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LINK Hell Introduces 13 New Varieties Of Pineapple Pizza

HELL—The demonic forces of Satan proudly announced Thursday the debut of 13 new varieties of pineapple pizza, designed to torture millions of humans deceived into consuming the hellish abominations.

resserts 8 Mar 26
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31 comments

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1

No f....ng pinapple on pizza,

What would an Americanisation Scot know? Three Michelin's or not.

8

My favorite pizza is deep dish Canadian bacon pineapple olive and tomato with extra sauce

Byrd Level 7 Mar 26, 2018

Get thee behind me, Satan!

6

Yummy Pizza Pizza! Pineapple Kale sounds delish! Lol

Yeah, the kale gives you something to push against when scraping it into the trash.

Lol! Actually, kale gets a bad rap. Cooked is better than raw (it removes the bitter taste). So it would probably taste a little like spinach. Another one of those dark greens that are good for you. Makes pizza guilt free. ?

@BeeHappy I like kale, even raw. If the bitter flavor bothers anyone, here's a tip: crush the leaves (scrunch them up, massage them, whatever) to break up the rigid structure of the leaves, and the resulting flavor becomes fresher and almost sweet (but not in a sugary way). I actually wouldn't mind kale (or spinach) on a pizza; I draw the line at pineapple. lol

6

pineapple and green olives!! Best combo ever!!! just do it!!

No thanks. I'll just purge now and cut out the middle man. Blech!

Noooooo! Back you daemonic multitudes to your foul hole. Olives WITH pineapple?

@kmdskit3 oh hells yes!! try it, you just might like it! I triple dog dare you!!! Bwahaha!!

@mrcharlie65 Plllbbbssstttt!!! (Blowing a raspberry at you)

5

I have never been stoned enough for this.

Haha! I figure a good stoning should be punishment for this.

@resserts I had a friend who was all about ham and pineapple - we aren't friends anymore. rofl

@RavenCT Sometimes you just have to cut the toxic people out of your life.

5

You think that's bad? I also like anchovies.

JimC Level 2 Mar 26, 2018

I've heard they're quite salty, but never tried them.

5

Apostate! Blasphemer! May you burn in the ocean of lava! May you.... Oh, sorry wrong website.

If Frodo had to decide whether to cast the ring or a pineapple pizza into the lava, I'm confident he'd have made the right decision and dispensed with the greater evil. Besides, I'm sure the ring wasn't that bad.

@resserts Believe it or not Gollum and the ring just fell into the river of lava. I'm watching 'The Return of the King' !

@kmdskit3 It's a sign!

5

I love pineapple on my pizza

You almost had me going there for a moment. Well played! 😉

Pizza without pineapple isn"t a pizza

4

Good job, Satan! Keep up the good work

His operation is a well-oiled machine.

4

Have done the marshmallow pineapple pizza, ummmm, pretty decent actually.

I'm pretty sure that violates the Geneva Convention or something.

@resserts no doubt it does, undue cruelty to pizzas or something.

@Rugglesby It's the culinary equivalent of waterboarding, I think.

4

I love pineapple on pizza. Pineapple goes with everything

Pineapple doesn't even go with pineapple. (Okay, I actually like pineapple, but not on my pizza. I don't like anything sweet on my pizza.)

3

I prefer pizza on my pineapple...

3

That pizza looks good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

You misspelled "gross."

@resserts lol

@resserts Sorry

3

Anyone order a bird's eye chilli pizza with pineapple, capsicum, ham, onion, anchovy, chopped pear and 4 cheeses?

I'm going to ignore this comment and pretend I never saw it. I don't think my stomach can take even the thought.

@resserts Do you never have dessert of cheese and fruit board. Does it not all mix together with soup, fish, main course, custard and pudding in the stomach before being digested?

@FrayedBear I generally keep my sweets and savories separate. Fruit is a staple of my diet, so I don't think of it as dessert, and I generally don't eat it with anything else.

@resserts For some, eg. diabetics, having a mix is beneficial/necessary.

that description was gross and has made me nauseous! -_- boo you 😛

@demifeministgal is that cognitive dissonance or simple avoidance of reality?

@FrayedBear neither. It is acknowledging your taste buds make me sick. heh

@demifeministgal Are you a meat eater?

@FrayedBear yes. But a picky eater as well. You strike me as an experimental foodie type.

@demifeministgal Not really, just open try try anything once eg. On my bucket list is to taste tequila. I bought a bottle in January. It is still chilling unopened in one of the fridges!

@FrayedBear I cannot try anything once. Especially spicy foods I cannot tolerate that at all.

@demifeministgal What a shame! Just don't order it with the chilli. 👋👋👋👋👋

Also hate anchovies and pineapple-- on their own and on pizza. :/

3

No. Just. NO.

My sentiments exactly.

LMAO ROFL

2

I will eat almost anything on pizza! Not those little fish with bones though, thats nasty. Or smoked oysters. (well maybe if I had beer too)

ROFL LMAO

2

Looks and sounds delicious, to me. Right now I wouldn't dream of eating anything like this, but back when I could tolerate such food, I loved it.

My gut can tolerate it, but my tastebuds are in full rebellion mode.

2

Oh, please pineapple is an abomination on pizza. Who did rthis? Papa John? I would not be surprised.

Papa John, aka the devil.

2

You can only expect this from the followers of Beelzebub.!

2

Im allergIc

To pineapple?

@resserts yeah. Just having it touch me gives me hives. Consuming it would close my throat. As would all citrus fruits.

@Kaycee Oh, that's awful. I love citrus, and I actually do like pineapple — just not on pizza. I guess that's the silver lining for you: you'll never be tempted to try such an abomination.

@resserts oddly enough, the smell of most citrus fruits revolts me. The smell of oranges and pineapple makes my teeth hurt and I can taste even the smallest amount of lemon/lime in anything. Had a coworker give me a piece of honeydew melon that had touched a piece of pineapple and I gagged when i bit into it.

I think its my body trying to make sure I know not to consume it

@Kaycee I suppose it's a good thing you're not tempted by citrus and pineapple, but it seems somewhat debilitating at the same time.

@resserts it can be. I can't have like orange blossom lotion or be careful with soaps

@Kaycee Wow. Sorry to hear that. What about apples? Is it only citrus fruits?

@novoxguy just citrus. I could probably consume my body weight in apples

2

Canned too I bet.

Filthy fad food nastiness.

Exactly. Just disgusting all around.

@resserts All through my childhood I thought I hated pineapple.
Then I grew up and tried fresh pineapple. I was amazed at the difference.

@BufftonBeotch I like either. But not on my pizza. ?

@resserts I like it with Jamaican/Caribbean type dishes.

Caramelized?

@FrayedBear The Jamaican Jerk? It's a sweet hot, but doesn't really involve large amounts of sugar like a ham glaze. There is a mango Habanero salsa you can make that blends well.

2

I've had it.
It was ok, but I wouldn't order it myself.

2

Funny article. Pineapple pizza. ?

1
1

Pineapple pizza is the devil...

1

where's a gag or vomit emoji when you need one?! NO NO NO! Kill them with fire!

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