I've been turned down by women for not being tall enough. I know women prefer guys who are 6'+ but I ain't him. I think they're all heightists.

Heightism is an ugly thing that I just made up that impacts good men everywhere just for being a few inches low. Ladies, take a stand against this discriminatory practice and screw a short guy... today.

PM me for my number.

I can only speak for myself, but, I feel like it is very important for there to be equal rights for everyone, but, that includes me also. If I am on a dating site, I would naturally put my hobbies, likes, a description of myself, and all the other stuff that you include in your profile. One of my favorite things is riding my horse, so I would put that in. If a person automatically takes offense at the fact that I ride horses and they are in a wheelchair, and can't, I feel like that isn't a person that I could relate to, and probably not a person I would date. Not because they are in a wheelchair, but because they offended for no reason. Maybe if they contacted me and we got to know each other, and he told me he was in a wheelchair, and we had a nice connection, we would date. Just because I ride my horse, doesn't mean the person I date has to. If he did, all the better, but if he didn't, we might have other things in common. I have had people who say they want someone who is thin. If he reads my profile and sees that I am fat, and doesn't want to date me, who cares? I don't want to date someone who doesn't want to date me, and if I don't even know that person, his opinion of me means nothing.

If somebody wishes to stick a label on me and get their undies in a bunch because my opinion doesn't happen to concur with theirs it's their problem not mine. IMO there are so many people that are so easily offended that it's ridiculous.

Some folks will go through their whole life looking for reasons to be miserable, offended or annoyed and will always find it. I don’t have the time, the energy or the concern to be brought down to their level. Recently asked out an incredible woman I met some time back and she shot me down. I still cross paths with her socially on a regular basis. There’s still great conversation with her...life goes on. There was no need nor did I expect an explanation of reason from her. It’s called being a grown up.

it wasn't exactly that, she was accused by the potential dater who wanted her to travel 2000 miles to colorado for a coffee, she declined and told him she wasn't interested very politely, but he did what many men in his same or similar situations do, try to shame you into compliance with his wishes

I always appreciate honesty... it's why we are all here? We prefer not to be pursued by evangelical Christians ...and their ilk

I agree with your every word here. I was banned from the FB version of Atheist Experience for using the word "lame." I use a desktop computer and apparently did not respond to their objections quickly enough so they banned me. You cannot argue with their decisions anyway. Apparently "lame" refers to those who cannot walk and we all know it is not their fault that they cannot walk. "Lame" is used in the KJV bible when Jesus healed a lame man. Personally, I have never known a lame man or any person who has "went lame." Maybe your horse might "go lame" but in my lifetime I've not heard this used when speaking of a person. Then I post saying some idea is "lame." Does that mean the idea is crippled and cannot walk? Only when you are scared shitless of trying to offend some handicapped person and the offense is in one biblical translation only. The entire ruling is rather lame.

There's a difference between having a sexual preference and being ableist or transphobic. You can stop being ableist or transphobic. You can't stop being gay or bi. You're always going to prefer the same gender, or prefer both genders. That doesn't change.

I understand you were trying to be rhetorical and make your point, but equating ableism or transphobia to being lesbian or gay is completely unfounded. You can change one; you can't change the other.

There's nothing wrong with a person who doesn't want to date a transperson. It's a preference. However, turning it into an issue, becoming violent and assaulting a transperson because they flirted with you or asked you out IS a problem.

By the same token, there's nothing wrong with someone who doesn't want to date a person in a wheelchair, which is your point. I understand that. Where the problem can occur is in how the person in the wheelchair deals with that rejection. And the guy in this situation handled it in a scary way that indicated he's not a safe person for women to be around.

I understand what being rejected because of your physical appearance is like. I'm a middle aged fat woman with a visible facial scar, so I'm certainly no stranger to that kind of rejection. I'm able-bodied and have no mobility issues, so I can't claim to understand what that's like. But people do make a lot of assumptions about my health and mobility based on my body shape and I've seen those thoughts cross people's faces when they meet me for the first time and make assumptions about who I am. I'm sure plenty of guys have checked out my pics on dating sites and had the same thoughts. ...All of which is to say, being rejected is no damn fun and certainly not pain-free. But I've done enough work on myself over the years that I don't act like that guy did when she rejected him.

I do think there's some ableism informing the woman's choice to reject this guy, just as there's fatphobia, among other things, informing guys' decisions to reject me. It's not just about the wheelchair and not being able to hike. That's obviously a big part of it, but not the only deciding factor. ...But the point is, while those issues can be worked on and changed, this woman is not going to change her mind for him simply because he insists on it. It would be like me insisting that a fatphobic A-hole work on himself to rid himself of the fatphobia so he can date me. It's not going to happen. And losing my rationality over it, pushing that issue on someone who's not ready to take those steps and probably never will be, is pointless. If he rejects me politely - "hey, thanks for the interest, but I don't think we have anything in common," or something similar - I have no reason to be verbally abusive to him. The rejection might sting, but I'll move on and try to find someone who is ready for everything I have to offer.

That's not what happened in the situation you're questioning, though. The guy didn't move on, handled the rejection in a scary way, and showed everyone his true colors. Yeah, there was some ableism present, but her rejection didn't merit the kind of response this guy gave. That's what took the situation from painfully awkward to scary in the blink of an eye. And unless you've lost all sense of reason, I don't think you'd want to date a person with that kind of scariness.

Personally I think you can’t really fault someone for the qualities they prefer in a partner. Everyone has a right to choose whatever characteristics make a person a “good fit” from beliefs to activities to physical attraction. Even if those preferences are fueled by bias, they don’t really harm anyone else.

I was living with a man with whom I hiked, skied, and mountain biked. Until I injured my back. After a few months being laid up and unable to do much, he asked me to move out, because I ‘wasn’t fun anymore’ Hurt like hell cuz I felt abandoned when down. But he’s allowed to seek the sort of relationship he desires. Just sucks for the unabled one.

Nice of you to edit your post.
You didn't have to.

Please post your question without naming me.

Everyone has personal preferences. Just be kind to people.

A man just messaged me saying I'm "a bit too slender and less curvy than I prefer. You're not my type."

That was mean.

When I first moved to Arizona a court clerk tried to fix me up with a friend of hers who lived in the city of Peoria. I lived about 45 to 50 minutes away from there. I said she was a "gup-py." A geographically undesirable person. The court clerk got offended and thought I was being a snob because there is an East-West bias in the Phoenix area. I was new to the city and had no clue that there was such a bias, I just didn't want to date somebody that far away. it took me a couple weeks to explain to the court clerk that I wasn't being a snob I was just trying to find someone convenient to date. As I explained to her, her friend could live in Pittsburgh and be the best person in the world but I can't/won't date her cuz she lives too far away.

I'm very active and health is important to me.... I can't date someone who can't keep up... It's a matter of practicality ... I don't think it's discrimination to refuse to date people in wheel chairs...

You could have gotten your point across without naming anyone. I find that in poor taste.

Everyone has their own preferences. In my experience, the only ones who take offense are the ones that (for lack of a better phrase) don't make the cut.

I've been passed over because of my size. I've also been passed over because I'm not society's idea of beautiful. Does it hurt? Occasionally, yes. Do I complain and make a big deal of it? Sometimes I do, but I just need to vent.

I also have a mental disorder. That doesn't even bother me unless they make a big production of it.

My point it, it happens all the time. It even feels good to vent about it. If it bothers you that people vent, then this forum isn't the right place to be because we do it all the time.

I get butthurt white bros (because the logical ones don't care and move on) telling me or whining at me that I MUST hate myself or hate my race or, the fckd up one, be a race traitor (haa!) because I don't date white guys. Like move the fck on man. Would you truly want me to fake date you and treat you like a friend because there was no attraction there? Lead you on like that? Have some goddam self-respect.

This is not specifically in response to the woman and her encounter nor about anyone’s personal tastes. It’s because, in these threads people keep referring to disabled people as inactive. That’s simply not true. Many disabled people are active, fit, healthy, and athletic. Like what you like, but stop referring to people who use devices such as wheelchairs as diminished in terms of their physical engagement with life. It’s different not less.

I have a few requirements too. No Trump supporters, must love dogs, can sleep with the fan on, can laugh at Monty Python, puts the toilet paper on with the end out and can point out at least Canada on a map.

I agree with you viewpoint on this. Like Deiter said, we all reject people for dating all the time for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with bigotry or being illegally discriminatory. I have never personally been accused of being a bigot or unfairlly discriminatory for rejecting someone for dating, altho I suppose I could have been for rejecting someone for being too overweight, too plain looking in their face, too poor, too unintelligent, too thin, etc. If anything, I am probably too much or overly tolerant in being open-minded towards dating someone who is religious, but not strongly so.

Liking bingo or Jeopardy/wheel of furtune hasn' t precluded
a relationship i have had .Some activities are not shared and
add balance and a sense of independence and freedom in a
relationship. Activity friends, ect. are the other side of the
coin.
Thanx

There's not some lowest common denominator, where we should date someone because there's "nothing wrong with them", eg. A idealistic belief that a wheelchair user may be differently able, but there's nothing that makes them less worthy than anyone else, so therefore they must meet your standards, as if dating is a requirement to find the least offensive partner instead of the most interesting. That particular wheelchair user may in fact be right, there's nothing "wrong" with him, but that isn't about the things that make people match, or make people click, or make people desire each other.

I like the drink alcohol. I'd be a terrible match for someone who likes opiates or stimulants. But furthermore I'd be a terrible match for someone who doesn't like those drugs, and also doesn't like alcohol. It's absolutely appropriate for me to seek out someone who I'd like to spend time with.

What about me total beefcake ,not old not that handsome

Yup don't fall for it block

Fucking Aye!