so. I think it was very nice of you to put up with your husband's crap. I would not have let him teach the kids a silly fairy tale like creation.

1

So he let God break up your marriage? That's like getting a divorce for not believing in Humpty-Dumpty. He threw his marriage away over something equally as dumb.

1

If you believe you are right as a freethinker, you are right.

If I believe I'm so wonderful almost nobody can stand me, am I right or just another annoying grumpy old fart?

Seriously, belief doesn't mean anything.

1

Very fucked up

bobwjr Level 10 May 16, 2019
1

So, he was angry at you that you did not believe you would live in heaven with him forever? And a few more decades here and now were not worth it.
Of course you are at fault. You are a woman.

1

That's really fucked up logic.

0

This is so sad. I am grateful for this site in that it might prevent future split ups like this. You are born with the logic and science abilities but sometimes it gets suppressed and takes time to work its way out. I think you have been very reasonable. It is you that has "returned to nature" in your modes of thinking. It is a pity that so many people are going to be left behind. Get on with your life.

0

So, you could “sacrifice” your marriage to live as you are, or you could sacrifice yourself to live as he wishes his wife to...
Sounds like he wants “his wife” to be controlled by him, AND that it doesn’t much matter who his wife is, as long as she submits.
In other words, he doesn’t care that much about you, just that he be in charge of his family... Sounds abusive.

0

Yes, that is fucked up logic. Apparently love can't concure all. I'm sorry for all the hardship he is causing you. Hopefully it will get better soon.

0

I am amazed you made it 14 years. Good for you for finally getting out of it. I would not dwell on him.

0

I would say that is fucked non-logic. He would only stay with you if you pretended to be something you're not. That does not sound like love to me, so what would be the point of staying. I remained in a loveless marriage for years, and all that was accomplished was waste of too many years. I will never understand the contempt believers feel for non-believers. When I was a "Christian" I did not hate non-believers, I merely felt sorry for them, figuring it was their loss. Perhaps believers feel contempt for non-believers because they know that they themselves are contemptible. I don't know. Either way, I think you made the right choice for ending that marriage.

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