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When is Jesus coming back? The question on the lips of almost every believer.

Green_Soldier71 7 Aug 15

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Ain’t coming back. Romans did a good job.


I'm still waiting for Thor and Zeus to come back. They knew how to party.

They never went away!

@Gwendolyn2018 are you sure? I heard they went on a road trip with Elvis.

@Dougl35534 Pretty sure! I have friends who still worship (or at least acknowledge) them. Maybe they went on the trip and came back.


What do you mean? Jesus never left, in fact he's very thankful to be here.


when was he here?

Never and never had a penis either


Perhaps a more apt question is why Matthew 16:28 says:

"Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

Does this mean that some of those standing around are still alive over 2,000 years later???

. . . interesting, you know I have always wondered that when I read this passage

@thundergod Me, too! Christian apologetics have tried to explain it away as he didn't REALLY mean that early Christians thought the return was imminent, but I can't read this any other way.

@thundergod the King James bibles are only 500 years old is all fake bullshit

@Larry68Feminist . . . yeah, because 500 years ago someone randomly pulled a bible out of their rear end, up until then we had no bibles! smoke pot! power to the people!

@thundergod Gutenberg German bibles were only for priests .... your snide remarks are typical of illiterate stoners.... hebrew scrolls are bizarre cultish symbolism without vowels "read" by traditionS rather than scholarship

@Larry68Feminist Actually, as the first mass printed version of the Bible, Gutenberg copies were cheaper and more accessible to the general public. It was certainly not reserved for priests.



I saw Jesus in Walmart last week. He was wearing a mask, but I still recognized him.

Yeah, so how come the two fools on the road Emmaus didn't?

@Atheist3 Because I am not a fool and I have seen pictures of him. Duh.

@Gwendolyn2018 It could have been his twin? 🤔

@Atheist3 Well, maybe, but I noticed that all the bottled water had been turned to wine. Could Mortimer, his twin, have done that?

@Gwendolyn2018 Lol - Sure, didn't the Egyptian priests pull off the same trick with Moses? Are you sure that it wasn't some other rock idol like Elvis that you saw?

@Atheist3 Well, now, you have me doubting myself. You nonbelievers are really good at that. However, NO. Mortimer had to give up changing water to wine when he joined AA. The rock idols I saw were all overweight and wore sunglasses. Jesus looked ascetic and wore no glasses.

@Gwendolyn2018 I would have got an autograph! How much would that be worth on ebay? 🤑

@Atheist3 I respected his privacy. By the way, he was buying bread and fish.

@Gwendolyn2018 birkenstock has replaced geebush jeehobah ghostholes boots

@Gwendolyn2018 Fishburgers! One of my faves! Too bad you didn't get a sneaky selfie with him.


Jesus has come and gone. He went back to Mexico after tRump started fucking up the pandemic response.


On February 30th 😂😂😂

Calendars are all fake so December 32nd is a good time to amputate the prepuce 4 square inches of baby gawd penis flesh


My fervent wish is that believers hold their breath until he does........

i second that

Lemmings last brearh should also jump in hungry shark tanks or piranhas rivers


As it always will be


I thought the realy faithful ones believe Trump is the second coming.

he is the anti-christ

MussOLINI was an Atheist journalist TrumpOLINI is a bank robber for hire


Why do we care what is on their lips or on their minds? I can’t understand this fixation on what Christians or any other religionists may or may not be thinking, or wishing for. We know it’s all baloney, so why don’t t we just let them have their delusions if they wish and stop obsessing about what they think.

@Green_Soldier71 yes...and I’m doing the same in return. 😁

The problem is that they tale their delusional beliefs and pick out portions of their little holy book which they agree with and try to dorce them on everyone else.
I find it very sad that their wishful thinking robs them of the joy and wonder of really discovering the universe.

@HumanistJohn I feel sad for them too...but really don’t give much thought to their delusions,

They terrorize abortion clinics, force science book publisherS to include creationist lies on pages with Noah Ark explaining plate tectonics.....USA is forced to prEy to the flag and lies printed on our money ....xians are a big PROBLEM in Australia also


There are millions of Jesus people mostly in Philippines and for the alleged Jesua Nasoret there is zero evidence he existed or ejaculated into Miriam's alleged virgin vagina to give birth to himself.... this xian delusion is common but there is no "messiah" 1st or 2nd coming as the calendar itself is a fake backdated fiction only 13centuries running


If we could only get the fundamentalists to all believe that Jesus is waiting for the end of racism to return so that they all won't have to go to hell, that would be like 80% of racism done and over with in the next 5 years.


When is Jesus coming back? All I know for sure is that some of his first followers are still alive. He said that some of them would still be alive when he returned.


That's a very big question

Stupid question zero answers


I was in second grade when the seven day war in Israel took place in 1967, my parents took me from school because Jesus was about to take us all. Primitive 20th century superstition.

I had just graduated 9th grade and my new high school still under construction worried about riots in many USA cities and the genocidal invasion of Vietnam....the murder of Palestinians was 21 years running.... and war profiteering millionaire Billy Graham was trying to burn me in hell forever since I refused to take his bath eat his crackers and drink his bloody grape juice

The predictions over the centuries have been numerous, to say the least.
It's really funny when someone declares, upon every eclipse, that this is a sign of the return Eclipses are, of course, frequent and natural. I guess they were asleep in 2nd grade science class. Or maybe they went to a religious school and didn't get any science , other than "therefore god."

And every time I hear about the impending rapture, I think of Delta Dawn.

One day when I was a xian (a long time ago in a galaxy far far away) I looked at mt watch. It read 00:00. I figured that the rapture was here or my watch was broken...


Of course he can't come back, they put INRI on the Cross instead of R.T.S. ( Return to Sender).....LOL.


What's white n silver n shoots across the sky?
The Second Cumming of Christ!


Thanks for the opportunity to highlight a fine but relatively unknown atheist channel, called GodWorksOut. The video is from 4 years ago, and only a month ago, the channel resumed activity after a 3 year hiatus.

So what is the alternative?

"Therefore it is unnecessary for a prince to have all the good qualities I have enumerated, but it is very necessary to appear to have them. And I shall dare to say this also, that to have them and always to observe them is injurious, and that to appear to have them is useful; to appear merciful, faithful, humane, religious, upright, and to be so, but with a mind so framed that should you require not to be so, you may be able and know how to change to the opposite." - Niccolo Machiavelli (The Prince)


Y'know how you sometimes tell people "I;ll call you." but you never do because you didn't really mean it? Maybe that's what Jesus was doing when he said he'd be back. He had a lousy time last time he was here and just wanted out but said he'd be back just to be polite.

It's been 2000 years. The Xians just don't want to admit they've been stood up...or Holy Ghosted might be more appropriate.

I like that: "Holy Ghosted". But sometimes you might not have thought things through fully, or maybe you were "high". And you say to yourself "I must have been out of my mind". Here though, that might apply literally!


I wouldn't blame him for not coming back! Would you, given the flogging and nailing last time?

These Christians are so gullible.

Old joke fits that. Aliens come to Earth. A large delegation of world leaders, including some religious ones gather to meet with them. The aliens are very friendly. Finally, after a day of talks in how we and they can benefit each other, the Pope asks, "Do you know Jesus." To which the aliens reply, "Of course,he comes back every couple if years to visit. He has been visiting for a couple if thousand years." The Pope and his entourage are visibly perplexed and saddened. "He hasn't visited us in two thousand years." To which the aliens reply, "Well, gee, he loves our chocolate, what did you guys give him?"

@Beowulfsfriend love it.


10191 Oh, nevermind. 🤔


At the speed of light he would most likely not be out of the Milky Way galaxy so for him to take a U-turn it would take him almost another 2000 years to get back to Earth.


When hell freezes over.


Long time no show

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 15, 2020
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