I made a mistake and am now being shamed for it, I went out with a couple of friends because it was the night of my senior prom, there was drinking and a lot of other things and sometime in the night someone slipped something into my drink, I blacked out and when I came back to my senses or as much sense as I could, I was at home with my father looking down at me telling me how much of an idiot I was I twisted my ankle and might have a slight concussion but am not allowed to go to the hospital for it bc I did this to myself, I made the mistake of going out for one last hurrah before I graduated and now I'm being shamed and shunned for it, what do I do? How do I deal with this?
Um, this is just my opinion, but...
I hope this is helpful.
OK, now I'm going to shame your dad. Not allowing you to go to the hospital for a possible concussin because you did this yourself is criminal. That said, high schoolers out drinking is always a mistake, but I should talk, I was one myself who did that. The other, much bigger criminal act was by the one who slipped something into your drink. I hope you are OK.
What on earth do you think was a mistake here? Celebrating senior prom? Drinking? Do you think all your friends were also making mistakes then. I don't think so. Not sure what the drinking age is where you are but here 18 is old enough to vote, to marry, to die for your country to buy booze and certainly to drink it. And if you had drank too much and passed out from over indulgence then you wouldn't be the first or last to test your limits. But it doesn't sound like that's what happened. If you're drink was spiked that's not your fault. Yeah sure there's some valid advice out there to be aware of the risks, to keep an eye on your drink and various tips to deter and detect those who'd take advantage. However whether you did all of that or not, it's still not your fault. Hospital first, police next and if your dad want's to obstruct justice ask him why he's on the side of the rapists.
You did nothing wrong. You are a victim! You can call 1800-799-7233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline) and see if they can help you. I worked in a domestic violence shelter, and this kind of thing happens more than I would like to admit. I agree with the consensus that you need to seek medical help, but it sounds like you may need help beyond that.
I'm not sure what you mean by "shunned." Are you kicked out of the family or grounded?
I see that you are 18, so here are my suggestions.
First, you take your adult self to the doctor if you need medical attention.
Next, if your dad is always that mean, you start saving your money and move out.
Third, try to be more careful when you are drinking. Keep your eye on your drink at all times. Know when enough is enough so you don't black out and get hurt.
P.S. THere is a new fingernail polish developed that all you have to do is dip your finger in your drink and it will change color if there are drugs in the drink. I don't know if this is out on the market yet but I know I got roofied and if they had had this I would have been wearing it to be sure. Maybe look into availability for future outings. Also you are one of our own, we will always support you.
1st you need to have your injury assessed, 2nd being drugged is an assault and it should be reported. As a parent I'd be hugely relieved that you were home but I'd want to know what happened, I'd question all your friends. Please talk to your dad, it's scary being a parent his reaction is because he's thinking of all the horrible things that could have happened, now he's desperate to contain all that fear inside anger. It wasn't a mistake to go out and enjoy yourself, you're not a bad person I'm sure your dad doesn't think so either. But he's really scared right now. Keep talking to him, tell him how scared you are to.
You ARE allowed, by law, to seek medical assistance. If you do go to the ER, ask for an exam to determine if you were sexually assaulted. If you were drugged, you are the victim of a crime. You DID NOT "do this to yourself".
Your father cannot prevent you from getting medical attention.
If you're old enough, get away from these people.
I agree with IAMGROOT, you were the victim, since when is it not OK for a female to celebrate and expect not to be assauted? The shame is on the ones who did this to you and the ones who would deny you care. At the very least Id say a rape kit is in order BUT they have a backlog of those sitting on shelves unprocessed years down the road. We live in a corrupt society. You have my sincerest sympathies but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Hold your head high!
Ok, you're well young enough to be my daughter. I might be upset depending on who you were hanging out with but you're still a baby in my eyes and going to be subjected to the world.
I would've taken you to the ER to make sure you're ok. Concussions are no joke.
It takes no time at all to "dose" a drink. It happened to me once, thankfully didn't hit my head but it messed my night up.
Please be careful and take this as a lesson of caution. I'm sorry you're having salt added to your wounds by those who should be watching out for your well being.
I think it would be wise to seek the opinion of a medical professional. If you have a concussion there are protocols you should follow while your brain is healing...one big one is no screen time. :-/
Also, don't listen to the jackass saying it's your fault. This happens to people who are 18, 28, and 58. You can't control other peoples actions. You could have been drugged drinking a soda. Take care of you...
Sounds like an abusive parent to me. If you need medical attention and are refused it by a parent I'm pretty sure that's illegal. As for the guilt trip...typical adult hypocrisy. I suppose your dad never made a mistake??
As a teen, my religious mother always accused me of having sex with somebody's daughter. I graduated from High School still a virgin. However, I later discovered good ole Holy one used to be a prostitute. Didn't judge her, but What The Fudge??
It's not your fault. your father is being a fool as you can crash your car badly and it be a mistake you made but it doesn't mean you don't go to hospital ffs. go to the doctors if you don't feel right my love. slip your dad a Micky in his coffee and tell him it's his fault.
Someone once being funny put hot pepper juice on the brim my glass when I was at a bar. It was someone I knew and I can tolerate very spicy. Let's just say he can still walk well with a slight limp these days. Call crisis report it, do not be an unrepresented victim.
Your father's behavior is not unusual but still cruel. You probably shouldn't have been drinking, but it ultimately wasn't your fault that someone drugged you. You didn't consent to take the drugs. It is unclear whether your family would understand this, but they should be both punishing AND supporting you. You got yourself into a very dangerous situation, and in college it will be even easier to lose track of things at a party. Next time, there may be no one to bail you out. Your family is probably afraid that something terrible could happen to you if they aren't there to help. Here are a few suggestions:
I hope this helps. Good luck with the rest of your senior year and I hope you are able to maneuver through college with a good head on your shoulders!