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I shouldn't have to state the obvious, but men on this website who are hoping to date might want to rein back on the attacks and trolling every time a woman says anything they disagree with.

Few women want to date a man who insults and denies everything she says.

In my case, I just block them and get rid of them, but perhaps they should consider their ways.

birdingnut 8 May 25
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33 comments

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0

I don't know whether to laugh or not at all the YouTube videos where one person allegedly 'DESTROYS' another person's argument. Even if it were true, and I I've never found the claim to be true, it would be so counter-productive that it would be something like a Pyrrhic victory.

18

They're weeding themselves out. It's best they do it now than waste your time or worse.

17

There is a reason why they are single.

16

I have seen a few post on here that bash women. Some guys on here swear they know so much about the opposit sex. Pretty much everything except how to get one to stick around.

14

Unfortunately it seems that having a rational mind doesn't mean men aren't also going to be misogynistic. I was a member of a very large (like 50k members) atheist Facebook group and got kicked out for pointing out some blatant misogyny. Well, not a great loss for me but still very disappointing.

I wish there were more men like you.

@Ellatynemouth Well that's very sweet of you to say, thank you. Not sure how to respond other than say "me too"!

13

Let misogynists spout their misogyny. It makes it easier for women to spot the ones to avoid.

@SallyMc

This is true as well.

But we can't change other people. It's easier for us to identify them and steer clear of them. I'd rather see someone's true colours from the beginning than find out later after I've emotionally invested in someone.

13

I 100% agree - and have had only a few interactions like this here personally but have witnessed way too many. I agree with some of the comments here and on other threads that suggest that the internet has emboldened people (mostly men, it appears from my unscientific and anecdotal evidence) to hide behind their screens and let their inner incels out to play. This is so horribly damaging to all, but sadly, I am not surprised anymore.

Having said that - I have met more wonderful people here, and more wonderful gentlemen, who are here to have good conversations and community (dating aside). So - here's to the exceptional people out there!! Wonderful Men - we know who you are. Thank you.

And THANK YOU for acknowledging all of us!
😉

12

As an over-65, this phenomenon is so common.....i Treasure the 3 or 4 guys who may not agree with me politically, for example, but refrain from putting me down as a "dumb woman"....one is so rabidly drumpy we avoid the subject altogether, but what attracted me deeply was his willingness to talk to me as if I were his equal.....so rare!

I have a couple dudes on my fb that are very diametrically-opposed to me on several issues - social, political, gender, etc. They're at least not virulent Men's Rights Activists (who I would block), but we can get into some pretty hefty arguments sometimes. Still, it's valuable to me so that I have a personal look into "the other side" on issues to keep me from living in an echo chamber

12

I am a dude and I totally agree. Trouble is most people on the internet will easily insult another because they don’t have to actually see them face to face.

11

I guarantee every man you're talking about just read that and thought, "I wonder who she's taking about" Smh

10

Kindness kindness kindness ... I strive for this daily, I fail at it on occasion and I succeed at it often. If I were here to date I would be no different than you see me now. I think you give good food for thought, we should all pause and reflect on how we are being and how we can be better. I will make an effort to pause and breath before I respond and perhaps this will encourage others to do the same. If our intention is to be a community let’s be a community to be proud of.

8

This perhaps explains why they're single.

Male entitlement, sexism and misogyny have prompted me to block a few too. Luckily most of the men I've chatted to here have been lovely.

7

Honestly, I think confrontational people will pick fights regardless of gender.

7

I can understand why you would be offended by misogynistic comments, any attack rooted in sexism is a nonstarter as far as I'm concerned but isn't it also helpful to have those people self identify for you. No point in wasting the cost of a cup of coffee on a date with someone you wouldn't cross the street to say hello to, is there?
My wife and I don't agree on everything (thank goodness - how boring would that be) but our discourse is always respectful of each other, no matter what the topic. We would never seek to muzzle each others opinion as it defeats the whole purpose and undermines being in an open and trusting relationship.

Perfect!

@TeacherMissEmm I've been a feminist ever since I realized that at least half of the people in my life that I really care about are women that are either friends or family. Nobody fucks with my friends or family.

6

There is much to be said for civility and acting like adults.

6

Most guys never grow up.

Why is that?

@HippieChick58
Well, it's lots more fun being large children.

@HippieChick58 Why is a good question. but not always answerable. You could have a litany of answers none of which may be right.

@HippieChick58 My theory is that males have been allowed to get away with this behavior for so long. Since there are no consequences for these actions, they continue to repeat them. Although, I am glad that this is not true of all men. I find most men on this site to be much more evolved than that.

5

I just blocked m first man because of his ignorant response to this post. So glad to know how to do that now!

can you provide the link to the annoying response.

This is what I warned you about. Once an offender is blocked, the woman who blocked him can no longer "see" anything about that person, so why are you demanding she provide you with a link?

5

Can you give an example?

Ah yes, more of the "Please expend the emotional labor required to mine offensive posts for my edification." Ahhhh, no.

@Cricket9 I thought that my request was reasonable and put forth in a succinct, non-confrontational manner. The OP contained a few absolutes, such as every time and everything. I have noticed that some people are very quick on the trigger to block someone who simply asks a question. Not every question offered by a male is trolling.

@SallyMc Thank you. I just wondered if there was anything in particular that seemed to be a recurrent problem. There was a rule for behavior in the old Fidonet: Try not to be annoying and also try not to be easily annoyed. I have seen some exchanges where the boiling point was ridiculously low.

@GuyKeith

I think you might be right. The reason some women are so quick to block is because misogyny, sexism and trolling is so common.

The amount of emotional work needed to reveal if someone is OK or not is considerable and often leads to the negative.

So it's quicker to block because life is short. You are paying a price for other men's douchebag behaviour.

@GuyKeith No one owes you anything, specifically not a defense to their own experiences. Also, the only "every" I see in the OP is in relation to occurrence, not men. Check your privilege, because I am not here for it.

@Cricket9 No, no one owes me anything, the least of which is common courtesy. If you come in here Hell bent to find something, chances are you will...it will be around every corner.

@GuyKeith And there YOU are. Blocking in 3, 2, 1...

4

Many of these folks are not looking for dates or even friendship; they are looking for attention and judging from the many replies on this thread, they seem to be getting it. These are not men; these are four-year old boys masquerading as men. Too old and fat to tip over the TV or set fire to the cat, they come to sites like this safely to create as much outrage and havoc as they can. I guess it's better than being ignored.

3

Totally agree. Do you want a partner or milania?

3

After reading through the comments here, I noted a few particularly foul things (and the people who said them), and immediately added those folks to the block list.

I will never understand why some people (men or women) behave with such utter disdain for the rest of humanity.

Me either. What makes them feel superior enough to act like douche bags is beyond my comprehension. Sure am grateful for people like yourself that do respect others. I deleted my first person because of his comment her and to balance that I am now going to follow you. Thanks for you!

@CreativelyMe That is very kind of you! Thank you!

3

I'm not sure whether it's because it's clear that I'm not here for dating, but I haven't come across anyone who's had the temerity to insult me based solely on my gender.
I've only had one person message me to blatantly seek a liaison. Though he didn't resort to insults when I turned him down. He was actually quite polite about it.
Sure, I've been insulted by those (male and female) who have taken umbrage to some of my positions (usually political), but no one has gone after me just because I'm a woman.
I truly hope that doesn't change. I think just about all the men I've interacted with here are pretty freakin' awesome individuals.

3

I follow your lead...putting down others ideas, regardless of how trivial says to me, that all ideas must meet some (unknown) expectation by the reader! It has been my experience that even the most illiterate person has something of value to offer!

2

let me place this here:
[facebook.com]

LOL! That's the greatest! And so true..a fact that Trump exploited to win the election, of course.

2

This might explain why they're looking on a web site....

2

How do you block them?

@PeppermintDreads Thanks you!

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