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What to say when hijacked by two born agains in public

I went to lunch with a friend, she was/is my ex husbands widow, we are connected by 4 kids, my 3 and her one child. And respect each other.

Well she brought a born again opinionated passive aggressive christian with her, i have met her once before and knew we had nothing in common.

So there we are enjoying our meal just chatting and big mouth asked, " so do you believe in jesus?" No.

"Do you believe Jesus is the son of god?" No

"Do you believe in god (as her voice degenerates in a higher pitch and volume). No.

Then i said, "this is one conversation id hope we would never have and yet here we are." I don't discuss religion ever. I don't appreciate being questioned either."

I thought we were done. Then she says, "do you believe in hope?" I WANTED TO SAY YES, I HOPE YOU STFU.

A few seconds later big mouth just had to have the last word, "oh thats okay. We love you anyway" and then freewill and other condesending platitudes. There is no way i want a friendship with her, her deep fake southern princess holier than thou act...

Does anyone have a mental script on how to head off, divert, cut them off without knocking their lights out. I thought about having business cards printed with the 1st Amendment and hand it out.

Ive been upset and angry most of the day. Ive put this in Health and Happiness because im not happy about today and still feel my pulse in my throat from choking back replies.

Katsarecool 7 May 2
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47 comments

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14

Ask her about her intimate sex life . If she can ask you personal questions about you , you can ask her personal questions about her . Usually works for me .

@NoPlanetB okay y'all good idea. I can picture her face lol

Love it!!

"So do you call out the name of the Lord when you have orgasms?"

@mischl I guess that's not taking the lord's name in vain because apparently he created orgasms. 😂

As a male, I could start with, "I'm normally straight but I'm so gay for Jesus! Like, if he were here, I would..<fill in the blanks>. Can't wait to get to heaven and sleep with him forever!" 😂😂

12

I often tell them quite sincerely,

"You are of the belief that you have the key to the true nature of the universe and all of existence based on what you consider revealed knowledge by a divine being. Instead of being happy with that, you seem more worried that someone else doesn't buy into your particular mythology. Even if you think you're making your appeal out of concern for my well-being, it won't work. I'm familiar with your belief system and reject it as being logically inconsistent and unworthy of serious consideration. And I can't pretend to believe what I don't just to be safe. Your God would know."

10

Look bored and mildly disgusted, then say "I NEVER discuss religion or politics. I was raised to believe that to do so is LOW class." Then STARE at them like they are just about to confirm your suspicions about them. If they try again, stare again then ignore. You don't have to answer unless you want to get pulled in to the stupidity.

First prize for best answer.

@UpsideDownAgain agree completely. It's called The Boston Stare/Take down, all in the eyes. 😊

@Katsarecool There have been some splendid answers here!

@Hathacat I totally agree and I am grateful

9

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” Mark Twain.

8

Thank you all. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I'm feeling better and emboldened..,🤣

7

Yes, I have a response. Works a fair share of the time.

"Do you believe in (fillintheblank)?"

"No, I don't. Do you believe in Shiva?"

That is usually followed by a brief silence punctuated with mumbles. If they know anything at all, they will then say they don't.

I then say, "There ya go."

I believe in fondue. In the heart of every person is melted cheese.

@WonderWartHog99 As a Wisconsinite, I resemble this comment...

@boatdude87

I can see something on the horizon with this:

7

"I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds," I say. "I don't pester Christians about their religion. Stop bothering me."

6

Ooo fake ass southern princess... IF there is a next time & she brings up religion, just say. "Oh...I was brought up that polite company doesn't discuss 3 topics...religion, politics, & sex. Let's not open that can of worms, shall we. I would really hate to start asking you about your strange bedfellows", chuckle and abruptly change the subject. If she tries to bring it up again, look her dead in the eye & say, "bless your heart, don't you know we've already had this conversation. It was uncomfortable & uncalled for the first time. This time it's down right unwarranted & rude." (Bless your heart = southern way to call someone stupid)

If she doesn't get the hint, be polite, say your good-byes & call it a day. You may also want to let your ex's widow know this person is an unwelcome 3rd wheel.

Ah do you must know some fake assed opinionated SOUTHERN Bell. Eh? She puts on the thickest drawl while she stabs you in the back.

A slightly more correct translation of "Bless your heart" is "Fuck you."

@mcgeo52 context is everything with "bless your heart". My favorite southern "fuck you" is to smile, pat the back of their hand & say, "that's nice", that & "lord gawd honey. Did your momma have any children that lived?" = brain dead fuck.

6

i think "go away" is a good first parry. if that doesn't work, "go the fuck away" is a bit stronger.

g

6

I usually tell them believing in the afterlife is just a coward's way out of having to face the reality of death. Then I keep talking about death and the finality of it and how we will all be forgotten when those who know us die too. They tend to want to change the subject when you remind them death is real.

6

If god exists, I'd rather go to hell than be with you for eternity.

Lol good one

6

You're nicer than I am. I don't try to pretend that I have anything for them
but contempt.

However, in answer to your question, you can try a few things.
One is to show them you know their bible better than they do.
Ask them if they mix their fabrics? Ask them if they work on Sundays?
Ask them if they're aware they aren't allowed to get divorced or tattooed?
Ask them if they know that god gave directions on how to perform abortions?
Ask them how it's okay to cherry-pick what they'll follow in the bible, and what
they'll ignore?
Ask them how it's remotely okay that they disrespect ANY of their god's creations?
You know like women, homosexuals, children, the Earth?

Demonstrate that you know the history of the bible and christianity better than they do. They really HATE that.

Oh good one. In fact, most atheists know the Bible better than christians!! Thank you.

6

I say, "it is your religion, it is your god. It exists entirely inside your brain, your mind and in your imagination and nowhere in the real world. It has nothing to do with me, it does not concern me and I have no interest in hearing anything you have to say about your delusions and fantasies".

5

In situations like this which do not happen so often in the UK. I generally say something like "Please don't go there. I understand and respect you view. I would appreciate it if you would do likewise and drop the subject, so we can still converse as friends"

5

Start talking to them in that fake ass tongues that they claim was sanctioned by the Holy Spirit. Have a good conversation and try to keep from busting out in laughter.

5

Ah yes, the ultimate bane of all Human existence, the 'Born Again Christian' spoon-fed on falsehoods, thrive upon self-delusion, spreading their virus-like disease where ever they go and completely mindless to the harm they are doing to everyone around them.
Sadly, I have one of those for a neighbor and am often accosted with his 'preachings' and ministrations.
There isn't a whole lot you can do with them unfortunately except to remind them that a 'Christian Lobotomy,' just like a surgical one, IS irreversible.

5

Do you believe in ?
Why not?
There are books about
.
People have seen .
There are organizations devoted to
.

Insert "ghosts," "sasquatch," "the Loch Ness monster," or any other mythical creature you can think of. After they've responded to all those lines, simply say, "Now you get it."

JimG Level 8 May 2, 2019
5

I avoid these discussions at all cost. If they don't let it go. I say the truth. I don't believe in zombies. That always shuts them up. Ask if they believe in zombies first . They shut up.

4

I'd suggest learning some bible quotes. [evilbible.com]
Quotes that remind them how nasty their god is. And when they say 'oh that's the old testament' Say....."oh did jesus die for gods sins as well??"

4

If I'm in a good mood and feeling kindly toward the individual, I say something like, "I don't believe in a cranky old man with a beard as the supreme being, anything beyond that is not within my ability to comprehend." Otherwise, I just say GFY.

How quaint. A book written by plagiarizing barbarians who didn't know where the sun went once it got dark? Ohh...I like anything with talking animals that bases scriptures on dreams and nonsense like that. It's a book to scare children about a pyschopathic
murderous God. Lovely. Do tell your invisible imaginary friend to pop over and say "hello."

Either that or "If your God is real, what does He need you for?"

4

Wow, so many great suggestions, and I understand you were a bit "trapped" as you met with a friend for lunch. If you did not learn an outstanding reason for bringing the bornagain along, I would certainly request she doesn't repeat that stunt.

3

My go to is from Douglas Adams.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

3

Whoa freaky could lie say Jewish like Jesus Christ watch her turn purple lol or even worse say hail Satan watch her run for her life or best say none of your business shut up

Or could say you are cute want to date see them really run for cover lol

3

Go Stoic, and worry only about what you can control. Though I'd make it clear to your friend not to bring her along again.

3

Fuck off??

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