God hates porn?
190
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Why don't Baptists make love standing up?
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They don't want God to think they're dancing.
ImmortalVegan
Level 4
Mar 24, 2018
42
pan_heathen97
Level 7
May 3, 2018
18
@VictoriaNotes Yeah, I've always thought that was creepy. Like, Christians don't believe in threesomes unless it's with Jesus.
I also have had friends who prayed for god to be with them when they were having sex so that they would keep it pure and not have impure thoughts during it.
This hypothetical God hypothetically made sex AND sex drive. "He" programmed most men to be easily stimulated by visual imagery. I wonder why "he" set men up to sin like that. Hmm...
MikeInBatonRouge
Level 8
Mar 24, 2018
10
God damn it I'm so horny all the time. Sorry God, didn't mean to blaspheme over how you made me.
@JustChris I think God needs to check out the variety of porn available online. Every weirdo has a choice nowadays.
Yes, Mike, but it's a two-way street. Ever see a female macaque in heat. She parades herself with raised rump in front of the nearing group of males and they act like college kids at a football game when their team scores a touchdown. Human ladies are menstrual, but the rest of the mammal world is estival. That's even worse.
I work in Child Protection. I have met many parents who rape their children. Amazing how many pedophiles are pillars of their fundamentalist churches.
SKH78
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
11
I mean if I created procreation of the penis and the vagina, I might be offended when people stick it everywhere else, but it'd be my own damn fault for giving them free will, sexuality, creativity and orgasms.
cvccosplay
Level 6
Apr 25, 2018
9
It'd be your fault for making them multi input compatible. You need to go back to the drawing board. Don't blame us. Ya shoulda thought of that the first time around Ms. Supposedly Omniscient Deity! Any merely mortal engineer these days could have solved that one for chrissakes!
if god created everything, then he created porn too, like he must have seen every porn movie ever made ???? hes so omnipotent ?
magicwatch
Level 7
Apr 24, 2018
8
"God" loves porn. His fragile ego needs the constant "oh god..oh god...oh god"
RobertSmith
Level 5
Mar 24, 2018
8
That must be what makes those religious nit wits so twitchy. LOL
silverotter11
Level 9
Mar 24, 2018
9
Those religious nitwits are so twitchy because of the severe suppression of sexuality ... and their twitchyness comes out - just look at the christian family values dudes like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, Larry Craig and all the other christian men who get caught with their pants down.
God created sex. Lol. I like the cute characters.
Sarahroo29
Level 8
Mar 24, 2018
9
The porn industry makes a fortune from so called good christian folk.lol
Sheumais
Level 5
Apr 22, 2018
7
Public denial and private indulgence will do that!
As a holy man, I actually blessed masturbation.
MasonicPrince
Level 4
Mar 24, 2018
8
Not much of a story, just an explanation. To my knowledge, to bless something means to take what used to be considered bad, and recognize it as now being considered good. Masturbation used to be considered a sin, but it has wellness benefits, so it must be good. Therefore, I blessed it.
@Katastrophe1969 @FurNFeatherMama are you sure? Masturbation blessings stories are better told behind closed doors 
Oh, y'all wanna know about the ceremony. There wasn't one. Should we have one?
I am not so sure that evangelicals are that opposed to porn. I mean they aren't vocal about it. But I recall someone who was born again and again giving in to lustful feelings periodically or should I say frequently. Each time she did, she went back to a bible meeting and got saved again. As I recall when the PTL (aka Jim and Tammie Baker) was still going, they advocated that sexual activity was healthy and that christians should be partaking of it. Of course Jim ended up taking too much of his own advice.
lbusche
Level 7
Mar 24, 2018
6
@Bierbasstard That is too funny. Why didn't I ever think of that
Yes, Rev. Jim Bakker enjoyed Jessica Hawn, after slipping a mickey into her drink to "persuade" her to give him pleasure. He also had other woman. Do as I say, not as I do, if you do as I do, I'll punish you!
God created everything and hates so much of it? Sounds like a classic case of self hating deity. Sad.
Cunningman323
Level 4
Aug 10, 2018
6
Yep
and have you seen some of the flowers he has come up with?
btroje
Level 9
Mar 24, 2018
6
obscene!
Wow - this gives a new significance to the second coming! Ewww, Pat Robertson and Jimmy Swaggert doing the deed - together? You know, it just occured to me that God committed suicide - maybe he can create porn so bad, even he doesn't want to watch it.
jeffy
Level 7
Mar 24, 2018
5
Jnei:
What's white and flies across the sky?
The Cumming Of The Lord.
(I thought this was hilarious when I was 13.)
@pepperjones I never thought of that
god committing suicide - i like the theory ... & then he/she/it gets punished for this mortal (!) sin in eternal purgatory or what?
@walklightly Just had a stray thought - just before I read this post, it occurred to me the crucifixion was fundamentally a suicide. So my twisted mind synthesized God watching porn with an alternative motive - other than he died for our sins. Basically, he couldn't stand us anymore and wanted to get the fuck out? Seems more plausible 
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There would be a lot of peeking through my fingers if I was God. You can't unsee that shit!! ??
AdorkableMe
Level 7
July 24, 2018
4
I actually went to school with a woman who couldn't enjoy sex because of that image...god looking down on her in such an awful position.
Jimm:
@LucyLoohoo I hope it was her dream to enter a convent.
I certainly wouldn't want to see ME in that position. I'm well aware of what I look like from behind. 
@actofdog I used to have a dog who liked to watch. Genuinely CREEPY to look over and see Lulu, looking back!
Haha. Even when I’m alone?....hope he isn’t judgemental over the genres I pick ??
antman
Level 7
July 17, 2018
5
But wait...who was it that got in trouble for spilling seed? Onan?
I've been told Jehovah prefers incest porn...
Shiva prefers interracial porn...
The Flying Spaghetti Monster prefers food porn...
Cthuhlu prefers torture porn...
All depends on the god...
Reminds me of the Meese Commission on Porn, under the Reagan administration where for a year 11 anti-porn crusaders looked at the worst porn known to mankind and determined that yes, porn is a gateway drug to harming self or others, and leads to crime in general.....a year.....looking at the worst of the worst porn yet not one person on the commission committed a crime.....yet they've determined that porn leads to crime.
Hmmmmmm......
Adasher1
Level 4
May 19, 2018
5
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