I went through a lot of the same things. After years of disrespecting who I am, I had to cut several family members out of my life. It wasn't easy and I'm not happy about it but it was necessary for my sanity. Hugs.

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

... i.e. "family" doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to mean. Blood relatives don't accept you? Go find yourself some new fam, cuz.

Tell them: "Look, I love you. I love you with all my heart. You've known me for years, and I know you as well as you know me. When you've been down, I've been there to lift you up. When I've been down, you've been there to carry me. For that, I am eternally grateful..

Now, please fuck off."

You know it is ok to tell them a topic is off limits.

Even though they are your family they aren't allowed to hurt you repeatedly or drag you down.

I see that you are quite young and this will ease as you become more confident in yourself and your sexuality. You are still of an age where your upbringing still has instilled a respect for your elders - regardless of whether that respect has been earned or is justified.
If your family are deeply religious, they may be genuinely worried about your future. Have confidence in your choices in life and who you are. It may be that they will always have difficulty understanding your choices but you need to stay strong and true to yourself.

Show them that who you are is a strong, confident, caring young woman that has strong moral values and probably has better christian values than they do.

If they continue to be unkind, carefully choose your time, but calmly and quietly ask them how they think jesus would treat somebody like you.

Don't be afraid to tell them how their comments make you feel, but rise above their fear and do not sink to name calling yourself. You are worth more than that.

I always advocate for avoidance. I don't like being around people who always judge me. I don't care what their connection is.

Taking time out. 15 years in another country was good. Now if they upset me I take a couple of weeks off, depending how I feel. Also know it's your life, they get to live theirs, you have to make the choice to live yours and not let them have too much control or power over you. All the best.

The closer the family members are the harder it can be depending on your relationship with them. However if they can't love and respect you for who you are then maybe take a step back from them if you can. Let them know that there are boundaries. If they can't live and let live then you can't let them in your life that much, or not at all. You have just as much right to your own personal beliefs and sexuality as they do to their own.

We are here for you dear.?

The way they are treating you says tons. Stick with your real friends and they will become family.

I try redirection and if that doesn't work blatantly telling them "look if you don't stop I will leave." And mean it. That's the important part. Every time they bring it up, just get up and walk away.

As soon as I hit puberty my relationship with my family went down the tubes. So many false accusations about my sexuality hurt my self esteem and destroyed my social life. Finally left home my senior year of high school. I had denounced Judaism at 16 which ostracized me from half my class and humiliated my parents. Everyone is different. I had a place to go to. Think it out. What is best for you?

Avoid them on religious holidays. Take vacations alone or with nonreligious friends on Christmas and Easter week. Suggest they serve Thanksgiving dinner with you in a homeless shelter to avoid fights at home. Make a pact with them: no religious talk on either side when you are together. If they truly love you they will try and be civil.

I still had to leave town and cut ties with nearly every member of my family because they were emotionally abusive. They are Southern Baptists and every goddamned one of them voted for Trump.

I guess it depends on the level of abuse. My mother has a bad habit of evangelizing to me every chance she gets. I finally laid down the law and forbid her from doing it anymore. Whenever she does, I leave. I left right in the middle of a lunch at a restaurant just last week. But this can be a hard stance to take and it might not be worth it to you. I've gone long periods of time without talking to my family. That sense of connection can be hard to lose. I would support and understand anybody who didn't want to take that step. But I got to the point where it was more painful to be around my family than it was to not be around.

Have you tried pointing out, "I'm right here & I can hear you". If they don't laugh and knock it off, remember this: just because you are related to themdoesn't mean you have to like them.

Yes, distance yourself from them. you can't choose your family.

You have to be straight up with them. Tell them to either except you the way you are or not at all. And don’t let them get away with talking bad about your sexuality. And as far as your lack of religion learn everything about their religion all its kinks and contradictions know it better then they do. then when they start in on your lack of belief rip their beliefs to shreds. It worked for me at twelve when I came out as atheist. It won’t take long your family will be like mine none of them will talk religion or politics with me because I always rip them apart.

I'm so sorry to hear. Advice? Just cut your losses and move on. My ENTIRE family turned their back on me. Parents, siblings, Aunts & Uncles and most cousins too. My father passed 4 years ago. After he died, I found out that he had specifically wrote me out of his will and that I knew why. Now mind you,, he was a supposed good christian man, Chairman of the Board of Deacons at a prominant Baptist Church. Well if he believes his own bible, (I don't) then he is burning in hell. 1 Timothy 5:8 states that anyone who doesn't provide for their family has denied the fath and is WORSE than an infidel. Too bad I don't believe in that heaven/hell nonsense. The best I can say about his fatherhood to me is that he supposedly provided the DNA for my creation, and I'm not certain of that. I didn't go to his funeral and I have yet to shed a single tear. My mother dies 6 years ago and left me a pittance too, just a fraction of what my siblings got. I went to her funeral but haven't shed a tear either. I just can't get worked up about someone who abandoned me during the worst times of my life. Hell my father didn't even come to the hospital nor called when I had my emergency open heart surgery.

However, I can recommend you viewing this youtube video I downloaded years ago:

The best way to deal with other peoples' or other family members' animosity is to intellectualize. If you can express your viewpoints and have a more intellectual, sophisticated, articulate viewpoint it will show them that you are more in control of yourself. If you enlighten them instead of taking a passive stance on the subject they will probably have more respect for your viewpoints, beliefs, sexuality. Hopefully everything will work itself out.

It is especially difficult when your own family is intolerant and toxic.

I left home at 16 and never looked back.

Be around as many positive (to you) people as much as you can. People can drag us down; people can buoy us up.

I'm so sorry to hear this! Know that you're certainly NOT the only person with a toxic family and it may be that you'll have to ''divorce'' yourself from them. There are excellent suggestions in these threads and I hope you can find one or two which feel ''right'' for you.

Otherwise, I'd suggest just leaving them behind, finding new ''family'' which you CHOOSE, not one which you have to endure. You have every right to love, support and acceptance from those you call ''family.''

If it were up to me, I'd draft a letter to everyone in your ''birth'' family and tell them what you've told us. "I love you all but it's very clear you don't love, respect or value me as I am. You should know that I'm leaving all of you behind to find a new, loving ''family," which will accept me as the good, kind person I am. If you feel you miss me and can love me without reservations, criticism and cruelty, give me a call. Otherwise, I'll be living a happy life without you."

BEST WISHES!

I’m not going to base my life on outdated bigoted concepts to appease ignorance and prejudice, please pass the mashed potatoes.