Agnostic.com

21 4

When did confront become offense?

For left leaning views, when confronted they take offense (extreme left run away to hide in their "safe space" ).

For right leaning views, when confronted they go on the offensive (extreme right become Nazi bully boys/girls and start personally threatening and belittling people).

What ever happened to the middle/ civil ground ie when your views are confronted......be confronted?

powder 8 May 5
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

21 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

10

If you are NOT offended by racism, hatred, mysogeny, lies etc...I don't really see any point in keeping you in my life in any way. There is no compromise on decency.

Lia65 Level 4 May 5, 2018
8

Polarization... we as a nation always disagreed politically but now nothing gets done... it was in the past the normal tug of war over ideals and then win or loose together we find the common ground and move forward, or backwards depending on your view. I’m just as bad, what’s going on in Washington I see as so horrible I can’t find grounds for compromise. I wonder if we will ever have a middle again or if we will just keep fighting. We can only find our way to the middle if those we oppose will meet us halfway, we’ve gone of the rails! Democrats are going to take controll again and Republicans are going to block everything they can till it flips again and the dems get back to obstructing... It’s almost like you can’t belong to a political party anymore, it’s an obstructionist party no matter which side you’re on.

We need a revolution!

I agree, to the point you describe Democrats as obstructionists, or perhaps equal obstructionists.. My disappointment with Obama was him not more aggressively taking on the Republican obstructionists. Inviting ‘them’ to the table was a recurring mistake. But, he was a facilitator, not a warrior…

And in order to be relevant in an election, Democrats have to match the tactics of their opponents fundraising, or not bother to run.. Democrats fought for various campaign donation limitations ..and lost. The Clinton’s took constant shit for raising money, but had the intelligence to realize (if not born into wealth), if you don’t win an election, you change nothing..

8

Sadly, neither the left nor the right has a monopoly on the listed behaviors. My personal views might best be described as "socially liberal" and "fiscally conservative." I'm a registered Republican, but of the progressive sort that has largely been driven to extinction by the current batch of right-wing zealots. My political role models tend to be Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, and Dwight D. Eisenhower. Sadly, most of the people I need to confront these days are members of my own party, which leads to the ultimate slap -- somebody calls me a "RINO" (Republican in Name Only.) C'est le guerre.

I honestly haven't had any of my "lefty" correspondents run off to a "safe space." It's just as well, because there really aren't any. Indeed, those on the far right are the ones who tend to retreat from argument and confrontation when faced with enlightened debate rather than the ad hominem attacks they are more familiar with. I've been threatened by both sides, so again there seems to be no high ground on either side of the fence.

Your comment resonated with me. I, too, am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. I identify as a Democrat because my father was a Democrat. I long for the days when we were not so polarized as to vilify any who disagreed with us. There are many fiscal issues that should be debated without the animosity and name-calling so common today. (Make a list.) My social liberalism leads me to believe the government should not dictate things like morality--whom I sleep with, marry, or otherwise hobnob with--but behavior that damages others should be proscribed--"My freedom to swing my fist ends where your nose begins."

@FrankB38 I identify with your statement as I have similar leanings. And also in the area where I live it is impossible to have a sane discussion on gun control and what that means.

@FrankB38 I think the sides are entrenched in perpetual warfare, sadly. The rest of the world has Football (soccer, for us backwards Americans) and we have politics. It's a team sport, with colors, mascots, and cheerleaders. This is what years of defunding classrooms and standardized testing, instead of innovation and development of critical thinking in our youth has reaped.

Congratulations, and ‘thank you’ for hanging in there. I’ve only two long-time friends still with the Republican party, as I once was.. Can’t say it was the religious zealots that drove me out, but it happened after the Carter/ Reagan election, suppose I’m a ‘Carter Republican.’ Good commentary, accurate & honest..

8

Because ideology and government policies can kill.

In the United Kingdom the Conservative government has implemented a vicious regime of cuts, all under the banner of 'austerity'. The government told us it was necessary and that everyone was suffering together.

In reality only the poor, vulnerable and sick suffered. 120,000 people have died because of austerity. People have been made homeless and been forced to beg at food banks.

This was unnecessary and cruel. Britain is the sixth richest country in the world.

This is why people get offended, because in reality it's about whether people are compassionate or cruel. It's literally a matter of life and death.

I agree with that. Here in the US we split off in a two groups those that care and those that could give two shits whether or not people starve and die.

@NotConvinced

I suppose there will always be people who don't care about others. Selfish people.

I care. And I'm angry. Two young people at the homelessness charity I volunteered at killed themselves because life for them was too bleak - because other people don't care.

So I vote and hope for Democratic Socialism to return to the UK so that the holes in the safety net can be repaired so that no one has to live on the streets or starve.

And if you don't care about other people - why should others care about you?

@Kojaksmom

I agree with your comment.

Actions speak louder than words. Policies that come from the left or the right are usually predictable. In general, the left are usually fighting for the poor and the right are usually battling for the rich. It gets complex because there is a right wing element within the Democrats too.

These reputations have been earned.

I think your comment was accurate and succinct.

@Crimson67

She never actually said 'Conservatives' and 'Democrats'.

@Crimson67 While most people care about others, there's a fundamental difference in how each wants our social problems addressed. I'll admit I'm very far left and I see many of the individual's tragedies as a shortcoming of society. Equality of opportunity, robust public education, social welfare that supports those working poor among us that our economy relies upon, and universal healthcare are some of the things I believe we should collectively support and fund. I don't think any person should have to prove their value in order to access the trappings of basic dignity. I have friends/acquaintances who believe none of those things are the responsibility of the collective society and that those in need should seek charity or work harder or expect less from life. Without exception, those who think and say this have never suffered extreme poverty, they are financially well off, active in their communities and churches, and do support charities of their choosing - pillars of society, if you will. In conversations with them, I'll admit that I get emotional and have to fight the urge to retreat, because they don't ever reach out in empathy. They don't try to imagine the life of the person needing help. I've put myself in their shoes. I've tried to imagine how terrible they must feel to give up part of their income and not control how it's used and who it benefits, but then I realize I'm already doing that (with less tax protections than they enjoy, by the way.) These are people who say that a person with a cell phone and nicely manicured hands isn't poor enough to deserve their tax dollars. How do we meet in the middle when this is the face-to-face attitude we're dealing with? It's not just conservative/Republican/right-wing politicians who push this heartless agenda. Their upper middle class base believes it, as well.

@Crimson67 it doesn't necessarily have to be conservatives and liberals. It literally is people that care and people who do not. Everybody leaves the Libertarians out of arguments. If I was to tell a conservative/ Republican/ libertarian that I don't mind paying higher taxes if I know my money is being used to better the lives of people and our society, I would be torn to absolute shreds .Libertarians /republicans are alike in their rabid defense of the Second Amendment. Yet they don't listen, and they go on the attack when we talk about gun violence.

@NotConvinced you're absolutely right .instead of whining about how liberals always try to take the moral High Ground, own your shit. If you believe that money and business are far more important than people, own it. If it's a part of your political ideology that corporations are people own it. At least then people could agree to disagree. (And it beats the hell out of calling all Liberals are bunch of whiny ass babies that need somebody to wipe their ass and spoon-feed them)

@Crimson67 While some listen, other’s do. When doing does damage, something more than ‘listening’ needs done..

@clarkems

That's simply not true. Austerity is an ideological attack on the working class.

If what you said were true the middle classes and the rich would have suffered too. But they haven't. In fact they've gotten richer.

6

Division has been, and continues to be cultivated. We (in the US) no longer perceive a shared threat and have felt our excessive standard of living decline, while allowing the wealthiest to escape social responsibility to the point each side (the left = informed & tolerant) (the right = misinformed & belligerent) has been pitted against the other. One funds nasty ‘think tanks’ and propaganda-mills because they're such a tiny percentage of the culture ..yet possess an inordinate amount of the wealth; the other relies on ‘people power,’ which only awakens when conditions become intolerable...

For the most part, ‘the left’ is more tolerant and willing to live with less, thus have a far wider threshold to anger. ‘The right’ wants what their wealthy overloads have - and they want it now! ‘The middle’s’ there, but shrinking.. It’s tragic, and perhaps a vivid example that a nation made up of so many representatives of humanity still falls victim to greed and aggression.

Varn Level 8 May 5, 2018

Yes. The one percent versus the ninety-nine percent. And the big chunk in the middle who apologise for and enable the one percent.

@Crimson67 You can not educate the masses in an election cycle.. Hillary had been targeted for decades and the Republican shock-troops marched to the polls … while the liberal purists ran away. The left is up in arms because trump won, the radical left, because Bernie lost..

The poorest of the poor weren’t ‘attacked.’ Their standard bearer openly suggested Hillary be ‘locked up’ or shot! -- she in turn called them a ‘basket of deplorables?’.. No contest.

The poor & poorly educated remain the Republican base (did not think that needed pointed out), and the few that actually did vote deserve the ire of the nation - the world! We are not responsible for their ignorance, no matter how sincere.

Blinder-less (thus atheist), the 3 hours I spent waiting to see Bill Clinton prior to this tragedy was alongside this nation's best, those deserving our admiration, not our pity. Had to cross the bridge into Washington state with a college age daughter by my side, but ‘those are the people’ we identify with - level headed, educated and experienced Democrats ...who delivered our States to the woman who should be president.

Not ‘liking Hillary’ or not wanting to ‘have a beer with Al Gore’ is no excuse for the poverty plagued ignorant to vote against the best interests of themselves, our nation, or this planet. The politically experienced knew better, but giving HRC the majority of the popular vote wasn’t enough. Comey’s boyscout behavior, Russia's collusion, Bernie fanning the flames and several decades of Clinton’s in the cross-hairs brought us this train wreck, not the level-headed Left.

@NotConvinced I’ve not ‘blocked anyone’ … but then I’m only as far left as this nation’s will go to..

@Ellatynemouth The tragedy is this nation allows that one percent to constantly campaign against anyone looking to promote the general welfare of the masses. But, it’s been a very slow boil… Guilty of stating my thoughts, the one’s I’ll hold back are how ..fucked our nation is.. I’m not fooling myself, but don’t want to rob a drop of hope or energy from those coming behind... Having given more than most to both educate and advance our nation ..don’t know how much longer I can pretend to hold out hope. When those who should be ‘left,’ are criticizing the same ..well, as one poster put it, “The political engine that runs the US loves that” - and aiming that train from the caboose doesn't work 😕

@Varn Way to go Varn.

@Varn, @Crimson67 So the Conservative base, who are not wealthy continuously vote against their own economic well being. That is called stupid. You can't fix stupid. ☺

@Crimson67 ...don’t know what you’re talking about 😉 but when someone becomes that hostile ...they’ve usually lost their point.. And boy, everything’s personal? Your previous points were covered, I see nothing more but defensive drivel, for which I can’t help..

@Crimson67 l have no problem calling stupid people stupid any more than l do calling a smart person smart. Stupid gave us Trump, and this is not a small thing. The repercussions of having this man as our President could last a long, long time.

6

I believe you are characterizing people too generally. In addition your conclusion is too general.

Middle Ground? No, that's just a cop out.

5

I'm sorry, but when I'm confronted with bigotry, racism and other hateful views I refuse to back down, there is no middle ground with that and I will not respect your views or opinions.

5

I am very liberal, I have no use for a "safe space" and will stand my ground if I feel like I need too. I will not threaten, but I will stand up for what I feel is right. I will not back down from a bully or a troll. I am nearly impossible to offend, I rarely if ever take anything someone says about me personally. I won't rant and rave, but will state my position. I can't really remember getting physical, but I am not afraid of it. I have stood between a woman and her abusive pimp who was threatening to kill her and me. Of course, I am a 71 year old, and I have horses who weigh around 1100 to 1500 pounds, a 120 pound dog, and adult pigs, and was raised in a farm town in the 50's, so my experience is probably not like people who have grown up with the internet, and perhaps not having to do a lot of physical labor, or stand up for themselves against bullies. I don't want to imply that I am better than they are. I am just saying that my life experiences have been different, and that may have developed different coping skills that I have. For example, I was a hippie, and still have a lot of hippie sensibilities, although I have grown out of the irresponsibility of the hippie lifestyle. I lived in an area of very conservative, christian people, who looked down their noses at me. They thought I was crazy. My parent's generation thought hippies were irresponsible, drug addled, lazy, and worthless. So, now we are still polarized, and it may have been the internet pouring fuel on the fire. As far as confrontation goes, I think it is possible to confront a person, without being aggressive. I don't see any reason why I can't, for instance, ask a Trumper to address specific concerns that I have about him, and expect a coherent answer, without jingoism, and if they are unable or unwilling to answer, I can ask them why they won't. I would not see that as confrontation.

5

The social media, internet age has exacerbated the social bubbles humans dwell in, this has in turn been politicized. It has led to the death of nuance and actual discourse and led to an amplification of what Buffalo Springfield euologized in song decades ago

"What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side"

Now it is just non stop and online
and that is bleeding back into the real world
Look at Charlottesville if you need an example

5

If you confront someone, you are bringing hostility and aggression into the conversation. Although a few people will "turn the other cheek" and remain civil in the face of hostility/aggression, the normal reaction is fight or flight, exactly as you've described.

Maybe a better question is why people feel compelled to confront those they disagree with, rather than politely expressing and explaining why they disagree. If you find that people respond to you by either arguing back or by disengaging, perhaps you should reconsider the way you present your thoughts.

@NotConvinced Why is it a weakness to be offended by something? Can't I be offended by the ideals of white supremacists and maintain my strength and dignity? Taking offense doesn't mean turning up your nose and striding off in a snit. It means that you find something intolerable. It's how you proceed from there that proves your mettle.

5

Yeah, whatever happen to listening to someone else point of view and learning something from it. People get so angry when you don't think like them these days and so surprised when you don't agree with them but still happy to be their friend.

4

Dialogue is possible only when both sides agree to remain in the rational and empirical realm and when both sides to remain civil and to allow their ideas to be tested. Those are conditions that the right winG seldom allows or meets. Your statement about the left is a load of crap.

@powder And you generalize from one poor case -- not very smart. In your episode, both your comments were unintelligent.

4

We don't need "middle ground". We need manners and maturity.

You be you and have your values, your beliefs, your platform. I'll be me and have mine. We'll be mature and respectful toward each other, stay focused on the issues at hand, refrain from personal attacks, and check our identifications at the door. We don't have to agree on anything. We can tear each other's arguments to shreds without ever stepping on a single toe or ruffling the smallest feather.

Problem-solving and cooperation take communication. Communication takes effort, patience, humility. Seems to me like people just want to be spiteful.

4

When I get confronted by lies, evasions,and pernicious nonesense, yeah, no kidding, I get PISSED OFF!
You?

Was never able to suffer fools gladly. Have always held to the belief that you cannot rationalise with the irrational, nor reason with the unreasonable so, when identified as such, my conversation with them is immediately terminated.

@NotConvinced Truth shouldn't be subjective.

@bolshevik41 ...I’ll go as long as I feel safe, and that a smidgen of reality may be sinking in..

@NotConvinced TRUTH cannot be subjective, by definition.

4

"There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos" Jiim Hightower."

Our political actors tend to follow their party's dictates, not their own views or those of their constituents because the cost of running for political office in USA is ludicrous. Without the party's financial support many would not run, and even if they have the money to run, the party determines what kind of political position and hence power they will be able to wield.

The far ends of the political spectrum know they are outliers and they just don't give a damn.

cava Level 7 May 5, 2018
4

A question I have been asking myself lately . What gets me is without any middle ground there will never be a compromise or a resolution just a constant argument where either side thinks they are right

@Crimson67 or you get the "here's a paragraph of me agreeing with you , with a silly joke at the end " and they will focus on the silly joke telling you how much of a monster you are

3

We've become a troll society, from the president on down.
No one is interested in discussions.
They jump to their extreme and defend it against all comers then return to their echo chamber for congratulatory hugs.

3

I would like to think there are still enough people out there willing to discuss anything in a civil rational way. Let me re-phrase that... I want to think there are.....

2

I am left leaning. As a matter of principle. I will engage folks but I am not willing to labor emotionally with folks that are willfully obtuse. I prefer to save extended conversation for those who want to get unstuck and are trying to stay open minded.

1

I believe a lot of barriers are raised when one begins categorizing people and then applying generalizations to each group.

1

Totally we need a middle ground. We are so polarized right now. Friendships, relationships and once friendly neighbors have been destroyed by politics. Hoping these midterms take back the House and give Congress leverage vs the Executive Branch and its executive orders on religion, sexual discrimination and social standards.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:74002
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.