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Religion is like a penis.

; ) ; ) ; ) This cracked me up.

By silvereyes8
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149 comments

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2

Love it!

zesty Level 7 Sep 18, 2018
39

My Grandpa Bill used to tell me, "Your opinion is like your tallywacker: It's okay to have one, but unless somebody asks for it, keep it to yourself."

Alas, most people would never ask for someone else's opinion for fear of hearing a challenge to what they think is true. Then we would never have enlightenment.

@TimothyIII I always took Grandpa to mean that I shouldn't go throwing my opinion around on subjects that didn't involve me...

The way to accepted it, then was good advice!

28

Religion IS like a penis. It can really fuck you (up).

Maxwell55 Level 5 Feb 9, 2018

Well said and accurate!

I love it ....

Eventually all Penises are buried 6' under in a grave yard or cremated and turned to dust.

So what's Religion waiting for...!

Hi there !
Friend you're definately right ! ))

18

#5, don't tell people it's bigger than it really is.

slayer1am Level 5 Feb 7, 2018
15

I dunno about this. A penis is actually useful.

d_day Level 7 May 21, 2018

And dual-purpose

Or a weapon in the wrong hands

14

Religion is like a penis? I beg to differ. I don't like religion.

Why dislike religion? It may really mean nothing but, like penis, can make you feel good! It's all in how you perceive and use it.

13

I need to remember not to be drinking anything when I read your posts. I wound up spitting coffee over my tablet. It's all good.

LEPeff Level 8 Feb 7, 2018

lol

13

Religion is like a vagina.
It's ok to have one and to be proud of it.
But don't walk around showing it off and acting if yours is the only one that matters.

phil21 Level 7 Feb 7, 2018

Wait a minute! Men have been showing/bragging/putting up statues and monuments of penises for eons and yet the vagina has been kept covered, secret and denigrated for way too long. Perhaps that's where the problem lies and it's just another example of religion and male domination gone wrong. Vagina's should be respected and honored more. They have been suppressed so much that even women don't understand much about them. It's unbelievable, the # of men and women that don't understand such things as the importance of the clitoris (or if it even exists) and the commercials and misinformation about hygiene and how it should smell (natural)! Now, back to the cute jokes. smile001.gif

there are statues and monuments to celebrate women in the same manners all over the world too, esp in the kama sutra places

@jorj they really had their heads on straight. Sex should be highly regarded and valued by all people.

@frosty2k There's something fishy about this reply...

12

I think religion is more like a vagina:

  • You enter the church and get comfortable.
  • You try to last the full 45 mins til mass is over.
  • You fail and fall asleep.
  • You give the pastor money before you leave.

I'm not sure if that makes religion more like a vagina or a Taiwanese hooker but you get the idea.

@Brascan The fact is the comparison would work with a hooker of any nationality but I'm partial to Asians so...

must be a really boring hooker if you fall asleep, why would you pay her?

11

My penis is offended by being compared to religion.

nicknotes Level 8 Dec 3, 2018
10

Even when I wanted to give it a try it left a bad taste in my mouth.

9

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.

And then he sets everyone else on fire."

9

Other ways it’s like a penis:

Invite one into your life and you’ll get screwed.

Getting rid of it after inviting it in may cause excessive drama.

A lot of people who have one tend to be overly eager to share it.

They all have nuts hangin around.

Well said!

9

if I read it too hard I will go blind?

Clever

funny!

8

Well.....where's the fun in that?

My penis is, quite frankly, insulted by the comparison to religion. Because, it's REAL.

Deveno Level 7 Nov 14, 2018
8

And...keep yours out of my vagina, too! (I think about this a lot while working at Planned Parenthood. How many of these hypocrites would come running into the procedure room, yelling "ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS" and smugly rip the speculum out of a patient. You KNOW they would, if they could.)

LucyLoohoo Level 8 July 25, 2018
8

Religion is connected to 90percent of the world"s wars. Don't those bullets and missiles look like penises?

Only 90%? I'd suspect it's higher than that!

Actually the cult Government and Centro Bankers tool Religion. In order to fear control and enslaved most of us.

Yes, as George Carlin pointed out at least once on stage. I still miss him.

7

Religion is also a lot like alcohol.
It's fine if it's just something you do on the weekends, but starts to become a problem if it's something you do everyday. Especially in front of your kids

7

You're completely right !!! smile001.gif

7

Oh, balls.

I love Whitney Cummings smile001.gif

People are always talking about how horrid men's private parts are, but come on ladies, do you really think we are that pretty down below?

@DarwinistOne, well, ours are named after flowers after all, even if they're snapdragons.

Video unavailable
"Whitney Cumm..." is no longer available due to a copyright claim by a third party. -- sorry I missed this, but I'll look for it on youtube.

6

Every time I catch them in there greed I call the religious people men penis religion. I was scared to say it in my younger years. But I am tired, please stop the men penis religion. Why do there wives don't work and all of them get cushy government jobs to support there good wives, sugar babies, tons of children. Infact the workers are paying for it. They are always promoted to corporate. Big corporation refuses to pay the worker but have lot of money for corporate travel,. Same with catholic charities.

Arshi Level 5 Aug 2, 2018
5

Let's see...because it just hangs around but is incapable of doing anything worthwhile?

FreeDave Level 6 Nov 7, 2018
5

Funny shit. So forking true.I have one and nobody is interested.lol.

5

The big pecker with the big wallet right?

Gumper Level 3 Sep 13, 2018
5

That is perfect !!! Lol

5

This is a good analogy, and yet, most religious people love to "flaunt" their faith which is as unwelcomed and inapprorpriate as a dick pick or even worse, pull it out physically...

Aggelos12 Level 4 July 24, 2018
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