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Did you experience Religious Trauma Syndrome in leaving religion?

Dr. Marlene Winell has published about difficult experiences in leaving religion, and she refers to it collectively as Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS). Quoting from [journeyfree.org]:

Symptoms of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

• Cognitive: Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability & self-worth, black & white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making

Emotional: Depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning

• Social: Loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks

• Cultural: Unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)

How emotionally difficult/traumatic was your experience in leaving religion, dealing with it, and moving on?

(Select two options: one on difficulty, other on RTS.)

  • 1 vote
  • 6 votes
  • 30 votes
  • 13 votes
  • 4 votes
  • 13 votes
  • 25 votes
Rhetoric 7 Jan 1
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28 comments

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13

I think my leaving religion was so gradual that it just got lumped in with the other traumas/changes going on in my life at the time. We moved to Omaha, I realized I needed to get some sort of training to be able to get a job and get a divorce, menopause, divorce, economy tanking and job loss, unemployment, and heartbreak. I discovered that most church congregations do not appreciate mature single females in their midst, even liberal churches were not very welcoming. It was a rough few years. I lost some friends, but I found myself. I think it was a good trade.

It sure was girl...good for you

that sounds like a massive make over

5

Leaving religion behind made my life more pleasant then and thereafter.

It certainly made me more pleasant lol (was very judgmental). Not sure about my life though.

hear! hear!????

5

I'm so glad my parents weren't fanatical about religion and church-going. Made it fairly easy to escape, although my mother wasn't happy about it.

4

I questioned my faith while I was Christian but I never wanted to break my mother's heart. Once I left my mother's home I kept going back and forth between Agnostism and going to church again to please my mom. It took a while but after a college World Religion course and extensive research I realized that I totally didn't believe in god anymore.

I've actually read the Bible twice because I really wanted to understand what was in it. The Bible introduced horrors such as: abuse, rape, murder, sabotage, manipulation, ostricism, witchcraft, jealousy, hatred, racism and slavery to name a few things off of the top of my head. I kept asking myself, "Is this hypocrisy really worth fighting for?" It wasn't. "Is THIS why the world can't live in peace, equality and in harmony?" Hypothetically speaking, a person trying hard all of their lives can get tested by rape and that person could choose to act out of frustration and murder the rapest and spend eternity in hell. Another example could be, Adolf Hitler could ask for forgiveness on his death bed and be forgiven then go to heaven. That doesn't sound logical to me.

Once this was confirmed I told my mom and now she thinks I'm going to hell. LoL!! It's all made up BS invented, by man, to control, manipulate and oppress gullible, weak and uneducated people. At least my insomnia, anxiety, fear and self hatred is completely gone! I actually sleep through the night without nightmares and without night tremers anymore. I'm free, I'm stronger and I'm loving me probably for the first time in my life! 🙂

Very relatable.

4

Well.... I agree.... with leaving I felt some discomfort by continuing to have some flashbacks of the times I was spiritual. I'm I totally cured? ..... I don't know. I have told myself to reject all religion... that helps me.

4

Never went to temple after 16 except naming my daughter, funerals and unveilings(a ceremony that reveals the plaque one year after death). No trauma.

3

It wasn’t hard to let go, but the people calling themselves christians in a democratic society, most turned out to be holding onto the people using them, protecting a greedy, dishonest and manipulative church parish, like staying in an abusive relationship. And don’t even get me started on the ones using the church to abuse/punish non- believers.

3

I think my parent's, being religious, didn't know how to help me in a lot of challenges I had growing up. They tried their best an weren't abusive but inadvertently led me to believe there was something wrong with me. They couldn't understand why I struggled with certain things so they grabbed at anything that seemed to explain it. My biggest issues were finding self worth and purpose but they didn't know how to show me logically only theologically. A subdued version of rts but I was comfortably atheist for a long time, so it could just be I was a weird kid.

3

I did not know much about secularism. Or about more religions. I lost a lot of friends though.

That sucks.

3

No problem for me. I quit going to church in my mid-20s, and then by my late 30s began to gradually realize that I'm atheist, which hardened with eye-opening enlightenment brought to me via the internet in my 40s - the likes of videos of Harris, Hitchens, Dawkins, and others; along with the many great atheist youtube channels like potholer54, thunderf00t, darkmatter2525, and many others. It was and is extremely enlightening and freeing and atheism is the REAL "good news" in this world, as religion creates nothing but confusing nonsense and dissonance; whereas realizing religion is man-made bunk creates harmony as it jives so perfectly with the overwhelming evidence of the mythical nature of religions.

2

Not in the least bit...Giving up on organized religions (and the gods they pray to) was one of the easiest decisions I've ever made...

2

Was too Busy Sinning without Remorse to notice any trauma... just a simple joyish liberty.

2

I don’t think I was ever religious. I was always questioning what was going on. Never seemed to get answers that made sense . I never felt any “spiritual connection “, so it was very easy .

2

I only relate to some of those symptoms, in that my extrication from my born-again identity was gradual. These questions frame it as a sudden experience resulting in some kind of shell shock.

2

The folks involved did such a beautiful job of paving an exceptionally smooth road leading directly out of Dodge that there wasn't a single bump or slight turn. Never looked back and regret nothing. The funny thing about all that was that I don't think they had the slightest inkling that was what was happening. I'd ask a question and they'd lay some more pavement.

"God works in mysterious ways" then what the fuck would I want to worship him for? lol

2

I was never a part of any organized religion, but when I finally came to terms with my lack of belief it was pretty tough.

2

I have a history of anxiety and depression, and one of my coping mechanisms was "God has a plan." Losing that was hard at first. What I've developed since is actually more effective though; I mean if a God did exist and his plan looked like this world, you have to wonder what curveball he'll throw next. Also anger at others for deceiving me, and at myself for falling for it (though now I see most truly believed and therefore don't deserve much blame, and given the indoctrination I went through it's not fair to blame myself). Also it strained my relationship with my dad (an amateur Catholic apologist), though honestly I don't think most people who know me realize I'm atheist.

As to the difficulty, I had a little trouble getting my parents to let me stop attending mass since I lived with them and didn't own a car (okay a lot of difficulty, like over a year), and it only really worked once I got a job that I could "accidentally" get scheduled during every mass for.

All in all coming out as atheist was more trouble than coming out as trans, though it hasn't ended as many friendships as showing that I can understand conservatives/Trump supporters. In fact, playing devil's advocate (talking to a person who at the time was a friend) is actually what made me realize how wrong leftists could be.

2

I began with Buddhist parents, converted to Christianity for my ex and my newborn... got out because of divorce. It was a free ing experience in my life. "cause I'm free... do whatever I want... any o' time..." just like the song.

2

I didnt have that kind of a struggle. There were times I wished I could have believed like others did but not the same

1

No, not really. After I started really thinking rational about all these places of eternal punishment, I just started to laugh, due to how ridiculous it was and how it didn’t sound like anything more than a scare tactic from manipulative people trying to get their way.

1

To be completely honest the only actual 'trauma' I had upon 'leaving' religion behind me was when the Catholic Priest at the Sunday School my mother FORCED me to attend ( after being expelled, cursed and described as being a Heretic, Heathen, Pagan, Devil's Pawn, Satan's Child, etc, etc, for simply asking questions that they either refused or could not answer) was the trauma of receiving 12 strokes of the cane across my buttocks and hands. Believe me, it hurt like bloody hell but it was well worth it.

1

I question this whole premise! Equating getting clear in your head to a terrible trauma with lingering side effects....Really?

It's the shock of leaving not only your comfort zone, but in many cases one of the foundation stones of your personal identity. In addition, it often cripples your relationships with those who are deeply religious and take your rejection of religion as a rejection of them (which is one of the reasons we need this site). In my case, it also removed coping mechanisms primarily related to trusting that a higher power would protect me from anything too terrible. I'm sure there are other ways for it to be traumatic that I haven't included here.

0

There is safety on numbers...separated from the herd, left me exposed and vulnerable! It takes courage to take a stand, alone! It took a long while before I felt grounded.

0

Strangely, even though I was never very religious, last time I put an anti-religious comment on here I couldn't sleep well...am I crazy or what ??

0

Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) yet another acronymn to jam into our subconcious with all the other randomly relevant platitudes, cliches and untruths. Incidentally, almost all of the above 'symptoms' identified by Dr. Marlene Winell could be attributed to many other manifested ailments, so who has the knowledge or authority to tell you specifically that this was caused by leaving religion. It's her turn 'on the couch' for an in-depth solopsism session.

This is probably why it's not widely recognized in the psychological community. It could in many cases be hard to tease apart when it was religion itself vs. the people in it. From my personal exposure, I'd say it is likely a real issue for some. As to how wide-spread it is, this poll could be a decent indication that it is only a small portion of ex-believers.

As for her being "solopsistic"... In her interviews she has made it clear that this came from examining the stories of her clients, and not primarily a mere projection of past experiences.

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