Hi guys โฅ๏ธ
I have been avoiding like hell to make a real post for months and I am trying to bullshit u w tick tocks so at least to be present
First of all I am alive , I am fine, and all is well
So no worries pls . Unfortunately back in late august , I got what I deserved , stupidity has a price . One minute u walk and talk and ready to run the night clown show at ED , and the next minute , u are the show . Thatโs what happens to people who refuse to listen to their bodies , they think they are Superman , and they ignore medical advice and friends advice . Yeah . That will be this moron here . In late august I found my self dizzy , numb , and w a bp of 220/120. The fuck
Thankfully I was at work ( where the fuck else would had be ?. Bad choices !) and I received the best care immediately for what it was a TIA . All the scans ( brain , neck , echo ), all normal . Cholesterol more than normal as well . Heart has issues , thatโs not news to me , and I do take med for abnormal rhythm . Anyways . I am fine , absolutely 0 deficits or other troubles , other than , once again I showed my ass to the whole ED , freaking out thinking โ thatโs it , I am having a stroke and which one of u assholes are driving to my house tonight , my boys. MY BOYS โ
( the drama Queen show
)
My boys were taken care great for 2 days by my work kids , I am thankful , omg guys , I am so thankful โฅ๏ธ
The whole story left me w a lot of thinking , and thatโs y I kept my mouth shut and my fingers down here on this site . I realize that I am not Superman , and nobody else gonna collapse bcz I wonโt be at work
I have been running since 2020 february w very few brakes , and really , stupidity
So I step down from half of my responsibilities. I have trained the last 4 yrs some great young cats and I have distributed the load , the budget , and management requirements in a way that I can sit back and do my minimum 36 hr a week and go home and turn my phone off too . It took me two months and countless meetings w HR admins , and the support that I received for my decision it was really amazing . ( I got people calling me to tell me to go home every x they see me around more than I said I will โฅ๏ธ)
I realized that I am not 30 yr old anymore . Fuck , not even 50. 52 since last month . And if I wanna make it to more , stress needs to go low . I got back to dedicating a day every week to volunteering w recreation department on ghetto nursing homes , thatโs something that I used to do a lot b4 covid , itโs sad , but . Also very rewarding at same time , old folks need a laugh and I am a clown
My patients every night I work at ED is a Russian roulette deal , and I can handle that just fine for 40 hrs , I like what I do . The drunks , the OD , the nanas w the hips , I love them all . Even the hideous and rude ones , hey , itโs hard to be sick , trust me . But there ainโt gonna be more than 40 hr of that for me every week , bcz strokes are real , and the 80 hrs and 90 hrs a week ainโt gonna happen again
The pics are from late October , where my work baby cats took mommy cat to a little trip within the state and next door to maryland too . I look like a f ghost , but hey, love me anyways , no beauty contest here , who cares , right ? I love u guys . STAY THE FUCK HEALTHy ! Capish ? Nothing else matters , health , few bucks to eat / safe , your friends / family , the lucky of u that get laid good for u too , but remember : health first . And dogs . And cats . And whatever u got โฅ๏ธ
Thank u Glenn and Vera for listening to my fears and thoughts the last 3 months , #wegonnamakeIt
Happy to hear that you're doing well! Strokes are no joke! My mom had another one and is back in the hospital, so I'm awake until she calls me back and let's me know when she gets a room. Plus she's been calling me to talk to her nurses and doctors.
So sorry it happened to you! Stress isn't good, you need to relax! Please take time out to relax and drink lots of water!!! Hugs for you and your recovery!!!! โค
Geez, not good. Hope your mother pulls through okay.
You can whop a woman's ass until you are blue in the face, but she ain't going to learn anything until she wants to. The same goes for men.
But less of that frivolity ...
I am delighted that you are better, and that you have learned the importance of self-care. ((Hugs))
I had no clue but I am not surprised given what you've told us of the crazy since the pandemic hit. What I am so very glad for is, you and the fur babies are all doing good. At 52 you're just a pup I'm coming up on 70, that's a bit of a shocker, for me anyway.
Stress, even "good" stress can only go on for so long before something gives, you are loved and stepping back will give everyone more time to enjoy having your light shine. Stay well. Hugs!
Good lord! TIA's are scary, I remember when my old pop had one while I was visiting. Can't imagine going through it myself. Yes, yes, do slow down, by all means! I want you around for a long time, who's gonna laugh at my memes? Sounds like you have a good support system, and do make more use of your pooches to keep that BP nice and low. big hug
Yaaaay.. you healthy.
Love itmm
Please stay that way..cause the world would suck without you...
And keeping to your new schedule will help de-stress you..it's hard letting go of responsibilities..but like you said..Your health 1st.
And Vacations take more of them.
.welcome back beautiful.
Iโm glad you are doing better sweet lady. Please do take more time for yourself and get some rest as often as you can. This world of ours needs people like you, so do slow down and take better care of you! sending you a big hug.
Stay well and please please please take it easy. The world is far better with people like you in it.
So glad it was a TIA instead of a full-blown stroke. This site would be less than great without you so I'm glad you have found ways to slow down. We need you, your boys need you and you must take care of yourself or we are going to be in mourning.
I agree with Glenn your pictures are beautiful as usual.
Glad you made it through to your insight about burning out before anything super serious happened. ๐ฆพ
I gave up routinely doing overtime almost 5 years ago. Even take Thursdays off when I can.
Saying โNOโ to ridiculous amounts of time at work is a surprisingly mature decision that often times seems to escape the adult brain.
you're a goddess. yes, you gotta take care of you, first. otherwise, what good can you be for others. your posts are always cool, and very open and honest. plus, i love it that you can be self mocking and keep your humor. big bear hugs. stay smart and cool. peace and hugs
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Welcome back, I missed your adventures and tales. I must say, I really do not enjoy Tic Tok. So glad to hear you are okay and going to return to human life, giving up the super hero role you had put yourself in. Thankfully your body gave you a warning rather than a full blown shut down! Being on my third pacemaker, the last one with a defibrillator, I have become a professional relaxer. My first pacemaker was installed at 57.
You are a true beauty, both physically and in your spirit of serving. The world needs more of you to make up for all the assholes running around. Anytime I would need to go to the ER again, I would love to be in yours. My nurses always told me I was the happiest sick person they had met! We would have fun!
Relax! Like Barnie here!
@Barnie2years โฅ๏ธโฅ๏ธโฅ๏ธ
220/120! Yikes! Glad you didn't blow a gasket, girl. Take it easy. Breathe deep. Relax...
Work to live not live to work. Your profession has copped it the last few years, burn anyone out. I try to only stress out regarding work depending on my hourly rate eg $20/ Hr not care so much. $50/ Hr now I'll give a fuck.
Keep on keeping on.
As a delivery truck driver once posted on a discussion board regarding workers and bosses, and their business relationship, he said, for X amount of $ per hour, the boss can expect the worker to sacrifice their body and energy to give them an honest day's hard work done right, if the boss wants more than that, like a sunny attitude, that will cost more $. Take it or leave it... And nowadays, fortunately, workers have more power in the workplace than they had ten or twenty years ago, for now at least, so the bosses know that if they want to require that sunny attitude, without paying more, and fire the worker over it, replacing them may not be as easy as it used to be and surely not as easy as they would like it to be...
And I absolutely love seeing that, even if it means worse service for me these days at restaurants and stores, because, as a socialist, it does my heart good to finally see these pricks and bitches that are the bosses finally start to get what they deserve, after all these years of them being able to shit on their workers with no consequences...
@TomMcGiverin agree with the big businesses fully, but if people work at a growing small business, it will be give and take.
Huawei have an owner/ worker set up ie if you work there, you become part owner as incentive.
Worked on oil rigs and one time all gone to shit eg stuck in collapsing hole with expensive geo kit down hole. was due out the next day and the big boss, who I got on well with, pulled me up as he walked past, me with a smile on my face.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to smoko, staying out of all the knobs way" (knobs being technicians bought in to get us out the shit). Not one to stare at others working.
"What! Now?! Don't you care what's going on?!!!"
"Not really, home tomorrow. Pay me your wage and then 'll give a fuck" (He was on over $2000/ day)
He called me the C word with a smile on his face and we parted friends still.
@puff Agreed, small businesses, it has to be more equal, give and take in respect and cooperation, tho I have worked in small businesses were the boss was a prick and treated me like a slave. So I think you and the oil rig boss were on the same page tho, where you and him got the point that for you to give as much of a fuck as him, he needed to pay you more like him, than just what you were getting paid.. Atta boys, pats on the back, etc. don't mean a fucking thing, as far as appreciation. What does cut it is better or more pay, or more paid time off...
So he called you a cocksucker, with a smile on both of your faces. The only time I use that word is as an insult for hetero men that I hate so much they deserve it, because, to me, they are the kind of lying cocksuckers that will lie thru their teeth to stab you in the back at work, while currying favor with the boss to get ahead of you and figureatively suck the boss's cock to get favoratism from him over you. Thus, they deserve my label of being a lying cocksucker, no offense meant to good or decent men who are actually gay...
@TomMcGiverin Exackery. Yes, some small business owners are Hitlers but good experience, just don't get stuck there.
@puff I didn't. This guy was a real gold-plated asshole, as far as the boss that was abusive, rather than a lying cocksucker. He was the boss, and boy did he love to ride me in front of my co-workers, just for his pleasure and amusement. It was obviously about me being way more educated than him, so he resented that I came from a more well off family than him and went to college. So he treated me like the typical college boy worker that he resented and had to put in his place and bully me. What a small-minded, insecure little man he was...
I came to find out, a few years later, after I was free from him, that his father, who he had treated like shit while I worked for this asshole, was now estranged from him and wanted nothing to do with him, so, there was that tasty bit of karma to enjoy about him later on.... The guy's father gave me the news himself when I ran into him and asked him about his son, my former boss...
@TomMcGiverin Sounds like a charming fellow
@puff Wonderful sarcasm... He actually told us, during the Clinton scandal over his sexual perjury, that he voted for Bill, even tho he was very much a Repub small businessman, because he "admired him for still being able to get oral sex from a young woman" at Clinton's age. Yeah, he was a real prince of a guy to work for....
@TomMcGiverin PS not a cocksucker, the other "C" word. Was in Australia We use it liberally over here but meaning depends on context and how you say it. He was calling me a smart arse in this context.
@puff Ok, I get it now. I have only rarely heard that used here in America for a male that another man despises. Personally, I have never used the C-word for or about a woman, which is the gender I have normally heard it used about. I guess I just find it way too vulgar to label any women. Guess I've either led a sheltered life, or I am over-sensitive, probably some of both.
@TomMcGiverin We use it to describe our day, to insult, to praise, for inanimate objects. As versatile as the "F" word really in Australia.
@puff Interesting versatitlity.
I'm glad the TIA happened where you had help. I have atril fib myself, for almost 12 years now, but no episodes for a few years now. I know how getting your rest and staying hydrated, as well as managing stress, all play a part in keeping cardiac issues stable and preventing episodes of heart problems. So now you know better and will take better care of yourself.
I remember doubles and "hurry-backs" when I was an LVN. And 80 hr weeks. It definitely takes a toll. I am 53 and couldn't imagine it now. Be careful. Don't burn out! I kinda did, found myself feeling less compassionate, took a while to realize it. I changed careers and have a nice job in an office now doing something I like. Sometimes I do feel like I am not making a difference as much and even feel a little guilty. But I know I would not have made it in that job at that speed. So good luck and stay safe!
Cripes, once again I got the feeling something was up with you as I haven't seen any extended posts from you on here in some time now, and was going to ask you how you were doing on one of your recent replies on one of my posts, but then I stumbled across this post and it pretty much answered my question.
That's not good, hope you recovered fully from that, because something like that could turn serious real fast. Times like this wish there was something more I could do than wish you the best, and I'm sure a number of others on here feel the same way. Dedication of that sort is a rarer thing nowadays, and the hospital you work at should be thankful they have an employee like you. Do hope you find ways to de-stress and the spare time to do so. Take care.