Small talk is a way of killing time until you figure out something substantive to discuss. Sometimes, though, you never find anything. Every conversation has to start somewhere.

I was thinking this the other day, 100,s of years ago we said to thine own self be true. Today we say you do you. It’s a concept probably as old as society itself and I’m glad you’ve decided to embrace it!

I’ve heard a few people say they don’t like small talk, I find that interesting because it’s something that comes natural to me. I can see where it could be tedious for some.

Glad you are finding groups in your area. I recently moved and there’s a bigger secular group here. So far I’ve been to 2 events. I’ve had a good time at both and enjoyed the people. But they’re mostly 20+ years older than me (I’m 45). Which is fine and I truly enjoy the conversation, but I was also hoping to connect to people closer to my age. I’ll definitely keep going and search other places for people my age.

Unfortunately the happy hour group I went to was prominently run by a conservative Catholic. That didn’t go well lol

You know if you don't find any of these groups where you are, just start one yourself.

Small talk helps to fill small minds.

Wish I had a group like that here, the most boring place in the whole freaking world !!!!!....

AND THAT SHOULD BE YOUR MOTTO...growing old following my passions. You can't go wrong there...i totally agree with your entire post here. Most singles AREA BORING...talking about stuff that matters to NOBODY. Good luck to you Ma'am.

Yup hazards of being single and over 50

There's small talk and then there's small talk around an interesting topic . Hope you find groups that are much more interesting.

When I first left religion, I wondered where I would find fellowship. But I soon discovered that friends can be found where I am, and I don't have to pretend to be someone else just to be with others. I love my present friends. We meet often for lunches, dinners, walks in the park, etc.

Definitely follow your own interests and passions and the groups or social contacts that grow out of that.

Thetes a reason the people in singles clubs are single

Yes as I said below, there are so many people here that are interesting, have opinions, are passionate or at least funny! Pity we are all so spread out. Why don't we all move to New Zealand? It's a bit cold there but it's lovely, the people are welcoming and progressive.

That sounds reasonable. Singles groups means the only thing you know you have in common with anyone is being single. That's not much on which to hinge a conversation. By following your passions you have a much better chance of chatting it up with someone who actually has something interesting to say.

Best of luck.

I went to a Meetup for singles. I was bored, too. I truly didn't fit in with that crowd. I won't be doing that again.

...outstanding ~ I can see you are
your own person; I believe it's better to be
happy in our own skin. KUDOS

I love that you say 'can't be assed'...or CBA here in Lancs. Stick with us

You made a healthy choice! Gravitate toward groups where people strive for self improvement and acquiring new skills. People who just “hang out” demonstrating no effort are heavy baggage to carry.

I belong to a motorcycle group called the Retreads here in the States. We have chapters around the country and in Canada (thus our International designation). You must be 40 to join, but most of our members are closer to double that. I was just on a ride with about 17 of us, we rode around 700 miles in four days, visiting waterfalls in West Virginia and Maryland. Our oldest rider was along (91) and we had three female riders and three co-riders. Two of the ladies were on Can Ams (three wheelers, two front, one back) along with our senior rider. The other was younger and riding a Vulcan 900. We had a great time, as our groups usually do. There is no age limits to enjoying motorcycle riding, just switch to the three wheeler when the legs get wobbly!

Pretty much the story of my whole life.

I'm a Sapiosexual, and I have to admit that so far as I fish the seas, this type of fish are rare indeed. As you have stated, I'm considering focusing on engaging in group-based activities like philosophy, book discussions and or board game meet ups. Just to enjoy connecting with people who are interested in the company of others and to enjoy low key engaging conversation.

Since my late 20s I've held the same strategy. Focus on what I enjoy, learn and experience what interests me and try to enjoy life even if there is no one sharing with me. Find joys where you can and maybe you'll happen to find one or more who will walk on that journey for a while (some longer than others).

But generally, learning to enjoy your own company and love yourself are keys to happiness. And who knows maybe some lucky person or two will realize it too.

To be bored means that one lacks the ability to amuse themselves. I'm an introvert. I stay in a lot. I am never bored. There's a vast wasteland in my cranium to run around and discover new things about me. All I have t do is think about it. Instead of seeing it as boring, try making it less boring. Break the ice. Walk up to someone and introduce yourself and say "wanna fuck?" Watch their reaction an voila! It's now less boring. People will either warm up to you or alienate you but be assured that you're now the talk of the room. lol.

So drop a couple thought bombs in the group.

Maybe many others were just as bored.

I can relate , having to make small talk is the worst

There comes a point when a person is so boring it actually becomes interesting. You just have to stick with it.

Quite agree. That small talk nonsense is a nose dive to the grave. I’ve never cared about Dolores’ roses or Edwards recipe for shepherd pie!

Let’s get down and create controversy. Fire the neurotransmitters rather than lull them into a moribund stupor!