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Religion in the workplace

I see quite a few questions posed on here about telling family and friends that you are agnostic or atheist, but my issue is my work. I certainly don’t bring it up, but my new boss (not quite a year with him) included in his introduction to the team how his father-in-law is some big time preacher and how he met his wife through the church.

He has clearly stated what he values and if religion ever comes up in conversation, I am concerned he will view me differently if he learns of my atheist views. We already figured out we have very different working styles and that is already developing into an ongoing challenge for me.

To further complicate things, he is the head of the HR department (now called Human Capital), so he would be the one I should bring issues to.

I will continue to carry on and not voluntarily reveal my views. I don’t know if he already knows or not. A couple people do and they might have said something to him. One of my coworkers reads her bible during her lunch break. Maybe he does know and that is where some of the strain is coming from.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle it when or if it does surface?

Tinocca 7 Jan 2
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42 comments

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2

Good luck. If this job is important to you, it sounds like you're going to need it.

9

Just tell him that over the years you have learned it is improper to talk about religion or politics at work. Tell him that this is a fail-safe way to avoid some confrontations as no two people usually feel exactly the same about everything. If he pushes... Tell him you feel it is rude to ask! Just like people asking who you voted for. This is a personal choice. Of course, have a smile on your face when you say it! πŸ˜‰

7

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex and national origin.

There are now also protections for physical or mental disability, reprisal and, most recently added, sexual orientation.

7

When I allowed it to be known that I was an atheist, I got treated very differently at the place I had worked for a decade. I got the hardest tasks, I was criticized for circumstances beyond my control or for things I had never done. A different set of rules began applying to me than to my co-workers. I eventually left when, without any good reason, I was denied being allowed to use the PTO I had accumulated. I recommend never disclosing opinions on religion and theism while at work, even if asked directly.

Deb57 Level 8 Jan 3, 2020

You are enabling workplaces criminals....if it is less than 2 years ago you can still file for your personal time off reinstatement and back wages alleging A CONSTRUCTIVE DISCHARGE .....ILLINOIS has been compliant usually with civil rights laws and perpetrators depand upon you cowering and quitting

@Larry68Feminist Unfortunately it was much longer ago than that, and the prejudice against atheism was so popular that management and co-workers would likely have have corroborated in any denial that I was treated differently because of my atheism. And I also think it likely that they could have convinced themselves that they were being honest about that. This is a very, very Jesus-y rural area.

@Deb57 true ....winning your case would be difficult on all counts and likely your only win would be the paid days off...even that those LIARS would claim you quit voluntarily....a good lawyer could have proved CONSTRUCTIVE DISCHARGE = intolerable workplace conditions caused you to quit....you were right to save yourself the stress...but never excuse those criminals violated civil rights laws

7

first of all, find out who HIS boss is, in case you do need to talk to someone. if he has no boss, then make sure you know the number of your local aclu office.

then, proceed as usual, but if he brings religion up, respond "i take religion very personally and i do not discuss it at work or in public. thank you for understanding." in your own words, of course!

g

6

Thank you, everyone, for the suggestions and support. Nothing is blatantly discriminatory at this point, but I will document conversations more closely going forward.

I appreciate all the great input. I wish I had you as coworkers to make the work environment more inclusive and supportive.

Sex discrimination is easier to prove than religion bigots in the HR Department....

6

This happened to me, in no uncertain terms, when I was much younger. I believe I am an ethical person. I believe lying is generally unethical, but not in every case.

Sidebar comment: We all lie. There is plenty of research to back this up.

I was interviewing for a job as Director of a home for delinquent boys. The home was sponsored by County government. I was interviewing with the Board of Directors for the county welfare department. A question was asked about my religious preference. I knew this question was illegal, but I did not confront the board member. I replied that I am not a very religious person. Another board member asked me point blank β€œDo you believe in God? I lied and said yes.

I got the job and this issue never came up again.

Say what you will about my ethics. I am comfortable with my ethics and I would do the same thing again in those circumstances. Bravo to @aintmisbehaven below.

I totally respect your choice, advice and it was a rubbish situation to be put in. But I still can’t stop feeling that I wish this never happened; for you or others.

As much as I dislike lying, I probably would have done the same thing in your situation. There is nothing very honest in most religion, so I could have probably managed to rationalize lying on am unethical question they had no right to ask.

6

read up on title VII of the civil rights act, hopefully you will never need it, but it is good to know you rights,

6

If someone brings up religion I smile and change the subject. If they insist, I act distracted, seem to remember something I have to do, and leave the area. If they begin pressuring me to attend some religious function, I murmur, "That's you, not me," then change the subject.

If someone tries to get personal, I say, "Why do you ask?"

5

It's illegal

especially having him head of HR, it might be tough to handle, tho, as an employee. legal nightmare πŸ™„

@KittensandSage I agree with that, HR is supposed to be your support when workplace rules are broken and your rights are violated. Makes it very hard, indeed, she'll have to go outside for help in that area. However, she also has to evaluate whether or not it is worth all the effort.

inevitable

@MrDragon yes

5

Unless you work for a religious organisation, which clearly you don’t, then there is no reason or requirement for you to discuss or reveal your views and beliefs to either your employers or your colleagues. The workplace should be a neutral environment, and a comfortable place for everyone to work, free from religious symbolism and bias. Your boss was out of order when he brought his own religious affiliations to work, and by specifically mentioning it in his introduction to your team. I think the best advice for you in the circumstances is to just continue as you are doing at present and be circumspect in regards to your views unless directly asked. If the question of what you believe does surface I would deflect the question by asking why it’s necessary to know this, as it’s completely irrelevant to your ability to do the job, and a matter private to you.

5

Look for anther job and when you get one, complain about the religious restrains that are there and point out that is why you are leaving.

@Jolanta if the company do not take too kindly to those exit remarks it can work against him for a great reference. Always best to obtain that reference first and perhaps just leave it at that too even after that. If someone cares to listen, mention you felt like you were mentally choked with the religious vomit and laugh about it.

@TimeOutForMe Of course you don't say anything until after you got your reference that goes without saying.

5

Sadly the best course of action is don't ask don't tell and if the question comes up then tell him what he wants to hear. You have the advantage, for you is NOT a sin to lie !!!! πŸ™‚

4

I have always been a glutton for punishment. Everyone at work knows I am an atheist and it has also been circulated that I am a devil worshiper, to which I find amusing.
You do what you need to do to survive. Here in Vegas, religion isn't a big deal, however, I know that in certain parts of our country it is a very big deal and has a far-reaching effect in the lives of people in the workforce.
Here's the rub, if you're ready to lose everything on the grounds of your principles then you fight for your rights. If your not, then you do what you need to survive in your environment, it is just that simple.

agreed

4

A former workmate of mine remains a good friend. We mostly communicate the convenient way - texting. But we occasionally share a McDonald's or Jimmy John's together. While we were working together, he started texting me religious stuff. It was mostly platitude. I would respond with a question when he might have been expecting submission. He eventually got the idea. He stopped the religious texts and we rarely bring it up. But he remains an excellent friend. Just before Christmas I texted him something that, I thought, would amuse him. I said that the spirits that usually visit me on Christmas Eve don't typically do any good. His response had a dissatisfied tone and told me that I better listened. But we had lunch together since.. His latest texts tell me that he will treat me to Pepper Jack's soon and he called me, "dear friend."

Moral of story: You may not loose as many friends as you think when you come out of the closet.

MrDMC Level 7 Jan 3, 2020

That’s a good story, thanks for sharing. It’s amazing what you can accept about others if the mutual respect is maintained.

@MrDMC
Why do people have to be afraid of "coming out of the closet"? It's strange to hear this from American people. People outside of the USA are more open about it. I've always been open about my non-belief and both my sons have too. What is there really to be afraid of? or who are you afraid of? No-one can kill you for it (except if you live in a Muslim country).

The worst I would think is that family will be annoyed with you or wash their hands over you and some may frown about it. How can you shackle your thoughts. It's like self-imprisonment! USA is not a communist country or an Arab country. Why do you guys do this to yourselves?

I simply didn't care much about what people thought about my outlook in life or how I raised my kids. Everyone that knows me, friends, workmates etc know I'm an Atheist. I haven't really become less of anything to anyone. I remain me and they can choose to remain them or whatever, not my concern honestly. My neighbour's know I'm an Atheist and they both love me to bits. Why is it such a big issue? In life you're either a Theist or Atheist? Is that only it? What about the person? Why is it sooooo difficult for most Americans to freely choose to live their life without a religion? Aren't you free to choose? It doesn't matter if you end up with a partner that doesn't think the way you do. ...so long as there's an understanding and if you have kids, that you agree that your kids will not follow an indoctrination pattern and respect is deserved in return between adults.

My kids haven't lost out in life or lost friends and they have no fear to share their views. Perhaps some of you feel you would be offending your parents? Your in-laws? Why would that be offensive?...seems to me there's some form of mild proselytizsing in American society even though not death as in Arab countries. I've observed comments for many months on this site and it's mind-boggling how so many of you are afraid of being, scrutinised, afraid of being victimised or wiped from a family trust that would enrich you just because your thinking is different, non-belief in any god or gods. I honestly remain baffled.

...by the way MrDMC you look like the guy on the Atheist Xperience. Is it you? 😊

@TimeOutForMe Thanks for sharing. I am not the guy on Atheist Xperience.

@girlwithsmiles Yes, it is about respect - not being alike.

Agreed; I don't assume just because someone else is religious that they are a bad person, and I can continue to be friends with those who are that I am a bad person just because I am not. Nice story though, and thanks for sharing

4

As long as nobody brings the issue up, I don't think you should either. More than this I don't know what to say. Although I live in a Catholic based country I never was discriminated for being agnostic, not even when my manager was a Muslim. I wish I could help you better. Hopefully, they'll be accepting people and you'll be alright.

4

Be honest, be respectful, but be firm in your own beliefs.

That’s what I would do, I can respect other people but can’t change what I feel about faith.
But I’m still not sure it’s the best advice, on reading other’s comments, sad isn’t it?

4

Keep mute about it. Whatever your religious views are? it has nothing to do with the workplace. Friends and family are different.
If asked plead the 5th or 1st amendments and change the subject.
I have only ever encountered this when working for customers. I am always honest with them but I have never had this from a boss. If he does bring it up and penalize you because of it? Then you may have a legal case

4

If it were possible, I'd seek to be transferred, or seek another job altogether. It is likely the only persons who voice similar beliefs to his.

If you do stay put, start a diary of any conflicts and what was said. If he does have it in for nonbelievers, you want to be able to make a case for wrongful dismissal and a hostiel work environment... if it comes to that.

You took the comment I was going to make. Keep accurate and copious notes. Be careful not to mention your religious or non religious views. If things get serious you might contact an attorney known to specialize in workers rights. You might check with CFI or FFRF for possible referrals.

4

Just a thought, maybe leave an anonymous note stating that brining up his religious views at work could be seen as pushing his religious views on others. Being in the HR field, that may be enough to make him think twice in the future.

This is a good idea. Throw a little Civil Rights Act in there and see if it blossoms into something useful.

4

IKR, keep it to yourself! I have lived in both the bible belt south, and Mormon Utah, and often at work or a social setting one of the first things that people ask is which church you go to. On one hand, it may be harmless small talk, but I feel often there is a more nefarious motive to size you up "morally."

On a related issue, I'm liberal. I've never had a boss come up to me and make anti-conservative or pro-liberal comments, but several times I've had bosses or colleagues in the workplace make anti-liberal or pro-conservative comments. Again, it feels like some people have the need to assert their beliefs on everyone else. There is a time and a place that religion or politics can be discussed, and in the workplace is not one of them.

4

In my workplace religion sometimes come up one way or another. My remarks back to them are that earlier in my life I studied to be a Pentecostal preacher. Today I am no longer religious. Usually they leave me alone at that. If not, I tell them they are trying to put words in my mouth and go back to the above again.

Pentecostal is hard core.

@freeofgod Call me a hard core non-believer.

I have, in the past, fallen back on mentioning I was raised Irish Catholic. Didn’t bring up that I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but they believe it must still be my situation. That gives me a buffer.

@Tinocca Yeah, sometimes when I know people are going do judge me, I mention that I was raised Baptist, that the preacher was like my 2nd dad, and that his son was my best friend, and leave it at that. If they persist, I'm honest, and tell them that I'm not a "believer," but as someone else mentioned above, somehow I'm satan incarnate if I'm an atheist.

3

I'd be betting he already knows. Your choice is to act like a mouse, or act like a lion. I would be choosing lion every time. Everyone at my workplace knows I am not a believer, I make no secret of it, and the way I view it, if you act like a mouse, you will be treated like a mouse.

2

Regardless of whether or not your boss makes his beliefs known, I would avoid discussions of religion and politics in the workplace. If someone professes their own beliefs, ask poignant questions. If you are skillful enough in that process, you can politely and gently lead them to that wonderful but scary vista of doubt and that's where their real learning will begin to take place. Or, you can simply refer them to Karen Armstrong's wonderful book, "A History of God."

Thanks for the suggestions.

2

You can make an anonymous complaint to your state or local civil rights COMMISSION....Do so by post card no return address ....just type the following; I fear discrimination in hiring and promotion in the area of religion against Atheists and non-christian employees.....keep a copy of your postcard typed on a library typewtiter.....the COMMISSION should teach your new boss how to comply with civil rights laws
.....if you are fired or passed over for a promotion you can then file a claim for compensation with your name

2

My boss is the same way he will make dumb comments all the time and its common since most of co-workers are Republican god loving country people. I am not sure I would be scared for him finding out as long as he isn't outta line like judge your ethics or morals. I am very blunt so I usually don't care about what others think of me since I shouldn't be looked down upon. I love conversations and thats a topic I don't mind explaining to people if they are really interested. When my boss says There is No seperation of church at work, I and my coworker usually talk back and jokingly let him know its not allowed. If you don't have any shame in yourself I would not sweat it. Laws are set up and if your boss needs a nudge of reminder just be blunt. ✊😏

You are an excellent role model for Atheists in the workplace....the closet is a tenuous shelter for Atheists while ASSERTIVE Atheists can stand their ground like Jews Muslims Sikhs Buddhist et al against theocrat xians

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