I have. I met him at the end of the 90's. In an X-files chat room. We talkd about the show at first, and nothing personal. As we began to see each other in the room, we started to private chat. At first it was simple things, then it got to where we were sharing everything. I told him about my two ex-husbands, and he told me about his extended illness of 10 years. Before we knew it we were more than just friends. This was a couple of years in the making. It was the year 911 happened that I met him in person.

I did not want to go that route with him as he was 15 years young, however, he said my age, and his illness equaled us out to even ground. I don't know if I had been a younger person if it would have worked between us. I was content to wait for meeting him during my breaks from school, I was a teacher. This went on for about 8 years. I met him in real life off and on for 8 years and we talkd EVERY DAY on the phone. I told him ithis was the most important thing to talk every day. He did it even though he was very ill.

I moved to be with him in 2008. He passed away in 2014. I was with him every day for six years. I loved him, and he loved me. He was always so kind to me. I miss him terribly. I wrote about his illness in one of my posts.

So....what worked for me was contact daily by phone. Visiting as frequently as we could Hoever, again it takes someone who is mature enough to handle this type of relationship. My sweet Tim was mature beyond his years. I was 45 and he was 30. Best of luck to you.

Depends upon what you consider long distance.

For me, I need touch and physical contact to express love and feel loved...doesn’t bode well for a LDR. Not easy to hug a phone or computer

Warning up front this is not practical for most people. My first partner and I lived 3 1/2 hours apart by car. He worked for an airline and took a commuter flight up to see me every single weekend for our first six months dating, until we decided to move in together. I left my job, family, friends, and moved to the city with him. We were together 11 years and lived in three states. It was young love, but getting together as frequently as possible made it work for us.

Of course - everyone has different ideas on what constitutes "long distance" .
In my situation - which held up for 4 1/2yrs, he was only an hour away - but generally, I dealt with that better than he did. That said, I was amazed at how just one hour interfered with things.
We both worked - so it pretty much prevented most get togethers during the week - and even some on weekends. It killed off possibilities for spontaneity or a surprise visit, or those times when either of us just wanted a quick "booty call".

We had a very intense connection, but with that came intense longing, and great frustrations during time apart.

Would I do it again ? That particular one ... probably. <grin>

2 for me. Seattle/Denver LDR for 1 1/2 years that turned into a 15 year marriage, and a 9 month LDR Seattle/Albuquerque (we met here) that turned into our current marriage.

To answer both, daily contact and massive amounts of communication.

I've recently began a long distance relationship with a woman 1,700 miles away in Virginia. So far, so fantastic. We're pursuing the egalitarian route.

Communication, Communication, Communication...

Oh yeah, great sex as well. A package deal.

Distance was 130 miles 2 1/2 hour trip one way was hard but we managed, lived together 14 years

Everyone's notion of LD is going to be different and that may have a lot to do with age and schedule flexibility. Mine seems to hover at about a 3-hour drive. Working as a Realtor my time has always been flexible. My best LD relationships have tended to be 4-5 hour's drive away. They failed for other reasons, not distance. People in their 60's tend to have lots of spare time that allows visiting each other for 3-7 days at a time, once appropriate, switching-off as schedules permit, or require. Finding the right partner and spending a lot of time with each other allows both to assess the practicality of eventually living near, or with, each other. Or avoiding a disaster. "Dating" is not what I seek... it's just one required stepping stone toward a LT relationship. Since I live (by choice) in the beautiful WV mountains in the middle of no place, surrounded by religious, Conservative, closely-bred people (not my 1st choice), I have to drive an hour or so, for just that first cup of coffee, always. Yup... dating is hard.

I had a good relationship with a woman across the country that I consider a success. We only met one time for a week long vacation. I still think fondly about it even though it eventually fizzled out because of the distance. She was an amazing person.

I've had a couple of them. They work pretty well while they're long distance, although it's not easy. You have to reconcile yourself to the fact that they have a life outside of you for as long as they're not physically with you. Unless you've met and spent some time together, trust me - you do not really know them, and it would be wise to acknowledge and appreciate this fact. Jealous or insecure people need not apply.

But you can make it work as long as you keep your expectations where they firmly belong. In reality.

The real challenge to your staying power in my opinion comes when you take the next step and consolidate physical presence. That's when it becomes real work. The bliss of living together lasts for a good while, but not forever. When you're apart, the day to day aspects of life are yours to control. When you're together, it's no longer just yours and you will depend on your partner more to hold up his/her end of the bargain. That's tougher.

Not the same as being a military service member who will be gone for months and months at a time. That's a whole different ballgame.

I almost had an LDR once. She was a woman I'd known years before who reconnected with me during an emotional time in both our lives. We texted and wrote each other, chatted over FB Messenger a lot, and talked by phone several times a week, I lived here in FL and she was in MI. It went along well for several months with plans to see each other being worked on.

Until...

She started seeing a local man and I fell off her radar because of the distance. He was there to give her the closeness she needed and I wasn't. Simple as that.

So, almost but not quite.

I couldn't be arsed myself. I could chat to someone from across the world for a year. They could walk off the plane, start scratching their balls and it would all be over in a flash.

A friend of mine had a long distance with an american. He visited for two weeks.....never took his cap off. We were brought up, it was bad manners to wear a hat indoors, and never ever to wear a hat to the table to eat. It was a deal breaker for my friend.

I have had two. One was 90 miles the other 200 miles. They both failed because of distance. This was before cell phones and you could run up a 300 dollar phone bill very fast. The fact you can talk all of the time in this day and age would help somewhat, but I am not sure if it would be enough.

It was only long distance for about a week, then he moved in. We've been married 5 years now.

I was with my other half for several years before he had to move cross country for work, and I couldn't follow him for a couple of years. It was pretty miserable, and if I hadn't eventually been able to join him, we couldn't have kept it up indefinitely. I will say that we are stronger now than we were before the time apart.

My late partner and I lived half a country apart (Seattle/Dallass). We were introduced by my brother-in-law and spent the first 2 months on the phone (no e-mails, no letters, just a photo of each other). Later we started to visit and did so for 8 months. The success of this showed me it can be done and perhaps is better that two people get to know each other before meeting and the phony element of chemistry takes over.

When I was young a LDR I was in turned into a horrible experience. I convinced her to move to be with me and eventually marry me. If it weren't for the two kids she gave me, it would have been a utterly horrific experience.

I don't think that would work for me. The closest thing that would work for me is to be in a relationship where they live with me on the weekend and then go to a city to work 5 days before it happens again. I had that once and it worked fairly well until I discovered that she was slowly moving clothes into my income tax drawer. Imagine if she lived with me full time.

Oh, no....

Here's the thing, RS70 - you're asking an existential question, one that can only be answered by experiencing it.

There's no right or wrong answer. You just have to decide to "do" or "don't", then let the experience take you where it takes you.

If you're looking for someone to talk you into it, you'll find it. If you're looking for someone to talk you out of it, you'll find it. But none of those answers are You.

I can't tell you what to do here. I would take a line from the Bard and say that there is something worth having "one crowded hour on the stage". But that's me. Whatever you decide, just be safe and you do you, no matter what.

not me...

They don't work at all.