As an atheist, I have not been in a church for decades. But this week a friend invited me to the Cascade Unitarian Church.
It was wonderful! I knew nearly everyone and felt loved and welcomed.
The minister's message was about improving the Golden Rule. Treat people as they want to be treated, not how you want to be treated. Over 22 religions have some form of the Golden Rule.
This message resonated with me. I felt centered and grounded. No mention of Jesus.
Members were invited to light a candle and share joys or sorrows. One man talked eloquently about how he refused to accept help and it resulted in loneliness. He spoke of his "trembling and vulnerable heart" and the weight of "carrying the flaming saber of justice."
"Your words hit me in the center of my chest," I told him afterward. I got lots of hugs and enjoyed connecting with old friends. Found two new female hiking partners!
Next week they will celebrate Paganism. I plan to go. This is what church should be: acceptance and connections between people.
When I was going through a rough patch in a relationship I felt I needed some kind of guidance or uplift. I went to the local Unitarian Universalist church a couple of Sundays. It didn’t help. Still felt shitty, didn’t get any insight and it’s still involves a magical entity in the Universe somewhere. Went to see a shrink, it was much more productive! ?
 Barnie2years
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 9, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    Barnie2years
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 9, 2018                                            
                                        That is a good point, some UU congregations are more theistic-leaning than others. In theory, they all accept unbelievers with open arms, but how that works out in practice is somewhat local. I attended a UU service in NC for example and the order of service and liturgical style there in the middle of the Bible belt would be weirdly familiar to any southern Baptist. And I do mean weird. It is as if the service were designed by a Baptist on cocaine.
Religion is simply nothing more than a tool for which you can either build or destroy with it.
That’s why I don’t judge religious people until they give me a reason to.  Yet sadly the concept of unity and fellowship has been lost on most of society let alone the church but it’s also said that religion is merely a reflection of society so it’s next phase should be very interesting. 
 48thRonin
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 9, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    48thRonin
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 9, 2018                                            
                                        I have been to Unitarian churches before and found them as you describe. If they would take "church" out of their title and hold get-togethers on other days of the week, I might still attend occasionally.
 wordywalt
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Dec 9, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    wordywalt
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Dec 9, 2018                                            
                                        The do not refer to themselves as a church, but as a congregation or society. In most areas the name of the local congregation reflects some form of this, but some people tend to refer to it as "the UU church" because they aren't aware that it's a post-Christian phenomenon or because prospective attendees aren't looking for a "society" to attend and find the terminology confusing.
Fellowship not church, I never use the word in describing my group.
LiterateHiker, I fully agree this is how a church should be, but my local UU church is now anything but what you describe. Ironically, there is a small, very liberal UCC church right down the street from me, but they use the Bible and are Christian. I would probably fit in great there socially and share all their politics. And I've heard they have all the qualities of the UU church you visited. But I'm not going to lie or pretend to believe or be a Christian just to attend and enjoy their community.
 TomMcGiverin
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Jan 12, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    TomMcGiverin
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Jan 12, 2019                                            
                                        Interesting (to me) information about Unitarianism: Four presidents of the United States were Unitarians. One of our greatest founding fathers, John Adams, was one of them. He was a strong advocate of the separation of church and state. In 1797, he signed the "Treaty of Tripoli", in which he wrote, "“As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims]..." Some of our modern politicians would be well served by re-reading that passage.
 sfvpool
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Jan 5, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    sfvpool
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Jan 5, 2019                                            
                                        That’s what we need more of. If we had churches giving out messages without mention of religions I think we can convert some to our way of thinking.
 Charliesey
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Dec 12, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    Charliesey
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Dec 12, 2018                                            
                                        Cool. We've talked about trying to start a little UU church here. We have a chance to talk about it with someone from the UU organization sometime in the near future. It would be amazing if we could make it work. Reading this made me more excited to see those conversations get started.
 lovemuffin
                                                
                                                Level 4
                                                Dec 12, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    lovemuffin
                                                
                                                Level 4
                                                Dec 12, 2018                                            
                                        Carrying the flaming saber of justice sounds a tad overwrought and probably reflects that he's a social justice warrior, which is fine ... but the intensity can be a little off-putting to me. The local UUs here have been known to chain themselves to the entrance gate of the local fracking facility, and social status is tied partly to how many time's you've been arrested. Not my cup o'tea but I admire their devotion to their ideals.
I haven't felt the acceptance and connection you describe with the UUs here but it's probably more me than them I suppose.
 mordant
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 9, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    mordant
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 9, 2018                                            
                                        I, too, admire their devotion, but the flaming saber of justice part seems a little over dramatic to me.
@PalacinkyPDX As I said, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm also not speaking to social justice in the abstract, but to being a SJW ("social justice warrior" ) which is that intense, crusading sort of ethos that often (though not always) comes with second-class citizenship for those who are not into same level or intensity of involvement. I have said before that the UUs have a tendency to eradicate theological dogma as a source of exclusion and virtue signaling, only to replace it with political activism.
If making the world a better place gives you the label "SJW", then bring it on!
Glad you got something out of it and got to see old friends. As for me, the farther away from a church I am the better off I am.
Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by
The old song is true. I no longer go to church because I am farther along than before. I no longer have a candle or a little light that is mine.
 DenoPenno
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Apr 3, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    DenoPenno
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Apr 3, 2020                                            
                                        I visit graveyards. Have seen enough churches in the old country.
 Spinliesel
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 27, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    Spinliesel
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 27, 2019                                            
                                        I was surprised to learn that a Unitarian church in my area (northern Virginia) actually mentions Jeebus and sings hymns. But apparently the local UU churches have a wide latitude. Some congregations actually call their buildings meeting houses, not churches.
 tubabob
                                                
                                                Level 4
                                                Jan 1, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    tubabob
                                                
                                                Level 4
                                                Jan 1, 2019                                            
                                        Brilliantly! Sounds like the ecumenical services that joined the Catholic and (Protestant ) Church of Ireland communities in my home in Ireland. It's fantastic when people put aside their differences and acknowledge that we are all human, fragile and vulnerable. This to me is community, regardless of religion.
My parent recently went to a Quakrr wedding and reported a similar experience to yours, very all encompassing.
Now, if only we could put the invisible friends aside.....
 Tilia
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Dec 31, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    Tilia
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Dec 31, 2018                                            
                                        That sounds great! I'm currently trying to start a Unitarian church in my area because there isn't one. I did briefly attend one in college, and my impression was "this is where the smart people go" because there was a lot of interest in different cultures and religions, and tolerance for other views, including atheism.
 Orbit
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Dec 11, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    Orbit
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Dec 11, 2018                                            
                                        Some of my clients attend Unitarian churches all around the country. Seems that some are a bit theistic minded and some are totally secular, humanistic even. Some love it, some left due to a bit too much spiritual talk. I like the idea of gathering for life-affirming messages and discussion.
I think each congregation defined how much religion goes into their services. Supply and demand, I guess. Glad you found a great fit for you in your area.
I agree that the golden rule should be to treat others how THEY would like to be treated, not necessarily how you would like to be treated.  Sometimes they are one and the same - sometimes not.    
 Julie808
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 10, 2018
                                            
                                                
                                                    Julie808
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Dec 10, 2018