Agnostic.com

52 61

LOL, it just CANNOT get any better imo.
Just finished with a short conversation, via the phone, with none other that 'Pope' Paul Skelley who informs me that his little 'congregation' has met and decided that, " Considering my blatant Atheism, my absolute denial of God and Jesus, my being a Doctor of Theology and a neighbour of one of HIS flock members, they shall be attending my home in the very near future to PERFORM an exorcism upon myself, my home and my property to drive out and expel ALL the Devils and Demons that plague me."
I tend to think that 'Pope Paul' is bereft of a sense of humour since he slammed down the phone at his end when I replied, " If you want to exercise the Devil and the Demons please don't do it in my home or on my property, be kind to them, take them for a walk around the town and show the sights, I'm sure they'll enjoy that much, much more."

Triphid 8 June 29
Share

Post a comment Author often replies/likes Reply Author often replies/likes Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

52 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

6

This...

5

What a violation in every sense of the word. These theists and their exaggerated sense of entitlement!

Deb57 Level 8 June 30, 2020
5

Oh FFS....definitely have the cops ready

4

Be careful what you admit to! You may be required to get a pet license for each and everyone of those demons!

Shit, never thought about that,.
Now I'll have to ask them for their names, ages, whether they've been de-sexed, are they 'house-trained.' Omnivores/Vegans/Vegetarians, what kinds of movies, etc, they enjoy watching, etc, etc.
I can imagine the look on the face of the Vet when I front up to have them micro-chipped as well....LOL.

With nametags: Legion 1, Legion 2, Legion 3, etc.

4

If you exorcise a demon, does it need to be on a leash?

Lol. On or under?

Good point, I wonder if you also need to have it micro-chipped, de-sexed and registered with the Local Council like we have to do with the family dog...LOL.
I used to be a recognised local Dog Obedience Trainer for many years, MAYBE I could help them out by teaching those Demons, etc, the basics like Sit, Stand, Stay, etc, on command....LOL.

@Triphid Good idea but you may need some new commands like destroy, vomit, possess.

4

After giving this a bit of thought, I wonder if you might do best to let the exorcism proceed.

Consider: if the exorcism was successful, you would change your evil ways. You will not, however, change anything, which will leave them to conclude one of the following:

A) you weren't actually possessed to begin with.
B) Gawd did not find their prayers convincing.
C) your demons are indeed mighty.

Of those three possibilities, the only one that seems risky is C, as they might decide to take more extreme measures. Certainly you should not allow trespassing but, failing that, you might do well to just sit back and enjoy the show.

absolutely I agree with this. Spot on. lol

You are expecting rational thought from delusional sheeple...

@shockwaverider I don't think that I am. The possible conclusions that I listed are, after all, only rational within the framework of the delusions that they already have.

Can you think of some other conclusion that they might reach? I'm not being snarky, by the way - I realize that I may not have explored all the possibilities.

@AmyTheBruce I wouldn't want to speculate what people who are irrational might think. I don't believe we can count on them to think rationally at all, not even within their delusional framework(s). They may, (are likely to), hold contradictory views simultaneously. Fundamentalists irrationally rationalize contradictions between different parts of the bible and their experiences in the world.

I'm not trying to be snarky either, I think your conclusions are very logical. Having worked with schizophrenics, illogical people might conclude that aliens took control over the space around his house and are blocking dog from... That might fit into option 3. 🙂

4

This is the pastor of the Evangeloon? What ever happened with that, by the way? If you posted an update, I must have missed it. Did he ever catch on to the mysterious voice of Gawd that you generously provided? Did he ever go into the wilderness as directed?

I don't suppose your yard has a sprinkler system with which to baptize them, when they come to exorcise you?

Nope no sprinkler system, just drip irrigation sadly.
Evangelidiot is still trying, and emphasise the trying, to build his wooden hand-cart to carry his supplies, he is planning to be at Uluru ( Ayers Rock) on December, 25th, this year to 'receive' the new Commandments from God and to cewlebrate the birth of Jesus while he is there.
But I did make a healthy 'profit' via a daring and somewhat devious son of a friend a few weeks ago.
i'm not sure I showed you this but I found a copper nail a while back in my garden, after a wee chat and a deal to split the profits evenly with the son of my friend decided to try and sell the nail to Evangelidiot by claiming it was sent to him by his distant uncle who lives in Israel and who told him that it came from a 'dig site' where they found the Carpenters Workshop of Joseph, husband of the Virgin Mary.
Evangelidiot fell for it hook, line and sinker, paid a nice little sum of $300.00A for it and now proudly shows it off to all his fellow Evangelidiots.
So, Geoffery and I are now $150 richer each.

@Triphid That’s so funny! Next, it will be a Splinter of the True Cross. In the Middle Ages all the cathedrals claimed to have ‘holy relics’ from the crucifixion or from saints. I’m sure just old bones from a graveyard. St. Agatha’s shinbone! 🙄

3

Who needs netflix when you have so much entertainment on tap. 😃

3

Based on my experiences with the thumpers in my first wife's family and how they formed such crazy and delusional thoughts based on a book, I , and this is just me , would be cautious with these nutters.
People with rabid beliefs are dangerous, mans rules and laws are meaningless to them,as are logic , reason, boundaries and your rights.
That being said you would think Bennie Hill or some Pythons were involved,craziness pure and simple.

3

You must shoot some video and post it here. Most of us have never had the opportunity to witness a really for real exorcism.

If you want to see a demon, confront someone on what they hide from themselves. Don't forget to duck.

3

Why try performing a daemoning on them! Spray them with unholy water, put a small amount of orange juice in it for effect.

I'd use tomato juice ... they'll think it's baby blood.

3

Why is he focused on you? A million people are Atheists and deny god and jesus exist what makes you so special? You were a 'flock' member? One of his chosen sheeple?
Tell him you have a pack of dogs that'll attack the minute he steps on your property. if you don't have dogs just say you borrowed them from a "protection training class." and they actually do attack without any commands.

"Why is he focused on you?"

"Doctor of Theology"

@Triphid knows too much.

@Fred_Snerd I'd say you're 110% correct there.
Every time they try to 'convert' me from across the fence line between my house and Evangelidiot's, I can counter their arguments with more knowledge about their 'beliefs', etc, than they can respond to.

3

So long as they don't treat you like poor Joan Vollmer in Antwerp Victoria a few years ago - they reportedly tortured her ultimately killing her having driven a broom handle down her throat to drive the devil's out. Start getting very worried if they try to wrap your house in Cling wrapping.

[news.com.au]

Bad boy Bubby rides again. Cling wrap the demon 😂😂😂

@Cyklone Didn't you read the report?

That is a VERY disturbing news article. Not at all what I have in mind when I think of justice.

@FrayedBear I didn't initially, I thought you were referring to the movie, but you're right, the report is troubling and difficult to believe it would occur in this country, even in 1993. Interesting that the movie also came out in 1993.

@Cyklone wнιcн мovιe?
ι ĸnow people wнo ĸnew joan vollмer. ιт ιѕ a ѕad godвoтнerιng хenopнoвιc area corrυpтed вy ιgnorance and relιgιoѕιтy.

@creative51 тнaт ѕadly ιѕ мy eхperιence тo daтe oғ vιcтorιan jυѕтιce, ιgnorance and ιnнυмanιтy ғreqυenтly occυrrιng ιn тнe naмe oғ relιgιon, хenopнoвιa & jυѕтιce.

No chance of that happening.
Got informed in person no less by the Local Police inspector last evening that, " After reviewing the taped conversation in the prescence of the Magistrate it has been decided the the Police will take out a Restraining Order, on my behalf, as of 10.15 am today and so ORDERING that Paul Skelley and his Congregation must NOT approach me in Public, in my own Private Home or on my Property, must NOT come within 50 metres of me or my property, must NOT place messages, etc, in my mailbox, on my fence or otherwise for a period of no less than 5 years from the date the Order is issued by the Court, the penalty for Breaching this Order will be Arrest, Charged with Breaching a Legal Court Order and Imprisonment for a term of between 2 - 3 years."
Plus, the Inspector and the Magistrate adivised that I keep my Security Camera system operational at ALL times and recording via the disc recording system.

@Triphid Excellent result. How do you manage to record phone calls?

@FrayedBear I have an attachment to my land-line that I can either plug in an extra ear-piece or a cable that runs to the microphone socket on an old cassette recorder.
As soon as I recognised 'Pope Paul's' voice I hit the record button.

@Triphid I hope that it makes the ABC News.

@FrayedBear Bad boy Bubby, filmed in Adelaide. A very dark film about a man isolated from society since birth. He had a tendency to clingwrap people who annoyed him.

@Cyklone Aha. Antwerp is halfway between Melbourne & Adelaide. It is possible if the dates sync that it influenced the religious lunatics.

3

You should tell him to first get all the 'devils' out of all of the kid fuckers in his hierarchy.

3

You need to make a movie out of this.

3

Seriously, they're still doing the home invasion thing? Do they play basketball?

I don't think so, just with themselves and probably only when they think Jesus isn't watching ....LOL.

@Triphid Do you have a basketball?

2

You have to hand it to those imbeciles: they are 100% consistent in their stupidity.

2

Haha excellent!

2

CALL THE POLICE you are being targeted by domestic terrorists

Nah, just a bunch of Religiotard Nut-cases imo.

2

Don’t you know you have to be saved by jeebus? 🤣

SalC Level 6 June 30, 2020

Yeah BUT which bank does this Jeebus save with....LOL.
Me, I prefer our local Credit Union, they don't charge Banking Fees for members who are on a Pension.

2

Here in California, I’d be able to try several legal responses involving concepts like trespass or harassment, possibly even get a restraining order from a judge. Or, I could set up lawn chairs, invite friends, possibly serve refreshments.

What a great idea make a party of it and tell them if they enter your property you will call the cops, film them and post so we can all laugh at it.

@Budgie Luckily, this scenario is very unlikely in my very diverse city. Besides, most of my neighbors are Buddhists/Taoists, who tend not to be pushy about their beliefs!

2

Your neighbor is a few cans shy of a six pack?

We have an older saying here, " He/they are 2 loaves short of sandwich."

2

They have already exorcised the "sweetness" out of themselves.

2

That...is, honestly, scary. That's one step away from burming you at the stake. I wouldn't answer in a way that play into their delusion. Remember they actually believe this stuff. They could take your answer as comfirmaton of their delusions.

First they will blame a devil posessing you, so they try to chase it away. When that doesn't work, soon comes the idea that you must be the devil. In olden days that meant you were about to die.

I would take this seriously. I would befriend the neighbor. Be nice, invite your neighbor for tea or barbeque or an evening hanging out with friends at a restaurant.

The pastor instinctively understands that he can lose a valuable paying member of his group if they befriend you and has decided to protect his money source by labeling you as bad.

Make sure the congregation thinks and knows you are good.

Taking the piss is an australian art form and these are not the sort of people to be scared of in this country. They are to be mocked and ridiculed.

Just in case you didn't hear about it, we're in a global pandemic...

@shockwaverider Oh we know about the Covid Pandemic here in Australia, we've had it here for months but where I live, touch wood, we are a Covid Free Declared Zone thus far.

2

You better be careful. The pope seem to be deranged and may have a gun.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:510694
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.