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Is that so important to choose your partner who has similar thoughts on religion? Why or why not?

Mhaque93 4 May 15
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39 comments

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8

I could not live with anybody who has sufficient intellectual dishonesty to claim that their own god exists while all other gods are false.

8

It is not really important because in any relationship you would not have the same opinion about a lot of things, having said that it is extremely import if one is a fanatic. Then give it a miss.

7

In my experience, my change of religions caused my wife to leave me and divorce me. My current spouse is a fellow atheist, so we get along quite well. 🙂

Glad to hear that. ♥️

7

To me very important! All the religious want to do is convert you or tell you how wrong you are, I was tired of that nonsense!

Hahaha. We all are familiar with that.

7

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

In my experience, being with a partner who is a believer does not work for me.

I felt same thing for my last relationship. It didn't last. I became confused on that whether I did any wrong.

@Mhaque93 I've been a bit of a slow-learner. I've attempted it several times.
It has never worked.
Sure, it's great in the beginning, like most relationships. However, as soon as
disagreements on the fundamentals start, it becomes a huge factor.

6

I don't think there can be hard and fast rules about something like this, in part because it depends on how well you and your partner respect each other's boundaries. It's challenging to be with someone who frowns upon aspects of who you are.

I agree with what @Lauren said. The more fanatic either party is (the atheist or the believer), the harder it would be. But if two people have more of a live-and-let-live mentality, it could work.

I think any cross-cultural relationship takes a lot more commitment & work than one that is domestic. That being said, there have been times I haven't minded. I was very close with a Christian Scientist for a while. The emotional pay-off must have been pretty good.

@TO_BY and @Apunzelle,

I agree, it would take more commitment. But the emotional pay-off may be good, so I wouldn't discount giving it a try.

5

Well, I don’t know about a believer and his or her partner. But in my case, an atheist, it is very important to have an atheist partner. A person that is not an atheist is by definition someone that has magical and irrational thinking, which all its unsavory ramifications. So, yes, in my case, it is important.

5

I think differences prompt discussion. Of course, while I’m tolerant, most Christians aren’t. It’s hard to be understanding when your partner isn’t.

5

It obviously depends on how militant you/they are. It would never occur to me to try to convert someone, nor would I tolerate someone trying to "turn" me. If you can both just move along side-by-side why not? On the other hand, drump lovers need not apply!

4

It is critical that my partner have a similar way of thinking, not necessarily similar thoughts. She must be a person who seeks the right answer, rather than seeking to be right. This type of mindset, combined with a high level of intellect, pretty much eliminates the religious.

4

As an atheist since age 13, I have dated Christians. We don't talk about religion.

But if someone tries to convert me, I'm OUT.

4

It matters very much to me, yes.

A third authority in the relationship is one too many, in my opinion. If I wanted that, I'd be polyamorous. 😛 Or find a guy with Mommy issues.

4

If you are able to live with and tolerate an arrogant, narcissistic, ignorant, fool then I don't see a problem. Applies to politics as well.

4

If they are not fanatical church goers and not overly religious and fully except your non belief this is ok as far as I am concerned

4

I think is all depends on how militant either of you are, if they expect that any children will be christened, attend church, be taught that gods are real then it might become a sticking point. If they are off to church every Sunday or expect you to change to suit their life it is not going to work. Similarly if you are adamant that the word god is never mentioned in the house etc it won't work. Depends on how deeply they believe, had a best friend who was religious sort of we got along really well he knew my views I knew his but we agreed on so many other things that was what we talked about if religion came up we could both joke about it.

3

Do you want it to last or you are just in for the sex?

3

I will assume that you are asking if it is important to me to be in a committed relationship exclusively with a non believer. Then my answer is no, it is not important to me. And the reason is that if as a couple you respect each other's boundaries, then there should not be any issues. BTW, my wife is a buddhist. She doesn't try to convert me at all and neither do I. It's a non issue in my household.

2

It might make for a more equitable relationship. Otherwise, imagine being a Cannibal,married to a Vegan.

Hahaha. lol.😂

2

I think you can marry someone who is a little bit crazy and have an interesting marriage, for instance, someone who believes they have an imaginary friend in the sky. I think a marriage between equals who are both sane and rational is the best match but this is not that easy to find, some people will settle, some will keep looking.
People who are bat shit crazy and rant and rave about their imaginary friend, demand that you do all sorts of absurd things to appease their imaginary friend (speak in tongues, handle venomous snakes, etc.) those ones you may want to pass on as lifelong companions. They can be a hell of a lot of fun for a short while and if you escape their clutches and live to tell the tale, you will have plenty of stories to entertain your friends with in your later life but is it really worth the risks?

And you'll both have something to watch on Sunday morning TV.

@fishline79 Who in their right mind would watch TV?

@Surfpirate Don't worry, you don't have to admit that you watch TV. We won't tell.

@fishline79 I own one but I don't have CATV or an antenna, sometimes I will connect the computer to it with an HDMI cable but other than that, it just collects dust. It's not like you can get any real news on the idiot box and the shows are all crap unless you want get involved with PPV. I haven't had time for it since the 90's but lots of people seem to like it.

@Surfpirate Frankly, I have learned much more from TV than from Social Media!

@fishline79 It's a small world after all.

2

Everyone is a little different from anyone else. The more tolerant we can be the more vast our prospects for a romantic partner become. Chose your level.

2

Any thoughts and opinion are welcome.

opinion

😮 😛 🙂

1

I'll play both sides:

ITS IMPORTANT:

  • You won't argue about how you'll raise your kids.
  • Your philosophies relating to how you see the world will be similar, thus allowing you and your partner to understand each other more often.

ITS NOT IMPORTANT:

  • Children raised in households with parents of different beliefs will be able to explore more avenues into how humans perceive life.
  • If you love your partner and your partner loves you (especially if the two of you don't discuss religion often anyways) then it doesn't matter as much.

All couples are different so this basic assessment might not apply to everyone. This is what I've seen though based on my experiences.

1

It’s not to me. If they can be cool with my disbelief then I can be cool with their belief.

1

Absolutely! I simply don't have respect for superstitious nonsense nor those who believe it.

1

My father has always been agnostic and my mother has always been a non religious believer . They have been married for over 35 years .They might not see eye to eye on various issues but this believer and non believer dichotomy has never been a problem in their marriage.People should not get married if they cannot except a spouses different ideas etc. Neither of them pushed me either way about what to believe or not to believe.

Why are you describing an agnostic as a believer? What do they believe?

I am describing my father the agnostic as a nonbeliever and my mother as the believer who believes in a god .I should have said believer and agnostic dichotomy .This would have been a clearer representation.

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