"Sure I believe in Jesus. He's the best gardener I've ever had!"
or
"Do you believe in Quetzalcoatl?"
or
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

Nope. It's never come up one time. I would just answer, No, I don't need it.

Aggravating

I let them know I consider that Jesus may have been real, but as for God- no.
Then, break down Jesus, from the Greek Ie (Yay) + Zeus = of Zeus, son of Zeus or follower of Zeus. I've no idea if that is real, but it sounds plausible. Good for a wind up and maybe will make them think.

You can say he possibly existed and if so he was a magnificent magician

you could say, "I believe he's a pain in the ass."

I tell them I'm not interested in pushers. That always gets a vacant look. Some ask why, some don't. For those that ask, I tell them if I come to them it makes them dealers, if they come to me it makes them pushers. This applies to religions, door-to-door salesmen, phone sales. If they persist that they are doing some gods work, I tell them to go listen to Steppenwolf's 'The Pusher'. Granted the song is about illegal drugs, but it usually shuts them up.

A big reason I’m an atheist is because a guy I worked with constantly talked about it. Said he talked with Jesus and was always inviting me to his church. At first I was polite and even went to his church once. The sermon was all about us being unworthy sinners. About that time I read the god Delusion and soon after god is not great. We argued from then on! I was never happier when he transferred!

No, I'm a musician. They assume I'm a heathen anyway.

I accept the evidences that at some time in the first century there was at least one reformist of Judaism called Yeshua (the name as pretty much common on that time) that by known historical mechanisms aggregated in his person by misinformation and/or truth manipulation many histories and deeds of the other many reformists of the same period.

As for him being god or son of god or has supernatural powers, my identification as Atheist answer your question.

Asking someone if they believe in Jesus is rude and asinine. It's a no-win scenario, and thus, an excellent question. Before responding, I'd just reiterate that Christians are all about lying to themselves to deal with their cognitive dissonance. Also, they lie like the dickens when they witness to each other. It's a Liar's Club. So, to a big extent, your choice of strategy mainly depends on your personality, values and the circumstances. All that said...

1. Say that you do and lie back to them. But be ready to tell them a story about why you're not interested in joining their prayer meeting or church. Maybe say you don't like how different Christian sects run each other down, so you only pray privately rather than wearing your religion on your sleeve (like Jesus says).
2. Say that you're afraid of being fired for discussing religion while at work.
3. Say that you were molested by a pastor and will never let yourself get into that situation again.
4. Tell them that religion is a private, personal matter and that you don't want to discuss it.
5. You can say you do or don't believe in Jesus as far as that has meaning to you.
6. Try to confuse them by asking them which Jesus: Jesus as God, Jesus as prophet, the Baptist Jesus, the Lutheran Jesus, the Catholic Jesus, the Eastern Orthodox Jesus, ad nauseum.
7. Etc.

Why is it confusing for you? Why not just calmly say "no"? Then if they are rude to you then you can tell them that you cannot bring yourself to believe in a religion of intolerance, disrespect, and contempt for others, etc. If there is a God, it couldn't possibly be such a god.

Nobody has brought up religion in the 20 years I’ve worked in my profession. I suppose I would say something honest and non-confrontational like ‘not really’.

I understand your frustration.

on those rare occasions when i am asked, i say "no." but then, even before i was an atheist i would've said "no." i'm jewish. i'm USED to not believing in jesus lol.

g

Im in a religious hot bed(socially & geographicly) and you are
doing a marvelous job of maintaing your boundries.
The "ignore" route works on 78% (or85%)- if they reflect
on the conversation later, they should have known that your
personal beliefs are yours alone. Gossip partakers?
Now , with difficulty i have found the strident-in your face-
i'm on a mission people deserve (heeheee) a "little more".
Because i am being called to defend something i stand for; but the PROOF is where the issue is. Getting down to
an emotional "name calling" level with them resolves nothing. Part brainwashing/part long emotional investment
means you are rarely going to make a dent. ( college professors argue contstantly about this very subject).
They will quickly lose their human dignity and resort to
rants. Like when i found out there is no tooth fairy, i'll cling harder ; no santa (i like kidness and
warmth) -but we do not -did not -need aSUPREME
BEING making everything(and us) perform. So the
facts do win out/ you just must pick your battles
or its emotionally draining. Humor helps.
I have folks come to my door and invite me to SERVICES and i remain cordial (i actually pity),
family praying for me; co workers who worship
objects, but hey i refuse to give up my peace of
mind , my tranquillity. I want good in my life ,
not someone else's idea of good.
PS. Nice post,
Thanks

Generally, I make a blanket statement that I reject all claims of "revealed knowledge."

why would someone do this? seems far fetched to me, but i would remind that person to mind his or her own business, period

It would be a lie to say you don't believe in Jesus so if that is the question you could just brush it off with a yes and get the hell out of there before you have to listen to more bullshit.

It's a trick question. You might believe in Jesus (or not) but still not believe the way that they do.

You could tell them that you are currently reading a book about that very question......

The book you might be reading is titled: Inventing Jesus. Author Paul Gable, regards the New testament narrative as fantasy fiction. The book has more than 600 pages and has 47 pages of references and assignations. Gabel is a historian. The person to whom you have replied will almost always suppose that you are referring to the bible. Probably the KJV.

Let it go at that unless they press the issue. If they do press for a committment try this one......Ask them if they know about the origin of their bible. (Not a chance in hell that they will know how the King James came into being.) In about 1604 King James inherited the throne after the death of his sister, queen Elizabeth. Elizabeth had been a catholic and decreed that the masses ascribe to the teaching of one of the Latin Vulgate variations. James tended toward Christianity and proceeded to form a committee of 54 scholars of the day. They were divided into groups of five or nine. Each of the groups was to write some part of the new bible. They did that with great gnashing of teeth because there was disagreement among the committee members. In the end, about 1611 the book was finished and it is now known as the King James Version. (KJV). I reckon that the word "version" ought to give us some thoughts about the possible historic accuracy of the book.

Another book that you might be reading that is not a bible, is: And Man Created God. Author Selina O'Grady is also an historian and the book takes us from ancient BCE times onward. O'Grady has done a service to those of us who are curious about Jesus, Apollonius and other claimants to divine powers.

Just tell them you don't talk about religion at work. Is your boss very religious?

Unfortunately its probably best to decline to answer that one or if you do answer it just politely tell them you’re a skeptic on religion.