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The whole Adam and Eve story is just hilarious. Adam and Eve were the first two people on this earth. They then had two children, Cain and Able. Cain and Able then went to another city to find wives.

Where the hell did the wives come from?

Dyl1983 8 Nov 23
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36 comments

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0

Maybe there was not only one god, but the "other" god made wives in other cities. That definitely must be the explanations. Or maybe god really has a wife who decided what he can do she can do better, just in other cites. Just saying.

6

And you wonder why incest porn is so popular in the red states...

6

Shhhh.... don't ask questions. Just believe!!🙃

5

Ever heard the story of the mountain hiker who discovered a block of ice with a frozen body in a cave. Upon examining the body it hit him and he ran down to the nearby village shouting he had found the body of Adam. How did he know it was Adam?

No belly button.

A couple tongue in cheek responses:

It was the fig leaf.

It certainly wasn't Eve, she wouldn't have hit him.

5

Unless you believe in Lilith who preceeded Eve. She was replaced because she was created equal to Adam, made from the same clay, not Adams rib. Adam complained to GOD, so expelled from Eden. Then Eve was created out of Adam to be supllicant to him.

But I never heard of Lilith, until about twenty years ago. I am 70 now. I was paying attention, but not to what was happening I guess. I miss all the good stuff.

@dalefvictor

The word lilit (or lilith) only appears once in the Hebrew Bible, in a prophecy regarding the fate of Edom, while the other seven terms in the list appear more than once and thus are better documented. The reading of scholars and translators is often guided by a decision about the complete list of eight creatures as a whole. Quoting from Isaiah 34 (NAB):

[en.m.wikipedia.org]

Lilith (/ˈlɪlɪθ/; Hebrew: לִילִית‎ Lîlîṯ) is a figure in Jewish mythology, developed earliest in the Babylonian Talmud (3rd to 5th century AD). From c. AD 700–1000 onwards Lilith appears as Adam's first wife, created at the same time (Rosh Hashanah) and from the same clay as Adam—compare Genesis 1:27.[1] The figure of Lilith may relate in part to a historically earlier class of female demons (Akkadian: 𒆤𒆤𒄄𒀀, romanized: lilîtu) in ancient Mesopotamian religion, found in cuneiform texts of Sumer, the Akkadian Empire, Assyria, and Babylonia.

@t1nick Thanks for the information. How do you write Hebrew (I assume) ?

@dalefvictor

By copy and paste. Lol

@t1nick Thanks, had not thought of it, thought you had to know what letters to use then find them somewhere.

And THIS is why I named my daughter after her. She will be the equal of any man.

3

Yeah - the absurdity doesn't stop there, though. There are MANY hundreds of pages of it.

3

But, did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?

3

What about the olive leaf?

Noah waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. 11And behold, the dove returned to him in the evening with a freshly plucked olive leaf in her beak. So Noah knew that the waters had receded from the earth.12And Noah waited seven more days and sent out the dove again, but this time she did not return to him.…

The earth was covered with salt water, but somehow an olive tree was growing?
What's up with that?

BD66 Level 8 Nov 24, 2020

The ancients knew very little about fresh water or salt water. It shows in the writings.

Yea and where did they get all the food for all the animals, not to mention that the ark had no ventilation system, no bilge pump, no charts or radar........you would have needed approximately 3 or 4 cruise ships to ferry all of this around, let alone a 400 or 500 feet long ark?

@SeaRay215ex And how did a wooden craft built with primitive technology withstand 30,000 feet of rain in 40 days. That's 750 feet per day, 31 feet per hour, 6 inches per minute. No wooden craft built today could withstand it.

@BD66 For my own edification, what makes wooden craft unable to handle a ton of rain and where did the 30,000' of rain figure come from?

@JeffMurray All the earth was covered with water. The elevation of Mt. Everest is 29,000 feet.
Go outside during a tropical downpour and you are looking at 2 or 3 inches of rain per hour. The Biblical flood was 6 inches per minute for 40 days. That's about 60 to 90 times harder rain than a tropical downpour.

@BD66 But what if the Earth was flatter when god made it? Do Christians deny the natural processes that create mountains?

I think the better angle is to point out the fact that it can't rain without water from the Earth evaporating into the atmosphere. No matter how hard and long it rains, the Earth won't ever be covered in water... Their contention would have to be that god added water to the Earth to flood it, then removed it afterwards. If that was the case, there's no reason why it had to rain equally hard all over the Earth or that all of that added water when had to be added in the form of rain.

I think the most salient point in all of this is how fucking ridiculous the stretches are that are needed to justify this book yet people still believe in it all. 🤦♂️

@JeffMurray If the earth were completely flat, it would all be covered by seawater about 2 miles deep, so God had to create ~3 times more water than there was on earth for all that rain, then he would have to "blow it away" with a strong wind. (Yes, the Bible really says that).

@BD66 I meant just the land mass could have been flatter, but either way it's all fucking ridiculous. Do you have chapter and verse on the blowing away sitch?

@JeffMurray Genesis 8:1 1But God remembered Noah and all the animals and livestock that were with him in the ark. And God sent a wind over the earth, and the waters began to subside.2The springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens were closed, and the rain from the sky was restrained.…

@BD66 So is the wind just got evaporation or is it blowing the water out of the Earth's atmosphere?
"Springs of the deep closing" negates the quantity of rain/weakness of the boat argument though.

@BD66 Come on, you cut a hole in the bottom of the boat so the water can run out. Wow!

3

Eve worked overtime!

3

We also do not know where the seven dwarfs came from.

@creative51 Same place as did Big Sky Daddy Gawd, i.e. someone's imagination.

@Triphid Don’t repeat that please. The Dwarfs don’t like it when someone rubs that on their noses!!

@Rodatheist You do realize that it is Politically incorrect to call them dwarves these day don't you?
They MUST be referred to a being 'Vertically Challenged people' instead.

@Triphid I see. Then, some of us should be called “Horizontally Improved”?

@Rodatheist Yep, I'm quite 'Horizontally and Equatorial Improved' so it seems in political correctness lingo, but NOT from drink beer, etc, etc, but from enjoying my own cooking and other causes....LOL.
And as such in P.C. then those who are underweight/skinny, etc, MUST be referred to as being 'Horizontally Challenged.'

3

The earth was populated. Adam was not the first human, he was the first Hebrew. The Genesis creation story is nothing more than a myth of how the Hebrew people came into existence and not the actual creation of the universe. All peoples, tribes, cultures have creation myths explaining how they came to be. The entire old testament is just a mythical story of their god (Yahweh) making a covenant with the Hebrew (Jewish) people and it has nothing to do with, or applies to, the rest of the people who have always inhabited this planet. I have nothing to substantiate this and just my opinion but I can make up shit as well as anyone else.

Except Genesis said he created the heavens and Earth, so that doesn't really add up, no?

It is just a creation myth. It doesn't have to be logical or make sense and can be anyway one wants to make it.

3

Eve: Asks the Same Question in the OP

Adam: "Listen, I can Explain..."

👀

3

And the Lord said "Let there be pasta!".

And there was pasta, and you could pig out on it for days on end.

(Please pass me that bottle of Chianti.)

2

You can always use 'Magic' to fill in the obvious gaps in the story.

BDair Level 8 Nov 24, 2020
2

The wives most likely came from the same substance induced trance from where the whole story came from in the first place.

2

I had to repeat CCD (Catholic Confirmation preparation) for asking that and other stuff. My attitude was apparently not welcome. LOL

And the genesis story was borrowed from the Assurians. So was Moses.

@creative51 It is actually the Assyrians btw, also they didn't run a 'Lending Library as such, in fact the Scribes under the Hebrew King, Hezekiah, merely 'mis-appropriated them' whilst doing a little light dusting of the shelves....LOL

2

Where did the people come from who built the city?

2

A city filled with what, built by what? Hey it was said that there were four people o Earth. Who did Cain and Abel have children with? Incest? Wow, no wonder we are having problems with mental capacities, now.

Too much inbreeding in Florida?

1

Never mind the wives,. if they were the very first people on Earth, where did this city come from. Those don't appear overnight. Something tells me God forgot to hire an editor for his book before publishing.

1

it wasn't intended to be literal. that concept came from the orthodoxy after the Nicean council. much like the vedas it was to be mythos.

1

And other cities? Good trick when you are the only people on earth.

1

if you read that literally you will never get anywhere ok; you might note how you are adopting the role of "wise" right now? Like a believer iow, only in reverse kinda?

1

All of this is nonsense that only the most naive or downright stupid would believe.

1

An where the hell did the city come from.

ha no but really "Nod" is code, so to speak, but any etymology can define it

1

In my church daze it was explained that Adam and Eve had lived so long that there were other communities of people in other areas by then, and Cain and Able could go there to find wives. In fact, so much time had went by that incest was not a problem then. OK. What about "original sin?" It was god who set us up for this by choosing the way by which we all got here. ROTFLMAO on this one.

1

From the hunter gatherers of course! Evolution was going on at its own pace. A bunch of people just stepped out of their garden and found the savages

Mimee Level 6 Nov 24, 2020
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