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According to my Plague Blog, not much has changed since I have self isolated:

Quarantine: Day Three

I went no place on Sunday but went to Walmart yesterday, so I guess that I really should start the count over for the days of quarantine, but I am not going to do so.

It is 10:01 AM and I have graded two late rough drafts and posted announcements. I have a phone conference later in the day and have a couple more drafts to grade.

I have counted my cans of soup and washed my hands several times.

I guess that I will knit more on the afghan I am making for Henry.

Angst and ennui.

Quarantine: Day Four

At least I have not resorted to arguing about sweat pants with the dog as have some people in lockdown. (No names will be given.)

Having hauled a load of rocks yesterday, I am contemplating doing the same today as my grading duties are finished.
I have resolved not to eat the other carton of ice cream in my freezer until at least Fri

Quarantine: Day Four, Evening Report

I left my haven to get gas for the pick-up and did a short grocery run. I did not eat the other carton of ice cream.

I almost had a confrontation with a young man over the last bottle of rubbing alcohol, but he backed down when I told him that I might LOOK like a weak old woman, but I just loaded a pick-up with big rocks.

Quarantine: Day Five

Knowing that chocolate has miraculous medicinal properties, I upped my morning dose to 1.3 ounce, up 1/3 of an ounce. Also, if you were not aware of this, broken pieces of chocolate and broken cookies have no calories. It is a proven, scientific fact.

Quarantine: Day Five almost Midday Report

As I sat thinking about the odds of getting hit by lightning, I then began to think of the pile of rocks I dug up yesterday and their safety. No, not from lightning, but rock thieves.

I know that you are scoffing, but think about it. My neighbor's property encompasses 25 acres and no one goes to the lower 40 (that's just an expression we Midwest people use). WHAT if some hermit has taken up residence and needs rocks to fortify his/her abode? He/she could have been observing me from behind trees and now, sees an opportunity to score some prime rocks. Of course, he/she has no pick-up and would have to carry them back to his/her hut.

I galvanized myself into action and grabbing the dog, immediately drove to the pile of rocks and loaded them into the pick-up. I could not be sure, but the pile did look a bit smaller than it did yesterday.

If I am called upon to leave a pile of rocks overnight in the future, I will count those suckers.

And lightning did not make an appearance--just a slow, slight rain.

Quarantine: Day Six

I broke down last evening and ate 1/3 of my last carton of ice cream. This morning, I had lost a pound. Evidently, I have been doing it wrong all these years and am considering adding a pint or so of ice cream to my daily food intake.

I finished the afghan and though I "owe" lap quilts to my granddaughters in Illinois, the quilting bee has not stung me.

I received an email from a man on a dating site telling me that because I do not support Trump, I should go back to where I came from. I am not sure how to accomplish this as two lines of ancestors came to The Colonies in the 1730s. Should I cut myself into pieces and send them to Ireland, Scotland, Germany and England? Or do I just move to Oklahoma where I was born? I will have to ponder this some more.

Oh, and to whom do I send the body parts? Yet another issue to ponder.

Quarantine: Day Six, Midday Report

Uplifting thought for the day: At least two of your ancestors lived through the Bubonic Plague.

After standing with my nose pushed against the window (while dressed in my pink camouflage robe, held together with a safety pin) for 15 minutes, I roused myself to action and washed my hair.

That's it, folks--I can't be scintillating all of the time.

Quarantine: Day Seven

Having missed the morning post, Gwen realizes that she needs to let people know how she is doing before someone panics.

I ate ice cream and hauled two loads of rocks.

I am now out of ice cream. This is problematic.

Quarantine: Day Eight

Took the dog home yesterday. She didn't even say good-bye when I left. So much for that short lived relationship. I now know that those adoring looks that she gave to me were just empty flattery. I hope she knows that when I said, "Good dog," I didn't really mean it.

I am considering going to forage for ice cream--is it worth the risks?

Quarantine: Day Eight, Mid-Afternoon

At 2:38, I realized that I had not brushed my teeth or washed my face because I had been focused on grading. Of course, the lack of daily personal hygiene was of no importance as I had no contact with anyone all day. However, the serious, tiring task of grading impressed upon me the need for ice cream and, after receiving permission to do so from Facebook friends and family, I completed the hygienic tasks and was on my way for the creamy frozen treat. (The permission was granted for the ice cream and not the hygienic tasks.)

I engaged in conversation with several gentlemen at Walmart; the women seemed to be as intent on scoping out toilet paper and other goods as I had been on grading. Or, perhaps, men are just more susceptible to my smile and pleasant demeanor. Whichever, I finished my sociability needs for the week and was soon back home.

Now, I just need to find something to do for the rest of the day. I still have discussions to grade, but that is only an hour of work.

Gwendolyn2018 8 Mar 22

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I have not laughed and smiled from ear to ear so much since reading Joyce Carol Oates....thank you from my plague observation tower .... she made drowning in Chappaquiddick and watching Sen Kennedy lose in tennis ENTERTAINMENT.... I imagine Anne Frank would keep a diary like yours if alive and chasing 70 yrs but Atheists my age read in between the lines from women we admire

Someday, when I semi-retire and then, retire (or if my ex husband dies and I get his full SS payment), I will devote time to writing. After grading a million papers a week, I just have little time and few creative juices.

I suppose I could also marry a rich man--he might take me to Guyana. 😛

@Gwendolyn2018 notes on my paper seem to read D minus and free tuition courtesy of your sugar daddy

@Larry68Feminist Can't seem to find the sugar daddy, and dang, he would have to be ancient.

@Gwendolyn2018 Kraft the owner of New England cheaters Patriots is a billionaire desperate for sexual massages from lady cops last year SuperBowl sting.... but he has BODYGUARDS...maybe you could be his biographer and suck up to his ego like the reporter did to General Petreus in the muslim war zone a decade ago.... but they violated secrecy laws together....Kraft only gets cops & highway patrol off duty at his Foxborough Stadium he paid for himself all 30 others are tax funded

@Larry68Feminist Eww, no--just no. I am happy on my own and minus a whole lot of drama.


Reminds me of Bridget Jones's Diary. You are a great writer..

Hey, I was an English major and am an English teacher for a reason! And thanks.


I just read your post and all the comments to this point and I have something to say. First, Ice Cream is an important part of one's weekly ritual, usually on Friday night, and it has to be either Umpqua or Tillamook which you probably do not have access to. Their chocolate is to die for. They also have a peanut butter chocolate that is great, actually all their stuff is great. I live about sixty miles from the factory. Kate and I do not eat bad ice cream, it is in the small print on our marriage contract. Also people may think that steeling rocks is a funny matter as no one would actually do it. This is incorrect as people will do much to gain what another has no matter what it is as long as they can either use it or sell it. Astoria is on the Columbia River and there are many buildings that are over water. People will steel a boat to get under these buildings to steel the copper pipe for the water lines and the sewer. They will steel the wire that supplies electricity to a place that is far from the road, there was even a case where they tried to take the wire off one of those large towers that transfers electricity cross county, they were electrified and burnt to a crisp. I had never given any thought to the plague as being something a relative survived, but you are correct. I did have a relative die in the Spanish Flu epidemic back in the early 1900's. I went to work today and got laid off, so now I join the numbers of unemployed. Could not happen at a better time as I have to clean my apartment floor to ceiling in order to sell the house. On solution to being foreclosed upon. Have no idea what will happen but I am sure something will come up as this is a great community and everyone helps everyone else, once you are accepted.

I forgot to mention the weak old lady comment. I learned a long time ago that one should not assume that a small woman cannot beat your ass. My mother worked in a mental institution and said that given a choice she would rather fight a man than a woman. Men, with few exceptions, do not want to hurt a woman, Women, on the other hand, will hand you your ass and give it no concern.

I usually go to Braum's every third day and have two scoops in a cup. Ice cream is my ultimate comfort foods, but the present situation is just an excuse to eat it.

No one is going to steal my rocks except for the squirrels, but they can't haul the big ones.

I am truly sorry to hear about your job. I am definitely among the lucky as I have worked from home for years. I can well imagine how stressful this must be. 😟

@dalefvictor The young man was not even thinking about the bottle of alcohol--I was just trying to make him laugh and succeeded. Hey, I am a beam of sunshine.

@Gwendolyn2018 The job situation is actually a good thing as I have to sell my house and I need to do some work on it, so now I have the time.

@dalefvictor Whew!


I can feel your pain 😔 I'm out of ice cream also, not to mention breakfast essentials, milk and instant mashed potatoes. Being my diet is down to liquids and flavored paste. 😱 Not a good year for esophageal cancer. 🤬

Ouch! If you were nearby, I would be happy to leave some ice cream on your porch, but Ohio is a long drive. My sister has Stage 4 breast cancer but has been in remission for about six years. She lives in a small town in Okla. It is a difficult time. Sigh.

@Gwendolyn2018 congratulations to your sister, I have a grand shopping mission for after I get off work being I work in an industry that is considered vital. Figures. 🤯

@oldFloyd This is her second bout.

May your mission be successful!

My daughter-in-law works for a major insurance company and they set her up at home. My son is in IT and he is also working from home this week--they are giving him a private office next week. My grandson is out of school through April 3, so it all works out.


Ice cream only has calories if you read the label. So long as you don't read it, they don't count.

But of course! Why didn't I think of that?

Wait a minute people Ice Cream never has calories no matter what, period. I have spoken.


This is a rocky road but at least you have clean hands. 🙂

That was genius, my man, absolutely genius. I bow to you.

@Gwendolyn2018 I'm on day 20 of self-isolation and social distancing protocols, it gets easier.

@Surfpirate And obviously, you have time to think up great puns. I work from home and I just go to the store less often. Not a big change!

@Gwendolyn2018 we live on an island in the St. Lawrence River on a few acres, self isolation is one of our favourite things to do normally. 🙂

@Surfpirate I am semi-rural and have only 1/3 acre. I would have bought something farther out, but I was teaching on campus when I bought my house and this was a compromise for the drive. It is ten minutes from town in two directions, and that is convenient--as I age, it will be even more convenient.

@Gwendolyn2018 large enough for a vegetable garden, it may come in very handy if this thing drags on and food becomes less available, especially salads and other fresh veg that is so important to maintaining good health and a strong immune system.

@Surfpirate I live next to a sinkhole and my property is all fill dirt, impacted with rocks. The rocks are why I started building rock walls on my property. I could plant veggies in my flower beds, but I would need raised beds to grow much. I eat a lot of fruits and veggies--no cows or pigs--and I should consider growing at least some.


Sounds like your are using your time productively.
Okay, now that I have thrown that meaningless platitude out there, tell me what we all want to know: what brand & flavor if ice cream, and did you add Reddi-Whip, nuts, toppings.....?. I want exact details so I too can lose weight!!!

Anne, any ice cream will do, but it must be eaten in a strict ritual. You have to be a member of the cult (I am the leader and, as yet, the only member) before I can divulge the information.

@Gwendolyn2018 silly it's the chain gang rock pile counting that burns off the unwanted stored body fat .... and I am not following you to spruce up Jones Town Guyana even if you do marry me

@Larry68Feminist Tsk, Larry, if we married, I would be a totally submissive wife, doing whatever my husband wanted me to do; therefore, I would go to Guyana with you. And YES, I know the rocks are burning the calories. I hauled three loads today. I grubbed around in the dirt with a crowbar to loosen some. I have so many rocks that by the end of summer, my property will be safe from those carrying Covid 19 and zombies. In addition to high, wide walls, I can throw the rocks at anyone trying to trespass.


Hilarious Plague Blog !
With that many rocks in the lower forty, it would be well worth someone's time and effort to get them off whenever angst and ennui set in! Best wishes for the blog's success.

Thank you for taking the posts in the manner in which they are intended: comic relief! I posted these on FB, and my friends enjoyed them so much that I decided to post them here, too.

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