I think it’s basically saying I’d like the physical side with you but I’m not in love and if I suddenly fall for someone else I can move on to the new person easier.

@antman makes sense. Guess just accepting that it is what it is and moving on when ready.

I think he would want it to continue - we both enjoyed the intimacy, but I know I was having a tougher time with that and the friendship than he was. I appreciate that he felt it was important to grow the friendship, and I even told him down the road, who knows, if I felt comfortable and ready and we both agreed to it, I would be happy the have the "benefits" again. He seemed okay with that. Whether or not he wants to find another casual relationship, I have to accept that.

@bleurowz Your original post and your comments have me all over confused. There are three options here. You are both, going forward, either going to be friends only, friends with benefits or pursuing a relationship. It sounded as if you were ok with the friends with benefits idea and wanted more but then there was a drought and you were left wondering why. Now you’re saying you were having a harder time with that set up and are happy with the ‘just friends’ agreement? Am I correct? Then, you say you would be open the the benefits side of things again, as HE seemed to be ok with that but he’s not putting that option out for you to grab? No wonder your confused...so am I lol. This sounds like a very complicated friendship from the beginning. I hope whatever comes your way, you are happy with the outcome.

@Hazydays It never was a relationship. It started as benefits. Then the friendship started to grow, and while he didn't have a problem with both, I did, and I think he could sense that. I'd made this post before I talked to him. I realize it's mainly because I'm going through some personal transitions in my life and it was too much. So now we have put sex on the back burner because growing the friendship had become more important. But the door is still open, even though the future is unknown. Yes, it has been complicated. I think only recently has there been any clarity. Hope that explains it better.

@bleurowz it does??. I’m glad you have the clarity you needed. It sounds like you have a good friendship and he makes you happy. That’s the main thing ?

@bleurowz I think you might be forcing it a bit...... don't try and make anything...just go with the flow....sistah

Yes, not now. Maybe down the road, that door is still open.

We were very compatible sexually, but for me it was compromising the friendship. So we've agreed to put sex on the back burner. He may or may not want to be casual with someone else, I have to accept that.

No. I think it was just confusing for both of us. We had been somewhat intimate, but that was dwindling; meanwhile, our friendship was suffering, so we've decided to put sex on the back burner.

@bleurowz I misunderstood the past part of the relationship, I guess that makes sense.

Agree. We are both communicating what we want. Right now we want to focus on developing a nice friendship and have put sex on the back burner. He may or may not want to pursue something casual with someone else, I have to accept that.

@bleurowz Well done. I was in a 'friend with benefits' relationship 5 years ago, which has now evolved into an asexual reality, which is still so very satisfying for us. We are both also very touchy-feely, so my needs to hug and touch, and to be hugged and touched, are satisfied. And that is wonderful, and maybe even critical, for me at least. [psychologytoday.com]

@josephr I love this! Thank you.

@bleurowz Enjoy.