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Religion is like a penis.

; ) ; ) ; ) This cracked me up.

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76 comments

27

My Grandpa Bill used to tell me, "Your opinion is like your tallywacker: It's okay to have one, but unless somebody asks for it, keep it to yourself."

Alas, most people would never ask for someone else's opinion for fear of hearing a challenge to what they think is true. Then we would never have enlightenment.

@TimothyIII I always took Grandpa to mean that I shouldn't go throwing my opinion around on subjects that didn't involve me...

The way to accepted it, then was good advice!

16

Religion IS like a penis. It can really fuck you (up).

Maxwell55 Level 5 Feb 9, 2018

Well said and accurate!

I love it ....

14

#5, don't tell people it's bigger than it really is.

slayer1am Level 5 Feb 7, 2018
11

I need to remember not to be drinking anything when I read your posts. I wound up spitting coffee over my tablet. It's all good.

LEPeff Level 7 Feb 7, 2018

lol

7

Religion is like a vagina.
It's ok to have one and to be proud of it.
But don't walk around showing it off and acting if yours is the only one that matters.

phil21 Level 7 Feb 7, 2018

Wait a minute! Men have been showing/bragging/putting up statues and monuments of penises for eons and yet the vagina has been kept covered, secret and denigrated for way too long. Perhaps that's where the problem lies and it's just another example of religion and male domination gone wrong. Vagina's should be respected and honored more. They have been suppressed so much that even women don't understand much about them. It's unbelievable, the # of men and women that don't understand such things as the importance of the clitoris (or if it even exists) and the commercials and misinformation about hygiene and how it should smell (natural)! Now, back to the cute jokes. smile001.gif

there are statues and monuments to celebrate women in the same manners all over the world too, esp in the kama sutra places

7

You're completely right !!! smile001.gif

7

Oh, balls.

I love Whitney Cummings smile001.gif

People are always talking about how horrid men's private parts are, but come on ladies, do you really think we are that pretty down below?

@DarwinistOne, well, ours are named after flowers after all, even if they're snapdragons.

6

Evening services will begin on Saturday and Sunday at 7pm and 9pm. Maidens only. smile007.gif

Thou shall not rod thy staff

I think the orange one should be allowed to attend. After all, he is a cocksucker.

Not this one.

5

Religion is connected to 90percent of the world"s wars. Don't those bullets and missiles look like penises?

Only 90%? I'd suspect it's higher than that!

Actually the cult Government and Centro Bankers tool Religion. In order to fear control and enslaved most of us.

5

For some people religion is a penis!

[cracked.com]

They're all around us -- phallic architecture, that is. Just Google phallic architecture.

The book The Masculine Journey was a joint project of Robert Hicks, Promise Keepers and NavPress. If you're not familiar with the Promise Keepers, it's a patriarchal, evangelical men's ministry. They were the group that had the Christian Million Man March in 1997 with over 3 million descending on the Mall, at the Washington Phallic. smile009.gif They are still around. [promisekeepers.org]

Robert Hicks is a retired Air Force Chaplin, and a professor of history and ethics at Bellhaven University in Orlando, FL, or was. Here's what he says in the book:

"To be male is to be a phallic kind of guy, and as men we should never apologize for it, or allow it to be denigrated by women (or crass men either)" (p. 24).

On page 181 he writes: "I believe Jesus was phallic with all the inherent phallic passions we experience as men"

On page 51 he writes: "Possessing a penis places unique requirements upon men before God as how they are to worship him. We are called to worship God as phallic kinds of guys, not as some sort of androgynous, neutered nonmales, or the feminized males so popular in many feminist-enlightened churches. We are told by God to worship Him in accordance with what we are, phallic men"

50,000 copies were given to all the attendees at the 1993 Promise Keepers Rally. The book is still in publication.

@VictoriaNotes So my neighbor a long time ago had an abusive husband, who she convinced to go to promisekeepers so they could help him get right with God. Guess that's why he ended up losing his kids and getting divorced.

@VictoriaNotes If they were dedicated to being christlike by having no offspring, I would fully support them.

4

A lot of people being jerked around

michaelj Level 6 Feb 7, 2018
4

Nailed it. Lol.

noworry28 Level 7 Feb 7, 2018
3

Religion is like a penis? I beg to differ. I don't like religion.

3

Dare I say it,...is it because it fucked the world?

RonB Level 4 Apr 1, 2018
3

Over obedience so you don't go to hell. Is really swallowing the whole Satan's Dong.

Why not, just save Satan? So we can move on changing this prison planet.

3

A *circumsized one.

3

Perfect!

BeeHappy Level 8 Feb 7, 2018
3

HA Ha

Stevil Level 8 Feb 7, 2018
3

Can I play with someone's else's religion? I'm curious.

phil21 Level 7 Feb 7, 2018
3

Is it ok to let someone of the same religion to see? Or is that homochristianity?

phil21 Level 7 Feb 7, 2018
3

Proud of it? No, no, no… I think we're all better off, on both counts, if people are ashamed of it. smile007.gif

resserts Level 8 Feb 7, 2018
3

Oh no..... yikes! The first part might be a hit in a bar... maybe... the last part is spooky..lol

3

You're preaching to the choir as it were smile009.gif

3

aptly put.

btroje Level 8 Feb 7, 2018
3

I love this one!

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