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A little deep and profound but something to think about because so many people do base their lives around their past experiences. It forms them into who and what they are today. Step outside yourself and what happens.

mistymoon77 9 May 27

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I think that’s fundamentally mistaken. Yes. Your personality is a collection of behavior sets designed to adapt to reality. But only a small proportion are actually the result of adaptation to pain. Also, the behavior sets have a modality that will generate generate other behavior sets. This will create broader individual categories will specific trends that give a person a unique character.


I don't disagree with the idea completely. It seems too broad a sweeping generalization to attribute all of "yourself" to a result of coping with trauma. Some of that experience includes positive reinforcement.

Additionally - some of our personality is a result of "nature." Meaning our genetic makeup. I know that I have a furious temper. I'm pretty sure I inherited it from my mom. I doubt that it is a result of my experiences but rather something I was born with. If you want to argue that it arose from my ancestor's reaction to trauma then, yes, I would agree but I do not believe that it was a reaction to any personal trauma that I specifically suffered.

That is, of course, only one example. And a negative one at that.


True to some extent. We're products of our upbringing and experiences as well as our temperaments - "nature vs. nurture", I'd say it's a combination of both. For me, change has only come when I've been able to take into account my experiences in combination with how I've dealt with them.


It’s a good question. I’ve not asked in awhile. This is built into the teachings of meditation based on buddhist practice . I studied this and can see I’ve let my story filter back in, as if it was real. As atheists we accept reality. Our story has nothing to do with this moment. Don’t let the shackles of the past restrain you. I’m going to revisit this aspect of letting go in today’s meditation. This is not some silly meme and it’s defiantly worth the effort. It’s not somthing to pursue, it’s simply somthing to “let go”.


Me, me, me... All I ever talk about, BUT I get this weird kind of migraine every once in a while where I get a sense of jamais-vu and a temporary amnesia. The result being that for a brief while, I forget ALL of my past worries and stresses and the baggage they bring along. It's like I'm seeing the world for the first time, with a completely clean conscience...

And it's joyous.

It's soooo good... The weight of life is lifted from my shoulders and all that's left is wonderment. I wish I could bottle it.


I think the good times have shaped me as much as the bad, and genetics are a determining factor on how l react to all of it.


I am not sure I agree with the whole pain concept. Happy moments shape us also, if you stay in the pain you sometimes become what you hate, so stepping outside of that is good. I actually met a person who was abused, married a verbally abusive man (she is a widow now) and while she has a great snarky sense of humor easlily slips into being very cruel herself. She knows she does this and yet rationalizes her behavoir instead of changing.
I myself tend to find ways to avoid the hurt or pain and think happy thoughts. If I encounter a conflick, I will self analyze, get some feedback and at least make an attempt to correct.
Not having alot of success in the current area of political opinion.
I think I'm rambling.

@AmelieMatisse I've had that same thought by observing some of the people in this apartment complex. Then there are the other folks that seek to help others, stay positive and enjoy life inspite of the hurts or discomfort. We just avoid the victim types.


I think this is a good description of the journey to self-awareness and consciousness.

@mistymooon77 Rethinking my earlier response. @AMGT is right some pain will be your life companion. Also we are who we are right now because of our past trauma, triumphs and all mundanity in between. That doesn't mean we have to keep making the same mistakes over and over again but we are where we are partly because of those mistakes. Maybe learning to live with, accept and learn from our past is really what we need to do rather than the impossible task of living outside of our pain. And how can we live not as a product of our story? We are our story. We continually write new chapters but all the chapters make up our story. I also like what @FrankB38 said. Forgiving others can be a way to not let our pain destroy or be the only thing that defines us. Forgiving others is the selfish act of saving ourselves and does not let anyone off the hook. Now if only I could follow my own advice and not be so vindictive... I really did a 180° didn't I? 🙂

@kmdskit3 If we like who we are, we have to honor the roads that got us here.


The quote is asking for an impossibility.


Honestly, and speaking only for myself, I don't even wonder about such things.
I don't see any reason to. Everything that's ever happened, has happened, and
there is nothing that will ever change any of it.
The only reasonable course of action, for me, is to keep moving forward and not
spend too much time dwelling on the sins of the past. Whether they be mine, or
other people's. Learn from those experiences what I need to know to proceed, and try
not to repeat my own mistakes.
Deal with whatever physiological and mental issues I might have, and not spend one
single second blaming other people for my own choices.
I AM a "product of my story", and I'm okay with that.


Most people, excluding those who are born with severe mental deficiencies such as sociopathic tendencies, are who they are based on the culmination of their experiences. Both good and bad.

A child who is otherwise born with no mental deficiencies but has been locked in a basement their whole life and has known nothing but horror will act no differently than a rabid dog. A child who is born with no mental deficiencies and has grown up in an ideal environment filled with love and support will be a well balanced individual.

Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

I would disagree with this, as it makes a whole lot of assumptions and extremes. There are children who grow up severely mistreated that, with some help and kindness become wonderful citizens, caring and loving towards their friends and family. There are many instances of well off, maybe even privileged children becoming monsters, serial killers and even presidents (LOL). The kids involved in the Columbine massacre were average middle class kids from decent families, yet they became vicious killers. There is no black and white when it comes to development of personality and change is possible no matter what the early circumstances.


Learn from the past, live for today.


Yes and no. We are how we respond to those pains. That can't develop without being tested. Those pains test us as much as shape us. They prepare us for the harshness of life. Without them we would likely puddle into goo when something big did happen.

That isn't to say we shouldn't at least be aware of that, because we should. We should probably not let it totally rule us. But it is important to recognize that it helped to build our strengths and positives as much as expose a few weaknesses and negatives.

AmyLF Level 7 May 27, 2018



"Pain" can be subjective. ....I suppose I felt sad PAINED when my dog then cat were hit by cars & we buried them in yard dirt. ....being a 5 year old Atheist seeking justice for those excluded from alleged heaven and real life....our empathy could define our logic and ethics applied to others. ...but my pride in family traditions of hunting fishing graduations weddings funerals all blend into my career and romantic life. ...I suppose it hurts without love from a good Atheist woman so that is why I am here building my CYBER BOWER and spreading my shiny baubles of wit and wisdom


... I'd be an amnesiac. No thanks.


I don't know - I wasnt given a story when I was growing up just weird but at least atheist abusive parents, but no narrative. I told lies all the time because I didnt know that they were lies ,When I caught myself on I stopped lying and told the truth all the time and that got me into more bother -Experimentation brought me to the point of not caring less. I would lie to save my life I would tell a truth to save my life.


Definitely live my life regardless of what family and friends think. Growing up in a dysfunctional family I learned that negative words were more powerful than a strap or a physical blow. It took me many years to stop trying to please that family - they would never accept me for me. My friends were a different color,spoke a different language and would never be good enough. I learned to create my own value system. Things were not important as people, animals and freedom to be a free thinking spirit.


I had the privilege of meeting Dr Roberto Canessa , who was one of the survivors of the Eurguay Soccer team whose plane crashed in the Andes/ They were stranded without food,water and clothing . I had asked him about the decision to eat the dead, and he said it was not a thought , rather an event that needed to be addressed. He said that it is AMAZING HOW A CERTAIN EVENT WILL DETERMINE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

EMC2 Level 8 May 27, 2018

I do believe some things have changed me however i have been able to reflect on those flaws and work towards reversing a negative pattern caused by some pains.


Its called background its deep into the space time dimension of all before and we follow after into it lots of debris of little original left of great nature its almost all human or as science recognize as Anthropocene..progress is not history that is why we are not learning and getting better money is the drug of choice and the enemy of nature..


I considered it and they are wrong. My personality is much more formed around positive experiences, and I have experienced a good deal of trauma. I think this is true for even severely avoidant people with PTSD.


NOBODY puts Baby in the corner!


I agree fully, What is life but time, time is identified by a collections of moments. It is the collection that identifies who were are, how we approach and what we do. After life, there is no time relative to our past life. We are all just a collection of atoms and groupings of atoms. The atoms have no idea of time.

EMC2 Level 8 May 27, 2018

I'm not sure how I would be. Maybe I'd be like some of my other friends...the ones who go out to clubs on the weekends, and dress up cute with out worrying about my environment. I worry about who's around me, can I fight in what I an wearing, am I armed. Would I not fear guys, or cops? Would I view my body differently or have more confidence.
I just picked up a new type of antidepressant today. I don't like taking drugs to fix me but at this point I'm desperate...and insurance only covers four visits to a therapist, and the four I went to was spent on a gaslighting jerk. I kind of wonder about this, what it's like being happy, and if that would be so alien for me that it's scary. Maybe I cling to the pain because it's always been there.

Tess Level 3 May 27, 2018

I think I know who I would be if the pain stopped. I've been him before.

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