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Do you think your lack of God affects how you feel about the insults of aging? It's completely true that I would do anything to go back 20 years. I would use it better, knowing what I know now. I'm completely amazed to find myself looking hard at 68 ( due in 3 weeks ). Like David Byrne, I'm wondering " How did I get here? " This sucks. I think old is ugly. I'm also intrigued by the current mass attraction to the concept of Vampires. Hummmmm. Get turned and aging stops. All you have to do is drink blood, you don't HAVE to kill them. Killing is from indifference. Going way back to the fictional start of vampirism in Egypt, the Queen could hear the thoughts of the entire world. The barrage of input and the impossibility of turning it off froze her for thousands of years. My personal ability to listen to someone stupid ( let's say my Mother) express their thoughts is quite short. 20 minutes or so and I am ready to do the " Fight or flight " thing. Don't you think that if there was a God, our sniveling, whining, greedy, neverending requests and demands would have driven him off by now?

ForTheBirds 6 Feb 26

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do your kid's sniveling, whining, greedy, neverending requests and demands would have driven you off by now?

Been there, done that. I speak to my youngest son only.


Sounds as if you haven't made the most of it. Let go of the regrets, what's done is done, and make the most of what you have left. There are no do overs.

that is so true good point!! lol

Yes, we all have bad days and great days!!!

As we age we seem to accumulate more bad days than great days!!!


Even at 11, I knew that I did not need a sniveling, whining, greedy, neverending requests and demands and condemning newborn babies to hell deity in my life.


I've suffered the 'slings and arrows' of aging, along with other insults that come with my genetics, but God has never entered into my thought processes. Mostly, "Damn, why didn't I take better care of myself?"


Regular exercise and a healthy lifestyle and diet get results. My lack of belief in an invisible deity has nothing to do with it.

  1. My father was a chain smoker. In third grade, I vowed never to smoke.

  2. At age 51, my father died of colon cancer. I was 24. Immediately I eliminated from my diet preserved and processed meat with cancer-causing nitrites and nitrates. Forty years ago, we knew it increases your risk of cancer by 16.5%. The meat industry suppressed the research. I don't miss it.

  3. At age 22, my sister got skin cancer. I was 27. That was the last year I had a tan. Since then, I have protected my porcelain skin daily with sunscreen and a wide-brimmed, Solumbra hat.

  4. My mother was called a "health nut" and "exercise fanatic." She was 40 years ahead of the time. What a great role model! I took her habits to a new level. Thanks, Mom!

At 66, I still love hiking, running, weight lifting and stretching. Over the years, I also swam laps, cross-country skied, ran 10K races, ice skated and downhill skied.

Like my Mom, I am an exercise fanatic and health nut. Exercise makes me feel happy and strong. 🙂


  1. High in the Olympic Mountains, WA at age 26.

  2. Me, 29, and Terry, 33, backpacking to Ingalls Lake, WA, before we were married.

  3. Happy in the great outdoors, age 63.

  4. Age 66. New haircut, February 2020. Forgot to suck in my stomach. "You look relaxed," a man said.

Smart call on the nitrites and nitrates. Sodium Nitrite is toxic bait for feral swine but GRAS for humans. Go figure.

you are awesome i ski as well i do down jill rried crosscountry couldnt get into it i love the thrill

oops sorry for typos


Thanks for the compliment. Please edit your comment.

My guess: You love the thrill of downhill skiing. You tried cross-country skiing, but couldn't get into it. Correct?


I came to the conclusion that there is no God when I was a teenager. I dedicated my life to learning about history, nature, science.


I never realized I was old until my husband died when I was 70. That was a mere fleeting admission and I am too busy to worry about getting old or dying much less religion.


I'm really okay with aging. Beats the hell out of the alternative, which is inevitable.
When my time is up, it's up. No fear. My consciousness will cease.
No regerts. (not a typo 😉 )

Even an intentional typo is still a typo.


Actually, my not believing in a god makes it easier to accept the struggles of life and death.

Seeing everything as eternal energy, that sometimes takes the form of life and consciousness, and knowing we are a part of everything, and will return to our energy state after death, is much more satisfying than believing we are here to amuse, love, or piss off, some creator being.

Yes, I wish our lives were longer--say perhaps as long as a redwood tree or even a tortoise; but, look what we get in return--the ability to ponder our existence and to appreciate the tree and the tortoise.


As someone who has died twice, once by strangulation (abusive hubby) I can strongly state, without hesitation, that you should quit yer bitchin' and be grateful for every day, whether in pain, or disabled, or W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R.

Spot on.


As a lifelong atheist I can’t really say how I’d feel if I believed in god, but I can’t see how it would affect my thoughts on ageing and it’s attendant effects. I don’t actually hanker back to what has been, neither do I look too far ahead into the future, that is unknowable territory. What I do is, I live in the present, and enjoy my current life with good friends and interesting activities. We may be getting older and have accumulated some wrinkles and aches and pains along the way, but the alternative is much worse in my view. That addresses the first half of your post, however, you lost me when you started talking about vampires and drinking blood I’m afraid...and then saying your mother was stupid....! Mmh?


I think Atheism and reality have helped me age comfortably. Maybe genes have something to do with it. When check out time does come I'll be okay with it. I'm comfortable with my trip through life, and reality means it all comes to an end sometime. Enjoy life, relationships and reality.


No, being atheist does not affect how I view aging. I turned 67 last year and honestly, this is the best period of my life. I loved raising my kids, but my marriage was a void. I weighed 250 pounds when I was 43, lost 100 pounds, and this is one of the best things I did for my health. At 45, I left the marriage and moved to Missouri. I lived with a younger man for seven years and the relationship turned abusive.

The end of that relationship 14 years ago started the "best period." I am in very good health according to my doctor and according to how I feel. I may be closer to death than I was when I was 43 and though I cannot walk a mile in 15 minutes as I did when I was 45, I can mow a third of an acre with a pushmower and can load my pick-up full of rocks.

I also wonder "how did I get here?" I look in the mirror and see a woman who looks nothing like I expected her to look 20 years ago. I actually marvel that I will be 70 in less than three years and have managed to be this happy and this healthy. Yup, it could change--I could get hit by a truck or get cancer.

And aging will finally take its toll. I won't be healthy forever and I will not live forever, but I have no desire to moan or worry about it. I make plans for that day and will accept the inevitable.

I sometimes wake up and think, "Gee, I am going to die someday." Then, I say, "But probably not today"--and watch out for trucks.

Without death, there would be no new life. If we lived forever, there would be no children and no grandchildren. Considering that I would give my life for them, no regrets. Aging it not an insult; it is the natural order of "things."

And I don't listen to stupid people, or at least not after one incidence listening to them.


"Insults of aging" is a horrible western concept born out of consumer culture. Aging is a gift to be cherished. Wisdom compounds with age.

Physical beauty is fleeting and shallow. Aging is fine, so long as you don't make poor lifestyle choices or contract a disease. I don't look like I did at 25. I am not ugly at my now 65, nor will I ever be.

The idea of aging as being ugly is ugly. I agree with you.

with wisdom comes sorrow.. the more knowledge, the more grief.
might have been the bible but i think they nailed it.


In order to age gracefully we first must accept it with a positive attitude. There are many advantages to maturity. All you seem to be missing is a positive attitude. Many people don't get to attain our age.

@MissKathleen I am sure it does suck, my friend, but when my sister developed breast cancer in her 40s, it also sucked. People of all ages develop horrendous diseases that suck. It is not confined to old age.

@Gwendolyn2018 Yes, it all sucks. But just because some of these ills come with old age, doesn't mean that you should be confined to expressing your discontent about them only in relative youth. Loss of relationships, physical/mental functions, and having pain intruding into more and more of your life, impacts some of us more than others. And I'm detecting a lack of empathy from those who perhaps have not experienced these to the same degree. And the treatments we have development for many things that suck arose out our lack of acceptance of them, and so too may it be for those arising from old age.

@Rossy92 My mother didn't know me for the last one or two years of her life; she was 90, was bipolar, and had clinical depression that plagued her for decades. My father died at 64 of lung cancer; he smoked unfiltered Camels for decades. My 73 year old sister developed breast cancer in her 40s and had a lumpectomy and radiation treatments; it came back six years ago and metastasized in her bones; she has been in remission for five years and continues treatment. Her first husband died in his 40s of cancer.

I have empathy for all people who suffer, regardless of their ages.

@Gwendolyn2018 I take you at your word that you are empathetic. I get it that positives come with aging. And you appear to approve of measures taken to remedy the negative impacts of aging. But IMO, it's sugarcoating to find offense in the term "insults of aging" (you approved of one such comment). It's simply an honest acknowledgement of discontent with the negatives of aging. Of course one should try to have a positive outlook toward aging. But some of the comments (here goes another "trigger" word) seem so intolerant and hostile about anyone viewing things slightly differently than themselves.

@Rossy92 I am not clear on some points that you are making. What do you mean by "sugarcoating" in finding offense in "insults of aging" and what did I approve?

To say that aging is an "insult" is a misnomer. It is a natural process. We are a society obsessed with youth, and aging is seen almost as unnatural. I have heard young people make derogatory remarks about older people based solely on age. I made a comment on a Youtube video and a young woman who disagreed with me called me an "old woman." I find that amusing even though it was obviously the worst insult she could think of.

As for approving taking measures remedy the effects of aging, which remedies do you mean? Eating right, staying busy, and exercising are some great remedies to lessen health issues, but they are not a panacea and they must begin before age sets in. If people want to have facelifts, that is their choice--I personally would not nor will I dye my hair when it goes gray.

Discontent with the effects of aging will, no doubt, hit me when I reach a certain age. I will not go gently into that good night, but neither will I moan and groan at the close of day. It's just they "it" is.

By the way, when I was 43, I weighed 250 pounds. I took stock of my health and the thought occurred to me that if I live as long as some of my relatives, I wanted to be as healthy as I could be. I lost 100 pounds. Taking control is a great feeling--literally and figuratively.

@Gwendolyn2018 "Insult of aging" and "insults of aging" are two entirely different propositions. If I have to explain the difference then just let's forget about it. Neither myself, the original poster, nor the comment you "liked", used the singular "insult". You approved of the comments:

 **("Insults on aging [sic]? Whomever does that is definitely a fucking moron because we all age every day, part of nature like death. I don't listen to morons." )**, and **["As someone who has died twice, once by strangulation (abusive hubby) I can strongly state, without hesitation, that you should quit yer bitchin' and be grateful for every day, whether in pain, or disabled, or W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R."]** 

Echoing the latter statement, you state that discontentment may hit you, but you won't moan and groan. But perhaps what you call moaning and groaning is cathartic for others and helps them to cope.

Perhaps through moaning and groaning, solutions may materialize through the communication. But you appear to disapprove of the mere expression of such sentiments, and want others to suffer in silence as you would.

As social beings it's natural to seek others who sympathize with your experience, and to want to know that others have a similar experience. So by "sugarcoat", I mean that you are very dismissive and hostile in advocating for a sort of stoicism on one hand, and on the other hand subscribe to the sentiment that you should be grateful for whatever existence you have, no matter the pain or disability.

All lives aren't necessarily worth living, or else medically assisted suicide wouldn't be a "thing". You have not traveled in the "shoes" of others. That sort of attitude strikes me the way a lot of religious thinking does. A one size fits all "gloss over" of realities in favor of some Pollyanna philosophy.

@Rossy92 I cannot say this without giving offense, but I am going to say it anyway. Your post is just too difficult to read and understand. Paragraph breaks would be nice and would make the points more understandable. After reading 15 or so outlines today along with three discussion posts from about 15 students, I simply do not have the energy to wade through another post that taxes my eyes.

@Gwendolyn2018 I'll see what I can do. Then perhaps try again tomorrow.


At age 83, I ask you" What is the value of dwelling thigs you will never have, and on things that are simply a part of the life of each of us? It makes no sense.


Been there...regrets are written off as a waste of time and effort...and life is way too short for wasteing....just trying to do whats right keeps me busy, and others happier with me.


When I accepted treatment for cancer, they said I could expect 10 years. I wanted the 10 years between 40 and 50, but that's not what I got. I'm not very interested in the years between 68 and 78, for instance. If Trump wins this upcoming election, I think I will take an earlier flight. Another 4 years of his whiney, fake prep school voice, the spray tan, and the cherrio gesture are just too much. I fear for our Democracy and our Laws. I worked out and was strong and fit and ready to fight only 15 years ago. Getting old is the way we get to the time to die place.


At 68 I see no correlation between lack of belief in a god and how I feel about aging .


I accept my aging process and the consequences thereof as being mere facts.

I do not suffer fools gladly. The half-life of religious fools being in my company is about 2 minutes.



In every respect!

@Marionville "the insults of aging" ?.I recently read that a person is at their happiest at the age of 83 !!

@Moravian. Way hey....something to look forward to then!

@Marionville Not too long for us to wait then, but to be cynical could it be that many 83 year olds are living in blissfull ignorance due to advancing senility and this has skewed the statistics ?.

@Moravian No..I just think that by that age we have no false illusions left about buying into a world of happiness through material things, such as the latest gadget. As friends and family die off, or are in poor health, those older people who are still alive and relatively healthy can put life into true perspective and realise that happiness lies in the simplest of things, like the companionship of old friends, and sunshine after a rainy spell, or just being able to enjoy a good meal with a glass of wine, read a good book and listen to favourite music.

@Marionville I think you have nailed it 🙂


At 66 I have yet to reach an age where I wish I was younger. The only thing I miss are the years that are no longer in front of me.

Yes! That is how I feel--thank you for articulating it.


Yes, I agree. Our constant whining and sniveling would have driven a god away a long time ago.


What’s God god got to do with it?

Isn’t that a song by Tina Turner?

@Marionville That’s the one, thought it was familiar!

@Marionville "God", "love", Interchangeable in the eyes of believers I suppose.


Wow, there is something I just read 😳😲😵

Ain’t that the truth!


Everything atrophies. All living things will die - even 75k year old viruses. Even if you were an immortal vampire, the Earth will vanish one day. And if you were to escape that, well, the universe will collapse at some point. I simply accept that fact. An occasional use of pot eases the pains from a life of beating up my body.

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